Yinzer .... very glad that you have found this site & welcome!
Loved your writing ...I could feel your dilemma & your angst. Truth is we have been harmed in ways big & small that add up to problems.
I woke up rather late in life but my most precious possession in all of this FREEDOM ! So whether we are young or old, while there is still life in us .....life is good.
Yes we have been robbed & if we are being shunned & lost our families, we have been beat-up and left for dead!
But still life insists that we go on. We are not rushed by "Armageddon is coming" so take your time Yinz...all anyone can do is live one minute at a time. Live in the moment .... do not worry about "what you will be when you're big" .... if you know what I mean. All those minutes add up to a life of your creation. Love your family passionately ... exercise those feelings that you never developed. We basically were turned into zombies!
Wishing you well...
clarity