i am a former dub, born and raised and left at the age of 18. i was baptised at nine, aux pioneer, regular pioneer and around 16 started to see the light.
my parents give me the heave-ho the day i hit 18 (at midnight, to be precise.
) i was marked at 17 for dating a "worldly".
Hi Moshe.
Actually, my parents have rewritten history. They claim that I left of my own accord when I stopped believing, they were already giving me the liberty I had already taken.
Indeed, my mom was just reminiscing, with tears in her eyes, the night I left their house.
for those of us that were baptized and faded, how long do you think before we can stop worrying about being called in for a jc?
i've faded 13 years ago, but i still never answer an unknown phone number, don't answer a knock at the door unless a friend has told me they are on their way, etc.
also, i avoid giving anyone other than my mom my contact info and no one gets my address.. i could care less about avoiding a df, were it not for my family that is still in.
Hello All!
For those of us that were baptized and faded, how long do you think before we can stop worrying about being called in for a JC? I've faded 13 years ago, but I still never answer an unknown phone number, don't answer a knock at the door unless a friend has told me they are on their way, etc. Also, I avoid giving anyone other than my mom my contact info and no one gets my address.
I could care less about avoiding a DF, were it not for my family that is still in. I'd like to maintain ties with them if possible. I belong to another religion now, and have married a non-believer as well. He acts like my bouncer, lol, and if we are at family functions, he never lets any potential elder get close to me unless he recognizes them as family.
So how long is long enough? Have you heard or experienced long-time inactive folks being called on decades later?
i am a former dub, born and raised and left at the age of 18. i was baptised at nine, aux pioneer, regular pioneer and around 16 started to see the light.
my parents give me the heave-ho the day i hit 18 (at midnight, to be precise.
) i was marked at 17 for dating a "worldly".
Thanks for all the kind words everyone. It's nice to be among a group of people who understand this situation! I look forward to getting to know you all.
..and it is driving me crazy.
these kids are 16 and 17 years old.
the jw boy is such a great kid, with a wonderful heart.
Hi there.
I know some JWs in education and I find it very distasteful when they attempt to witness to kids in their classes, especially because kids at that young age are so impressionable. Of course, the dubs reason that it's also a matter of life and death, an excuse I think is pathetic....so I feel a bit hypocritical about what I'm about to suggest.
How about sending an anonymous letter to the parents of the kids telling them more about the org and what being a JW really means? Direct them to online resources and provide an anonymous email address where they can can contact you for more information. If you tell them that you were a former dub and are concerned for their kids' well being, they might very well appreciate the warning.
Best of luck!
i am a former dub, born and raised and left at the age of 18. i was baptised at nine, aux pioneer, regular pioneer and around 16 started to see the light.
my parents give me the heave-ho the day i hit 18 (at midnight, to be precise.
) i was marked at 17 for dating a "worldly".
Hi Skeeter.
I know what you mean about feeling a little alien. I never really took up holidays, and sometimes would celebrate just cause it was a big deal to my friends. Funny you should think about moving to another country. It seems that's exactly what I've done, all the while staying in the US. Most of my friends, including my husband, are not American. They came from non-Christian countries, so all holidays, including Christmas and birthdays are strange to them. Also, they knew nothing about the dubs, proof that clearly the kingdom good news isn't permeating as deeply as some would like us to believe.
i am a former dub, born and raised and left at the age of 18. i was baptised at nine, aux pioneer, regular pioneer and around 16 started to see the light.
my parents give me the heave-ho the day i hit 18 (at midnight, to be precise.
) i was marked at 17 for dating a "worldly".
Thanks everyone! It took quite a bit of therapy to get to the point where I realized that this wasn't my fault. The guilt caused major depression and there were times I wanted to go back just to have my family back. Ultimately, being in a kh caused me to feel physically ill, so it's been years since I even tried. In therapy, I learned to grieve the relationship I wanted but could never have with my mother. I love her so much, and being on this site has helped me understand that her mind is no longer her own. She can't love me the way she wants to because she isn't her own person any more. One day, I pray that we can sit in a room and talk without tiptoing around landmines. Until then, every time we spend time with each other, I find myself spending extra time cataloging memories, just in case it's the last time we see each other.
Thank you for your advice. Black sheep, I hope one day I can sit down and start restudying the literature. Talk about fighting fire with fire.
Mamalove, fortunately I was working for a bit before my h.s. graduation. I spent a month or so living with a high-school associate (not friend, associate) , then used my modest savings and the graduation money I had been given and got my own little place -- in a very rough neighborhood, but it was all my own. Thank goodness for my great communication skills -- one thing I can really thank my upbringing for. I was able to talk my way into a job where I supported myself comfortably and started going to college. It took 10 years, but I finally graduated with my Bachelor's degree a few years back. And guess what? My parents were there, crying at my graduation. I cried too, not because I was graduating, but because my parents were there watching me achieve what they said I never could. Contrary to their words, I never ruined my life, never ended up on drugs, pregnant out of wedlock, homeless, etc "like all former JWs do". I was successful, happily married and graduating from the University they told me I could never go to.
I pray all of us with family in this wretched organization will be around when our family finally sees the light and, just like Lazarus being raised from the tomb, "come on out"!
Thanks again for the kind words and best of luck to you all.
a little while back my siblings and i (one jw two exjw's) had and intervention for my mother (jw) because she nearly killed herself by abusing her perscription medicine.
like most addicts she denied that she had a problem and refused to get help, so my sister, brother, and i all restricited our contact with her as agreed until she would get help.
my mother turned to her local elders (she is inactive, only because she doesn't like to leave her house, she still believes) and sent them after my sister and i. i haven't been to a meeting since 2006, i am married to a non jw (oh the shame) and celebrate holidays, the elders show up at my house unannounced and start brow beating me in the most christian way about respecting my parents and (this is hiliarious) tell me that just because i don't agree with everything she does (they also tell me that she needs all her pills because of her pain) doesn't mean i can cut off association with her because it isn't scriptual... i couldn't help myself i laughed outloud.
Yeah, that's definitely rich! The same way the congregation will pass around sob stories of some bible study being persecuted, all the while patting themselves on the back for shunning their children that left the truth!
Can I get in on that too please? Thanks.
i am a former dub, born and raised and left at the age of 18. i was baptised at nine, aux pioneer, regular pioneer and around 16 started to see the light.
my parents give me the heave-ho the day i hit 18 (at midnight, to be precise.
) i was marked at 17 for dating a "worldly".
Thanks everyone. I have lurked on this site for years, as far back as 2004. I promise to try to participate more, but old habits die hard.
The last time I had interaction with the elders was 4 years ago, and that came as I was chased out of a funeral for a family member when I was approached by three elders in an impromptu JC. As soon as they said that some things had come to their attention, I scolded them for being tactless enough to approach me at a funeral, reminded them that I hadn't stepped inside of a KM for nearly nine years, and had also had no contact with JWs other than my immediate family in that time period. I walked away, kissed my family goodbye, and haven't seen anyone other than my parents since.
My mom told me that the elders felt very badly for behaving badly, but explained that they needed to try to meet with me when they could. I left the state 2 months later and just recently moved back, with my false-religion worshipping hubby. I'm quite worried that the new flock book will inspire these wit-men (pun intended) to come gunning for me once again.
Oh to be free...
woohoo!!!
i'm not at the meeting; i just know when the meeting ends..
Congratulations!!!!
