Well I mentioned power of attorney because someone in my family recently requested it for her children. Her husband isn't a witness, but he is emotionally unstable and she doesn't believe he can make rational decisions on the spot. I feel the same way about this guy, and it might be because he's young right now... he'll hopefully outgrow that, but I do like the idea of being careful. My own mom had power of attorney over me until I hit 21 and she took steps that would handle that should she pass away. So it's kind of a thing that runs in my family to prevent anything negative from happening with people that don't have best interest's at heart. And there is no way one of Jehovah's witnesses has the absolute best interests. If he's not as serious about it however, I don't think it'll be an issue. I plan on discussing it with him into the ground when I'm ready to make contact with him again, but I don't get the vibe that he would do that. He volunteer's for a daycare and takes care of special kids. While that doesn't exactly scream he would do the right thing in THIS case, it's hard to wrap my head around him not doing everything he can to save his own child.
herlovelyworld
JoinedPosts by herlovelyworld
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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herlovelyworld
I would love to view your introductory posts Nickolas, but I'm having trouble finding it. I clicked on your name and all I get is a page with Join date, Location, Post count etc. There's no external links to follow... on anyone's page for that matter.
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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herlovelyworld
Hi Phoebed! I would love to view your blog!
Also, I knew about the "headship" thing, but not to that extent. Are you saying that even though a husband beats on his wife constantly, unless there's any affair... he can't be divorced? Is there no amount of lawyers and court cases that could get someone out of that situation?
Could the same be said for the woman? As in, is it ever a possibility that a strong-willed non-witness woman refuses to take her husbands crap and stands up for herself, all the while knowing he has to deal with it because there's no adultry being committed?
I knew society in this cult has taken huge leaps backwards, but is there ever a concept of "partnership" among mates?
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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herlovelyworld
If I may ask, Breathing, why did you lose your faith in it?
I'm having trouble understanding how they can justify cutting people off and chastising them for their personal lives while claiming to be true Christian's. Maybe I just don't understand it, or maybe the church gave me values that are starting to surface more and more. Does it take some huge life-altering event to open your eyes to the injustice of it all? Trying to put myself in a similar situation, being lumped in with the family and realizing that I would lose them if I left, how do you pick up the courage to start thinking for yourself when the mind control has been strong for years?
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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herlovelyworld
I honestly do like the advice I'm getting. It's making loads of sense. And believe me, I'm taking it to heart and reconsidering things. Our relationship has already had a lot of ups and downs, and it might be better for everyone involved to cut our losses and move on. I do want to talk with him about it so he understands completely that I'm not leaving him BECAUSE of his religion, I would be leaving him because of the possibility for so much negativity in any future relationship/marriage. I can't live with the thought of my future children in desperate need of a blood transfusion and not being able to get that, I would indefinitely request power of attorney over any medical situations regarding our children. That's something that I can't compromise on. I understand why he believes he wouldn't be able to go along with that, but between the both of us, I have more common sense when it comes to being responsible, accepting responsibility, and using logic to make decisions. He has the idea of a cult, and I need to discuss with him my views on issues like that. If he's completely unable to realize the wrongdoing and negativity in the above scenario (children, blood, etc) then I think I can move on knowing I tried to help and just couldn't get through. There's a better chance that he will not be able to bend on issues such as that, and that's what I'm preparing myself for.
In regard to Steve2's post though... I love skinny red heads :3
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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herlovelyworld
I kinda chuckled at the thought of a thunder boom and witnesses everywhere hitting the deck.
In any case! Thank you so much for the advice and info. Lots to think about indeed! I really appreciate it.
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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herlovelyworld
Are there any statistics as to the percentage of people that leave, and then go back? I'm very curious as to how often that happens and how common it is.
Edit: Not sure if this is the right topic to ask this question ><
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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herlovelyworld
Lol, I appreciate the responses thus far! Also, I'm 21. I've been in numerous relationships, but this is the only one that's ever hit me hard. It's as if without the religion... our personality fits perfectly. This is usually the part where someone says "oh just 21? whole life is ahead of you, you'll find a normal man, you'll succeed with the fire of a thousand unicorns etc."
