Posts by augustOne

I'm glad you didn't suffer abuse and PTSD as a child. You mentioned your last crash into depression - which is something I commonly hear from people. I battled terrible depression for SO LONG - and though I'm better now I feel it still lives in me like a black hole I've learned to distance myself from - or be sucked it. This may have been harder on all of us than we realize...I only say this in the interest of your emotional health - so if painful things are interfering with your ability to live a happy healthy life you get all the help you need to deal with them. It took me some years to realize that I could expect a better life than paralyzing depression - and even a lack of paralyzing depression. I could be happy and thrive. The sadness that remains is sadness anyone SHOULD feel dealing with the kind of loss and conditional love we have all experienced. I don't know enough about your situation to say much more than that - out of genuine concern and from a very clear memory of just how hard it was for me to get out of bed and funcion for several years.

I don't think the people in the group we were in are terrible. There are some who knowingly manipulate, abuse, and prey on others - yes those kind of people that exist in pretty much every group are terrible. That behavior is TOTALLY inexcusable! One of the biggest helps to me was studying the work of social psychologists - understanding how social influence works - how incredibly powerful it is. Thier belief is that in a social context like Jehovah's Witnesses a lot of the behavior we see, and things we may have even said and done and believed - were a reasonable choice (maybe even the best choice) considering the circumstances. At first it was hard for me to think of my past life this way - but it eventually helped me to make more sense of the overwhelming confusion and sadness that was most of my life.

The best comparison I can think of is when people are in an extreme situation that threatens thier life - they behave in ways that make sense in the situation - but out of that context would not. The trapped Chilean miners survived for 17 days on a 2 day supply of emergency food. An associated press article I read reports they did this by living on "two spoonfuls of tuna, a sip of milk and a bite of crackers. Every other day." In their situation it makes sense to eat like that - though it is not healhty - they need to SURVIVE! But now they are recieving more food - and when they are hopefully free - they will eat in a "normal" way that is healthy. Really - we were like those miners for so long - rationing the bits of healhty things around us to SURVIVE - but in an environment that is only so healthy, of course unhealthy things will take place. Read the article but imagine the mine as the religion and the miners as the members, it may help: http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/08/trapped_chilean_miners_lived_o.html

I don't have a set time scale to release Episode 2. I have a couple of trailers coming out soon. I'm starting graduate school next week so hope to get it out before I get too busy in the next couple of months. There will be significant improvements (I hope) in Episode 2 so I'm trying to balance giving the quality I want to the Episode with getting it out ASAP. I'll post a message on here when the trailers are ready - and even better - the full episode.

Thanks for your comments. I said more than I planned - I hope it helps in some way!

~ Mani

37

If you want to see Episode 1 of the new XJW documentary, "Belief," here are links

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

belief: episode 1 - sacred ground.

belief: episode 2 trailer.

the video it looks better in full-screen version so click on "box" at right bottom.

augustOne

to jwfacts

Thank you so much! Please embed it at jwfacts.com. I'm glad you liked the poem as well - that realization is what led to the film so it is very meaninful to me. I have a website about "Belief" that is down right now - when it is up and running again I will post a link to jwfacts.com. Thanks again for your words - I'm glad my work is having the intended effects.

~ Mani

37

If you want to see Episode 1 of the new XJW documentary, "Belief," here are links

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

belief: episode 1 - sacred ground.

belief: episode 2 trailer.

the video it looks better in full-screen version so click on "box" at right bottom.

augustOne

to AndersonsInfo

Barbara - your support means so much to me - thank you! I have gained so much strength from your example of tireless work to educate and bring comfort to others. I will pour it into this work so I will hopefully have a large impact like you have!

~ Mani

37

If you want to see Episode 1 of the new XJW documentary, "Belief," here are links

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

belief: episode 1 - sacred ground.

belief: episode 2 trailer.

the video it looks better in full-screen version so click on "box" at right bottom.

augustOne

to SixofNine

Thank you for the information! I will look it over carefully. As a musician and budding movie maker I still prefer to support newer people trying to make an impact on the world...but this helps lessen my anxiety a bit for sure!

Thanks again!

~Mani

37

If you want to see Episode 1 of the new XJW documentary, "Belief," here are links

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

belief: episode 1 - sacred ground.

belief: episode 2 trailer.

the video it looks better in full-screen version so click on "box" at right bottom.

augustOne

to Lozhasleft

Thank you for your comment! Every positive comment gives me more confidence that I am on the right track.

~ Mani

37

If you want to see Episode 1 of the new XJW documentary, "Belief," here are links

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

belief: episode 1 - sacred ground.

belief: episode 2 trailer.

the video it looks better in full-screen version so click on "box" at right bottom.

augustOne

to Meeting Junkie No More

Wow! What a great compliment. Thank you so much! Though for exposure reasons I would love that - since I will never allow this to become a project for someone's profit I pretty much wrote off the idea from the outset. If I could get the Hollywood types to buy into the idea and people could always have access to what I release at no cost it would be wonderful - a dream come true.

