Interesting to see a variety of attitudes, in the responses to the question. Some responses are clearly based on a deep resentment of the JWs. The knowledgeable JWs, will, of course. when they meet that resentment, mentally counter the perceived anger, by recalling a biblical text such as Matthew 24:9, where Jesus is supposed to have said:
"Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers." (NLT)
or John 17:14, where Jesus is portrayed as praying to his heavenly father about his followers:
I have given them your word. And the world hates them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world.
Your words (if indicating hate) confirm their faith, so when ex-witnesses talk 'hate' they (JWs), recalling the words of Jesus, shut down their thought processes and recall only what Jesus said - been there, done that !!!!
I agree with the comments that in the main, conventional churches, no longer attempt to exercise too much control. Attempts to do so usually result (these days) in falling attendances. But historically, there's a different story. Perhaps the most infamous attempt to control was the religious inquisition of the Catholic church, and even if its true that the torture associated with that era was performed by the state, it was nonetheless instigated by the Church authorities. And the actual torturers, the individuals that delighted in causing other humans excruciating pain, were counted among the faithful of the church.
Even before Christianity was legalised by the Emperor Constantine, we can find instances of physical violence being used to 'control' belief. The most infamous acts of violence may have occurred during the well-known stoushes between the followers of Arius and Athanasius.
But the tendency may always have been there, think of the other famous stoush in early Christianity, the fight between Paul and the advocates of circumcision. Paul wishes that:
12 As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves! Galations 5:12.
The issue of circumcision was emotive in the Jewish society of the first century CE. In the wars of the Maccabees, circumcision had been an issue. The story as described in Maccabees is that even young Levites in the temple had become hellenised and were attending a gymnasium where they exercised naked. They stood out among the non-Jews by their circumcised state. In hellenic culture it was offensive to show the head of the penis, (the foreskin was often tied, so that it could not contract and uncover the penile glans) so the Jewish attenders started attempting to stretch their foreskins and hide their circumcision. In the civil war that followed both sides exercised great brutality. In the end the circumcisers won control again, and circumcision remained as a mark of a Jew.
During the first centuries of early Christianity the Roman state sought to counter it by using violence. When eventually a derivative of Christianity became the state religion the tables turned and the Christian Emperors used violence against those who wished to continue in more traditional forms of religion.
So my response to the question posed, is that that the difference is one of degree, not intent. All churches, in some way want to control.
If you need an example of 'control' by traditional churches, think of their attitude to those who have different sexuality.
But many of these churches are already, in response to popular opinion, changing their attitudes to homosexuality. The JWs stay rigidly opposed, not just on that issue, but on many other issues also, including the major issue of shunning. I doubt that this web-site would be so popular except for the shunning issue.
But the witnesses should remember that if you cant bend in the wind, you may eventually (when the wind gets stronger) break.