Lars_Ulrich

Joined

• started 2 topics
• posted 5 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Lars_Ulrich

• 
  11

  Have the elders lost it?

  by Lars_Ulrich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all is not well with the wts.

  the elders are arrogant jerks, the gb has lost its grasp of reality, and the congregation publishers are right out of the stepford wives.. on the other hand, the big bad internet has arrived as our technological savior.

  the free flow of information is the truth that sets us free.. everything we could possibly want to know is there.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lars_Ulrich

  Let me get this straight- when you came in the Truth, you left worldly friends and relatives behind, disregarding their opinions.
  Now that you’ve been in the Truth and don’t believe anymore, you’re afraid to walk away because of friends and relatives.
  So you will go to your grave knowing that you have lived a lie.
  That is a sad, pathetic commentary and you require much more help than the weak-minded sycophants on this board can give you.
• 
  22

  Rules and Regulations

  by Simon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok, it seems like we need to start setting up some rules and regulations as 'common sense' doesn;t seem to work for everyone.. rule 1. no personal attacks / insults.

  feel free to submit any rules (or guidelines) that you think would help.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lars_Ulrich

  Yeah right.
  An obvious provocateur posts a question about “apostolic succession” (a term I doubt a single poster on this board has ever seen or even heard of applied to Charles Russell) and instead of ignoring him, the group swallow the bait like hungry trout and give him 30 politically correct replies.
  Maybe his next topic will convince us that Jesus is really God after all.
  Then somebody says, “I took my dog to the vet and felt closer to God than if I had gone out in service.”
  That’s a fascinating revelation, but it belongs at the Watchtower Observer, not on a board that purports to be for Jehovah’s Witnesses.
  I particularly enjoy the underlying thread of pity expressed for all the poor Witnesses who actually receive some joy from the meetings and still believe the Truth as taught by the WTS.
  I guess some of us were unlucky enough to be born without the “nagging doubt” gene.
  Love the way everyone’s agenda is designed to make our lives easier.
  According to the board, Jehovah’s Witnesses ver.1.01 would look this way:
  Blood transfusions- ok
  No disfellowshipping
  No field service
  No literature to read
  One short meeting a week

  One night I took all the posts and ran them through a little program I wrote that extracts the predominant theme.
  It came up with “How I was screwed over by the WTS “

  Tell me again I haven’t entered the “Twilight Zone”.
• 
  11

  Have the elders lost it?

  by Lars_Ulrich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all is not well with the wts.

  the elders are arrogant jerks, the gb has lost its grasp of reality, and the congregation publishers are right out of the stepford wives.. on the other hand, the big bad internet has arrived as our technological savior.

  the free flow of information is the truth that sets us free.. everything we could possibly want to know is there.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lars_Ulrich

  All is not well with the WTS. The elders are arrogant jerks, the GB has lost its grasp of reality, and the congregation publishers are right out of the “Stepford Wives”.
  On the other hand, the big bad Internet has arrived as our technological savior. The free flow of information is the “truth that sets us free”.
  Everything we could possibly want to know is there. (Mulder voiceover: “The truth is out there”.)
  So here’s what I propose:
  Somebody do a search on the Web for “True Religion”. Once you find it, tell the rest of us so we don’t have to waste any more time pissing and moaning about how the WTS has ruined our lives.
  Then we can all do what most rational people do when they find themselves in an unpleasant situation:
  Just walk away,
  (“What About Bob” voiceover: “Baby steps, baby steps”)
  and try something new.
  Of course, in a week or so, we'll all have to find a new “true religion”, because, well…
  We LIKE to piss and moan.