In response to falling in love with him before debt, pedophilia, or murder/rapist/animal killer whatever...
Just a slight bit unfair to compare those to the witnesses. All of the above (minus animal killer I think) is grounds for prison, or at least should be in every sense of the word (depending on how much debt is actually accumulated and how many times the court case gets avoided), being in a cult is just being under the control of an organization that doesn't allow for free thinking. Not exactly grounds for being locked up. It's definitely not "the most" Christian group of thinking, but it doesn't necessarily mean they play with babies, goats, passed out people, or shoot people at random.
It's not that he's ruining my life in the name of love, it's that I want to help him. My life isn't ruined in the slightest. We've discussed issues of compromise, which is why I'm so damn confused as to why he's a witness in the first place. He's met my parents, I *was* scheduled to meet his next week, until I put it off due to a different issue. Do we have issues with intimacy and communication? He's a 23 year old virgin who's never had a relationship. Of course we do. Doesn't exactly mean it's directly because of his religion.
If he's not committed to this, what's to say that we couldn't have a normal, healthy, relationship should he give it up for his own reasons?
Oh, and please understand I'm not arguing or being rude at all. I'm honestly here for opinions, no matter harsh. I'm a big girl, and a smart one at that.
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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herlovelyworld
Hi guys! I’m very new here and I need a little help.
I’m not a witness, but I know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness. The issue, other than the obvious, is that I fell in love with him BEFORE he told me he was one of Jehovah’s witnesses. The obvious solution would be to leave him, move on, try and find someone else etc. My issue with THAT is… I don’t believe he’s 100% about this religion/cult/ridiculous group. So I’d like to list a few things that he’s done (with me and without) that’s been hinting at why I feel this way, and get feedback as to whether or whether not I’m grasping at straws and holding out hope.
Firstly, I wholeheartedly believe he’s only in this religion because of his parents. He’s a skinny, socially challenged, red-headed boy of 23 who was raised IN the religious beliefs. He’s never been able to think for himself. So when I asked him “are you in this cult because you WANT to be, because you honestly believe it’s the truth?” I got hesitation and a subject change. His mom, dad, and older brother is literally all he has family wise. They are all witnesses. I believe he’s holding on to it so much because he would lose basically everything without them. Especially since he lives with them… and his dad’s an elder. The other day when talking to him, he mentioned that he was thinking about working towards being a MS. The way he worded it though? “My dad and CO were talking and putting some pressure on me at the convention.” Pressure. Another red flag that he’s not exactly truly in it. He has non-witness friends that he hangs out with everyday pretty much. He’s not cold when it comes to masturbation, porn, etc. When we met in August, we even got seriously intimate, we’re talking oral sex here… He listens to hardcore music, watches gore movies, occasionally misses a service meeting. Not to mention the fact that he’s dating me, and has openly discussed marriage with me. We discussed holidays and he’s said to me that a small part of him believes he would be okay giving me flowers on V-day, and letting me have a tree in the home come Christmas time. He doesn’t treat me less than an equal. He’s started treating me more like a partnership. He’s quoted a few scriptures and the watchtower a few times, but it constantly sounds like he’s reading from a script with no emotion and no love. His family has done a lot for him, and people from his Kingdom Hall helped out enormously when his eldest brother passed away in 06. He’s mentioned to me in passing that he has an obligation to those people. Does any or all of this sound like someone that’s 100% committed? I completely understand that by leaving the cult, he would have no family.
I don’t want to ASK him to leave, as I don’t want him to do it for me. I want him to realize how ridiculous it is. I thought about bringing all of this up with him, showing him this site and a few select articles (any particular article that would be good? He’s not exactly a reader, lol. I might have to read it TO him to get him to actually pay attention.) I want him to realize what he’s into by pointing out what I’ve noticed and the behavior he’s shown. Maybe even ask questions as to what a “partnership” means. I’m not sure and I’m very confused on the best way to go about this.
Does anyone have any experiences to a matter such as this? Wanting to discuss it with someone that’s possibly not completely committed? Any advice? It would be so much appreciated!