Posts by pbrow

I agree, being competitive is a natural thing. Yet again, instead of dubs using life as a teaching tool they just automatically put it in a negative light. Board games or sports are perfect avenues to teach our kids to be humble winners and to be gracious in defeat but dubs will just open up the school brochure and....yep, its bad cant do it.

pbrow

42

Im being disfellowshipped

by newcomer1982 in

i was supposed to go to a judical meeting on sat but i told the elders i wasnt going but they held it anyway.

its going to be announced that im going to be disfellowshipped at the weekend.

hate the fact my parents wont talk to me anymore.

pbrow

Congratulations!! What a great opportunity to show your family what true love is! I like and have used the suggestion personally to tell my family they are welcome at my home any time! Family dinner, sporting events whatever it is that you or your child do. I can certainly relate with losing contact w/ lifelong friends and family but beleive me, this is an opportunity. This is your opportunity to excercise your freedom in christ and this is the most important in my book, this will get your child out of the the witness bubble. To me that is more valuable than anything.

ps, if I could also recommend putting a d/a letter in. You are legally a member of their group. Get yourself out, write a letter! Do not let three men in the back of a kingdom hall think that they are going to df you.

Again, congratulations!

freedom in christ,

pbrow

8

Reaching Out to my ExJW Cousin

by fallen_princess in

i am sure many of us have had experiences while we were active jws where we were often discouraged from talking to worldy or disfellowshipped family members regardess of occasion or circumstance.

i was always told not to communicate with one of my cousins who, along with her husband had faded back in the 90's and are now off celebrating christmas, birthdays and such.

she has been the victim of many a snub and all out unkindness from various family members, including me.

pbrow

dont let fear stop you from anything, except for contacting non-dubs with your original facebook account...

Fallen, dont you hate the fear that you feel about contacting your relatives? I hated that negative feeling, like I was trapped. I had to be careful of who I talked to and be careful of what I said. Im of the opinion that you should just get it out. Make your mother shun you. Speaking from my experience, my mother does not shun me. I was a 30 year born in. It must be difficult to deal with a mother that tells you that she will get you df'd for talking to a family member. You said its terrible to think how she is treating her own sister but she is treating her own child even worse! Personally I wouldnt know how to accept that. Do you think your mother wants you to do it? It almost seems like its a dare.

You gotta do what you gotta do but I say contact her! Realizing the personal freedom you have is a liberating experience and it is completely worth anything you may lose by going against your mother/elders/organization. At the end of the day all we have is our personal freedom and if we dont excersise it then we only hurt ourselves.

pbrow

45

Am I on thin ice with my friend?

by cedars in

i'm a former mts graduate, and it's a long story but i recently became inactive after realising it was all nonsense.

the problem is, i've noticed that my mts background makes it almost impossible for people to accept my new status as an "inactive" one.

people think that, given the amount of knowledge i have, there is surely no excuse for me to reach this preposterous decision.. a friend from my mts recently began emailing me to find out my reasons.

pbrow

Bro, just gtfo! I understand the family angle, I have it too. My last two years that I was still technically in were miserrable. Having to give a second thought about the ramifications about a wordly girlfriend, if someone would see me enjoying a cigar or seeing my kids celebrate a birthday at a local restaraunt. Its all bs. The longer you play by "their" rules the longer this group continues to have a hold on you, the longer they have a hold on everyone. When I finally started putting up christmas decorations and just not giving a shit about "their" rules, I felt liberated. Like the previous poster said, no one is ready until they are ready. By being up front and honest, to this elder or anyone else, you will at least get your thoughts out to him and thats all you can hope for when getting out of a mind controlled group. We all need to stop playing by their rules!

pbrow

19

For those of you who are disfellowshipped!

by TimothyT in

how do you respond when you walk past a jw or bump into a close jw friend who broke of contact with you?.

i remember when one brother was disfellowshipped, he himself honoured the arrangement and walked past the brothers with his eyes fixed to the floor.. im going to be disfellowshipped in 8 days, so i just thought id ask you all.. personaly, im going to be kind and cheery as i always tried to be with people.. timmy xxx.

pbrow

Hey dork,

I agree with you. Hats off to timothy. I was so... asleep at that age. I hear different stories of kids as young as 14 who just said "screw this" I envy the strength they had/have at that age. I cannot imagine the struggle that you have to go through as a gay witness kid. That has to be tough. Not only are you struggling with all of the "normal" teenage things but then on top of it, who you are is not ok. You can only hope these asshats get there acts together and realize that we are not to do the judging! Love god, love your neighber as yourself. Jesus put it very plainly. You cant get more simple than that.

freedom in christ,

pbrow

11

Interesting WT statement

by youngbro in

wt june 15, 2011, page 12, paragraph 5:.

in regard to adam and eve:.

"god gave them but one limiting directive...".

pbrow

Are we not talking about the fictional part of the bible here?

They could have had fictional anal sex maybe even fictional oral sex.....oooohhh!!

pbrow

19

For those of you who are disfellowshipped!

by TimothyT in

how do you respond when you walk past a jw or bump into a close jw friend who broke of contact with you?.

i remember when one brother was disfellowshipped, he himself honoured the arrangement and walked past the brothers with his eyes fixed to the floor.. im going to be disfellowshipped in 8 days, so i just thought id ask you all.. personaly, im going to be kind and cheery as i always tried to be with people.. timmy xxx.

pbrow

I have been out for a year now and all the dubs keep their eyes to the floor when they pass me. I treat them no different. They simply look guilty when they pass me by. They cant even keep their chin up. They look to the floor because deep down they are ashamed.

Do not honour the arrangement bro!! Dont play by the rules that they set up. Be a Christian(if thats your thing) and be friendly any time you pass one by. In fact I would say get a letter of dissasociation in before they df announcement happens. Screw their back room trial of you. Severing ties YOURSELF from an organization that you in fact did join, is the only way to get out in my opinion.

Good luck on whatever you decide.

pbrow

44

Preventing a minor child from being baptized if you are their parent

by RayPublisher in

there may be no way legally for me to stop this, but it is a worry since i "woke up" to the truth about the truth a couple years ago.. now my young kids (9 and 11) are heading in that direction at the urging of their mother.

i am still inside and trying to do a fade (for family/friend reasons) but sometimes i wonder if leaving would be smarter in the long run for them.

any thoughts or strategies are welcome.. .

pbrow

Ray,

I am divorced from my childrens JW mother. So I realize we are in different places. I am not saying that you need to go full on apostate. Certainly go slow with the big days like christmas and easter if you feel you need to. I am talking at least about sports, school related activities and other non religious days. You would not believe the power that comes from your kids minds being opened while participating in these activities. They see these "worldy" kids in a different light when they get to participate in sports. These "worldy" kids are normal! We even had an end of the world party for campings prediction with cake and signs and a bonfire. We used it as time to tell kids about the facts, that dubs have predicted the same and how crazy it is for anyone to make those predictions. The more you DO to show them that the dubs are effed up, the more it will sink in.

I am under the impression that you can celebrate birthdays and not get df'd. You can tell your kids that birthdays are not about peoples heads getting cut off and making yourself more important than god, but actually allowing them to have a birthday party SHOWS them that the jdub reasons are full of shit! In my mind, I can think of few things that are more important than my kids NOT becoming jw's. Whether or not someone labels me as apostate is certainly not more important than that. Again, I am not with my childrens mother so it is different, but dont you have a say in them being able to participate in things? Will it raise some eyebrows? Of course it will but what is the ultimate goal? Take your lumps for going out of the "norm" but Im telling you bro, it will work wonders for the end goal of getting those kids the fukc out of this group!

My oldest just said the other day "I dont care what anyone says, I am always going to celebrate christmas and my birthday" She would not be able to say that if I had just limped out and played it safe not trying to ruffle any feathers. She also says "bless you" after someone sneezes without a second thought (only an exwitness knows what im talking about here)

Good luck, there are a lot of good suggestions here. You will do the best for you and your family.

pbrow