Terry,
What you have gone through is very "par for the course" (golf term) LOL!
I think just getting out of the hospital has serious repercussions for anyone, let alone an exjdub.
Think of this way...go back 20 years and think if you'd feel that way. Proven "Conditional love" has it's harm toward all of us, the best thing is to counteract with UNconditional love, seek it , find it, and hold it.
Often we can get it where we are not even looking for it.
If you want to talk more, PM me,
Get well and yes they say " this too will pass"
DG