Hi goingthruthemotions, Your wife has a typical authentic persona and cult persona for a member of a high-control group. I doubt she has dissociative personality disorder per a clinical definition. If you want to learn more about communicating better with you wife, have you read any cult-exit counselors' works like Steven Hassan's book "Combating Cult Mind Control" with one "t" instead of two "t's", or watched his free videos on his www.freedomofmind.com website like https://freedomofmind.com//Media/video.php?id=23 .
If you haven't I would recommend that you do before visiting an attorney about a divorce.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert