Posts by pbrow

8

Reaching Out to my ExJW Cousin

by fallen_princess in

i am sure many of us have had experiences while we were active jws where we were often discouraged from talking to worldy or disfellowshipped family members regardess of occasion or circumstance.

i was always told not to communicate with one of my cousins who, along with her husband had faded back in the 90's and are now off celebrating christmas, birthdays and such.

she has been the victim of many a snub and all out unkindness from various family members, including me.

pbrow

dont let fear stop you from anything, except for contacting non-dubs with your original facebook account...

Fallen, dont you hate the fear that you feel about contacting your relatives? I hated that negative feeling, like I was trapped. I had to be careful of who I talked to and be careful of what I said. Im of the opinion that you should just get it out. Make your mother shun you. Speaking from my experience, my mother does not shun me. I was a 30 year born in. It must be difficult to deal with a mother that tells you that she will get you df'd for talking to a family member. You said its terrible to think how she is treating her own sister but she is treating her own child even worse! Personally I wouldnt know how to accept that. Do you think your mother wants you to do it? It almost seems like its a dare.

You gotta do what you gotta do but I say contact her! Realizing the personal freedom you have is a liberating experience and it is completely worth anything you may lose by going against your mother/elders/organization. At the end of the day all we have is our personal freedom and if we dont excersise it then we only hurt ourselves.

pbrow

45

Am I on thin ice with my friend?

by cedars in

i'm a former mts graduate, and it's a long story but i recently became inactive after realising it was all nonsense.

the problem is, i've noticed that my mts background makes it almost impossible for people to accept my new status as an "inactive" one.

people think that, given the amount of knowledge i have, there is surely no excuse for me to reach this preposterous decision.. a friend from my mts recently began emailing me to find out my reasons.

pbrow

Bro, just gtfo! I understand the family angle, I have it too. My last two years that I was still technically in were miserrable. Having to give a second thought about the ramifications about a wordly girlfriend, if someone would see me enjoying a cigar or seeing my kids celebrate a birthday at a local restaraunt. Its all bs. The longer you play by "their" rules the longer this group continues to have a hold on you, the longer they have a hold on everyone. When I finally started putting up christmas decorations and just not giving a shit about "their" rules, I felt liberated. Like the previous poster said, no one is ready until they are ready. By being up front and honest, to this elder or anyone else, you will at least get your thoughts out to him and thats all you can hope for when getting out of a mind controlled group. We all need to stop playing by their rules!

pbrow

19

For those of you who are disfellowshipped!

by TimothyT in

how do you respond when you walk past a jw or bump into a close jw friend who broke of contact with you?.

i remember when one brother was disfellowshipped, he himself honoured the arrangement and walked past the brothers with his eyes fixed to the floor.. im going to be disfellowshipped in 8 days, so i just thought id ask you all.. personaly, im going to be kind and cheery as i always tried to be with people.. timmy xxx.

pbrow

Hey dork,

I agree with you. Hats off to timothy. I was so... asleep at that age. I hear different stories of kids as young as 14 who just said "screw this" I envy the strength they had/have at that age. I cannot imagine the struggle that you have to go through as a gay witness kid. That has to be tough. Not only are you struggling with all of the "normal" teenage things but then on top of it, who you are is not ok. You can only hope these asshats get there acts together and realize that we are not to do the judging! Love god, love your neighber as yourself. Jesus put it very plainly. You cant get more simple than that.

freedom in christ,

pbrow

11

Interesting WT statement

by youngbro in

wt june 15, 2011, page 12, paragraph 5:.

in regard to adam and eve:.

"god gave them but one limiting directive...".

pbrow

Are we not talking about the fictional part of the bible here?

They could have had fictional anal sex maybe even fictional oral sex.....oooohhh!!

pbrow

19

For those of you who are disfellowshipped!

by TimothyT in

how do you respond when you walk past a jw or bump into a close jw friend who broke of contact with you?.

i remember when one brother was disfellowshipped, he himself honoured the arrangement and walked past the brothers with his eyes fixed to the floor.. im going to be disfellowshipped in 8 days, so i just thought id ask you all.. personaly, im going to be kind and cheery as i always tried to be with people.. timmy xxx.

pbrow

I have been out for a year now and all the dubs keep their eyes to the floor when they pass me. I treat them no different. They simply look guilty when they pass me by. They cant even keep their chin up. They look to the floor because deep down they are ashamed.

Do not honour the arrangement bro!! Dont play by the rules that they set up. Be a Christian(if thats your thing) and be friendly any time you pass one by. In fact I would say get a letter of dissasociation in before they df announcement happens. Screw their back room trial of you. Severing ties YOURSELF from an organization that you in fact did join, is the only way to get out in my opinion.

Good luck on whatever you decide.

pbrow

44

Preventing a minor child from being baptized if you are their parent

by RayPublisher in

there may be no way legally for me to stop this, but it is a worry since i "woke up" to the truth about the truth a couple years ago.. now my young kids (9 and 11) are heading in that direction at the urging of their mother.

i am still inside and trying to do a fade (for family/friend reasons) but sometimes i wonder if leaving would be smarter in the long run for them.

any thoughts or strategies are welcome.. .

pbrow

Ray,

I am divorced from my childrens JW mother. So I realize we are in different places. I am not saying that you need to go full on apostate. Certainly go slow with the big days like christmas and easter if you feel you need to. I am talking at least about sports, school related activities and other non religious days. You would not believe the power that comes from your kids minds being opened while participating in these activities. They see these "worldy" kids in a different light when they get to participate in sports. These "worldy" kids are normal! We even had an end of the world party for campings prediction with cake and signs and a bonfire. We used it as time to tell kids about the facts, that dubs have predicted the same and how crazy it is for anyone to make those predictions. The more you DO to show them that the dubs are effed up, the more it will sink in.

I am under the impression that you can celebrate birthdays and not get df'd. You can tell your kids that birthdays are not about peoples heads getting cut off and making yourself more important than god, but actually allowing them to have a birthday party SHOWS them that the jdub reasons are full of shit! In my mind, I can think of few things that are more important than my kids NOT becoming jw's. Whether or not someone labels me as apostate is certainly not more important than that. Again, I am not with my childrens mother so it is different, but dont you have a say in them being able to participate in things? Will it raise some eyebrows? Of course it will but what is the ultimate goal? Take your lumps for going out of the "norm" but Im telling you bro, it will work wonders for the end goal of getting those kids the fukc out of this group!

My oldest just said the other day "I dont care what anyone says, I am always going to celebrate christmas and my birthday" She would not be able to say that if I had just limped out and played it safe not trying to ruffle any feathers. She also says "bless you" after someone sneezes without a second thought (only an exwitness knows what im talking about here)

Good luck, there are a lot of good suggestions here. You will do the best for you and your family.

pbrow

44

Preventing a minor child from being baptized if you are their parent

by RayPublisher in

there may be no way legally for me to stop this, but it is a worry since i "woke up" to the truth about the truth a couple years ago.. now my young kids (9 and 11) are heading in that direction at the urging of their mother.

i am still inside and trying to do a fade (for family/friend reasons) but sometimes i wonder if leaving would be smarter in the long run for them.

any thoughts or strategies are welcome.. .

pbrow

Ray, do you think the elders would go behind your back if you straight up told them they cannot baptize your children until they are 18? I would definately tell them. I seem to remember a recent experience in the watchtower or yearbook about a young girl waiting to get baptized because her unbelieving father wanted her to get an education first and that was respected by the elders.

Man, if your wife and the body of elders would do that than I would say it is even more imperative that you speed things up. Every day that the witnesses way of life is "normal" the more damage is being done.

Good luck

pbrow

44

Preventing a minor child from being baptized if you are their parent

by RayPublisher in

there may be no way legally for me to stop this, but it is a worry since i "woke up" to the truth about the truth a couple years ago.. now my young kids (9 and 11) are heading in that direction at the urging of their mother.

i am still inside and trying to do a fade (for family/friend reasons) but sometimes i wonder if leaving would be smarter in the long run for them.

any thoughts or strategies are welcome.. .

pbrow

Thanks for the insight. I didnt realize my opinion was wrong bro! It is working for me but I am not in the exact same situation. Just throwing my perspective out there. Ray, you dont NEED to put a letter in, but let the kids get involved. Play sports, celebrate birthdays, sleepovers. Your the dad right?? Do you have no power in these areas? If thats the case then there are other issues involved. I wish you the best Ray, get the kids out whatever way you see possible. It seems to me the longer you wait for your "wife to get inline" which may take awhile, your children are being immersed in the JW culture. They are almost dripping wet with it already.

as a side note, Jwfacts... thank you for everything you have done bro, you are lifesaver. Thank you!

pbrow

44

Preventing a minor child from being baptized if you are their parent

by RayPublisher in

there may be no way legally for me to stop this, but it is a worry since i "woke up" to the truth about the truth a couple years ago.. now my young kids (9 and 11) are heading in that direction at the urging of their mother.

i am still inside and trying to do a fade (for family/friend reasons) but sometimes i wonder if leaving would be smarter in the long run for them.

any thoughts or strategies are welcome.. .

pbrow

Nathan, I dont see how he could be more benificial to them by staying in. Give the kids a chance to be involved in a normal childhood and they will not choose the dubs. A huge weapon in the indoctrination process is sheltering them from the other side of things. SHOW THEM THE OTHER SIDE!! Ray, get out. Have a birthday party with them and maybe a few kids from school. When the dub friends find out and start to move away from hanging with your kids explain this to them!! Tell them that the jw kids are not allowed to play with them because.... you dont agree with everything they do. That is showing your kids what a croc these people stand for. You are the father. You live with them. Take the bull by the horns! Your kids are more important than any other reason or person to "stay in" for. By staying in and pretending for the next 2, 3, 4 or 5 years you are just allowing the mindset to creep in.

GTFO for your kids!!

pbrow

44

Preventing a minor child from being baptized if you are their parent

by RayPublisher in

there may be no way legally for me to stop this, but it is a worry since i "woke up" to the truth about the truth a couple years ago.. now my young kids (9 and 11) are heading in that direction at the urging of their mother.

i am still inside and trying to do a fade (for family/friend reasons) but sometimes i wonder if leaving would be smarter in the long run for them.

any thoughts or strategies are welcome.. .

pbrow

I take it from the comments that you are still with the mother.

I think its go time. You need to make a clean open break with the religion. Ask yourself, do you want your kids contemplating this same scenario when they are older? Do you want them to regret being taught a lie for 20 years and then having an epiphany at 20, 30, 40 or even later?? Hell no!! You cant teach your kids to think critically by reading a book and then live a lie. You need to step up for the kids sake. I am not saying its easy, but what is the alternative?? I look back and ask "how did my mom teach me this bs?" They are only kids once, give them the chance to play a sport, be on the debate team or whatever else they are into and just be a normal kid!!

Fading is living a lie. That is not judgemental . I know some faders and I know why they are doing it. But one of the reasons I woke up is because of the thought of having to explain to my kids some effed up things that do not make sense to me. They will learn above all else by what you DO, not what you say.

I feel for you bro, not an easy decision for you.

pbrow