I'm working hard to network and spread the word to as many people as possilbe - please do the same so people can truly UNDERSTND and know how this FEELS - which is of paramount importance to me!

~Mani

37

If you want to see Episode 1 of the new XJW documentary, "Belief," here are links

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

belief: episode 1 - sacred ground.

belief: episode 2 trailer.

the video it looks better in full-screen version so click on "box" at right bottom.

augustOne

to whereami

Thank you for your comment! It really means a lot to me.

While I understand why you would want to link this project to any JWs to get them thinking (and I certainly think your heart is in the right place), I ask PLEASE that it not be used this way. I don't have a lot of strong views - but I am against telling people what to believe - even when I don't agree. There are several people I communicate with who are still involved with the JWs that I think it would be a mistake to encourage to leave - for a variety of reasons. In simple terms, for each person its a loss/gain situation - and if they will not gain enough to help them withstand the massive loss they will experience on every level of thier existence - I personally don't think its best for them to leave.

Most important to me is the health and happiness of people who have had experiences like ours - which I believe comes through education and choices - the two things we were so VERY deprived of. For that purpose please spread the word about "Belief," but please not to those who are not ready to make their own decision to think about what they believe.

Thank you!

~ Mani

37

If you want to see Episode 1 of the new XJW documentary, "Belief," here are links

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

belief: episode 1 - sacred ground.

belief: episode 2 trailer.

the video it looks better in full-screen version so click on "box" at right bottom.

augustOne

to truthseekeriam

Thank you so much for your comments. They mean the world to me! Yes you will survive - not only that - you will THRIVE! I celebrated my 8th year of freedom this past August 1st - and I am so much stronger than I have ever imagined. I felt when I started this project that I needed to put myself out there in a real way so others could have what I did not have when I was so weakened by the loss and transition I experienced. Before I asked anyone to interview for me - I taped my own therapy sessions in an effort to lead the way in SHOWING how this affects us - rather than just talking about it...much more of that will be featured in future episodes.

Important is that I am working to make this applicable to people in all stages of leaving Jehovah's Witnesses. While it is my hope that the more years people have away from this - the less they would need to watch something like "Belief," my experience, research, and converstaions with people who have been out for many years tells me that it is something we will in some ways deal with all our lives - in different ways of course. Hopefully by the time it is all over there will be enough in all my episodes to help anyone at any stage.

More trailers for Episode 2 are being released soon...I'm working hard to make it much better than Episode 1 - hopefully I will suceed!

~ Mani

37

If you want to see Episode 1 of the new XJW documentary, "Belief," here are links

by AndersonsInfo in

jw
friends

belief: episode 1 - sacred ground.

belief: episode 2 trailer.

the video it looks better in full-screen version so click on "box" at right bottom.

augustOne

to leavingwt

Hi this is Mani - creator of "Belief." Thank you for bringing up a topic that has been concerning me a bit. First I'd like to say that like you I am a huge Beatles fan - so using their music for me was an expression of the things I really love - which was important for me in doing this work since it was very difficult in many ways (The end of "Cry Baby Cry" is tacked on to the end of Helter Skelter by the way - so its 3 songs - I'm a HUGE fan). It would be nice if that was enough to get professional musicians to back a project like mine - but I live in the real world so realize that is not the case.

I did not get permission to use the music. Since I created this to initially be shown at my university purely for educational purposes (I, or anyone else for that matter, will never make a cent off "Belief.") I didn't worry much at first. What I didn't anticipate was the response I have recieved to the project - which prompted me to put it online as a test - and again it is more well recieved than I ever aniticpated. This has shown me that I was more shortsighted than I realized when doing this.

For Episode 2 I already have been making arrangements with independent musicians to feature thier music for credit - which I prefere to do anyway. This includes my own recoreded music as well. I have sent out a request to musicians and artisits to help me replace the popular music in Episode 1 with music of equal quality and feeling. You can read my request at: http://vimeo.com/forums/topic:28524. If you know of anyone that would like to participate in this please spread the word.

I have bled a lot for this project. I feel it may be one of the most important things I do in my life. Based on the correspondence I receive on a daily basis - it is VERY needed. I would hate mistakes I made in underestimating its wide appeal to hold it from reaching its true potential - so welcome insights and warnings on how to avoid pitfalls and make this the quality it should be.

A critial part of expressing the emotion I feel is absolutely critical in telling our stories is the music, and other art forms included in "Belief." It is what has kept me going through my worst times. I am commited to bringing the best - the right way! Stay tuned for more information...

~ Mani