  (“Meet the new boss
  Same as the old boss"
  The Who “Won’t Get Fooled Again”)
• 
  14

  I want to play too

  by Lars_Ulrich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just want to say how much i appreciate this site.

  im addicted- i just cant help coming back every day.. ive been telling all my friends- this is the spinal tap of witness sites, the monty python for brothers.

  so who are you guys really, bethelites preparing for the annual talent show, or do you actually work with the writing committee?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lars_Ulrich

  This is getting good. Another stock character makes an appearance. The closet “free thinker” who knows a couple of JW terms and parrots shopworn phrases from W.J. Schnell’s great work of fiction “30 Years a Watchtower Slave”
  At least get your prejudicial quotes correct. What he said was: “I gave the best years of his life to 'the most totalitarian organization which was ever spawned in liberty-loving America and upon our freedom-loving soil' “
  Here, you’ll like this one. I think it holds a lot of appeal to every self-hating manic-depressive: He was, he says, 'imprisoned in the tightest organization on earth'
  Feel free to use that in your next creative post.
  In the meantime, perhaps you could break out of the cliché ridden apostate characterization (don’t get me wrong, it’s great as far as it goes) and extend your range a little by actually suggesting some positive non-brainwashing organization where poor robotic JW’s can go for upbuilding association after they’ve been deprogrammed.
  Sort of reminds me of all those pathetic first century Christians who chose to be lion food instead of dropping a pinch of incense on the fire acknowledging the divinity of the emperor. I guess they “gave their will to another entity”.
  Yeah, that’s a good one- actually dying for your beliefs. Too bad the Internet wasn’t around to teach them the error of their ways before it was too late.
• 
  14

  I want to play too

  by Lars_Ulrich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just want to say how much i appreciate this site.

  im addicted- i just cant help coming back every day.. ive been telling all my friends- this is the spinal tap of witness sites, the monty python for brothers.

  so who are you guys really, bethelites preparing for the annual talent show, or do you actually work with the writing committee?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lars_Ulrich

  Hi All,
  Just want to say how much I appreciate this site. I’m addicted- I just can’t help coming back every day.
  I’ve been telling all my friends- this is the Spinal Tap of Witness sites, the Monty Python for brothers. So who are you guys really, Bethelites preparing for the annual talent show, or do you actually work with the writing committee?
  I know that “Monty Python & the Holy Grail” is like the #1 movie at Bethel, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you would do your own unique version, tailored for the brothers.
  I love the cast you’ve created- the dysfunctional chick who’s perpetually involved with losers and now it turns out she speaks in tongues but still goes to one meeting a week “just in case”.
  I bet it turns out her last boyfriend said “gimme some tongue” and got more than he bargained for. LOL
  The ethnic touch with the inactive Cajun elder is cool too. I picture him talking like Inspector Clouseau, sitting on the porch of his shack out on the bayou, eating mudbugs and playing Clifton Chenier on the accordion. I bet he and the tongue girl get together later.
  There’s just the right touch of paranoia too. I love the posts that say, “let’s not post our pictures cause the elders might be watching.”
  If they are, then they’re ROTFL just like I am. I wouldn’t be surprised if the GB read it as well, just to brighten their day.
  The suggestions are hilarious, especially the one about paying the elders and exempting them from field service. I’m a sucker for great parody, and you guys are masters of the genre.
  It’s like an alternative universe stuck in the 50’s when people actually believed the mantra that “blood saves lives”. Just the right touch of grimness for the 21st century when the use of blood in surgery is going the way of the leech.
  The posts about “I think Jehovah accepts you as you are” have just the right touch of the ludicrous- a clever parody of Christendom where they gladly accept practicing homosexuals and pedophiles.
  (“Yeah, that’s the ticket”- Jon Lovitz voiceover)
  I bet you’re wondering what gave it away. I admit, it did catch me off guard a bit at first, until I realized this was an ensemble cast doing an elaborate put-on. Here’s what you might want to change:
  The posts about people coming to meetings and sitting there bored or doing other things just doesn’t ring true. I won’t even sit in front of the TV watching a boring show, much less get dressed up and go somewhere to be bored. The reality is that those people just wouldn’t come at all.
  Also the part about how people just come and pretend. I don’t think so. Real witnesses would just walk away. For one, we have to take too much crap (ridicule from workmates, schoolmates, flag salute, holidays etc.) that it takes too much effort to be a witness to just fake it. The reality is that nobody gets disfellowshipped for walking away. You just don’t go to meetings for a while, and maybe the elders will come by once, and you just say you haven’t been feeling well or you’ve had to work a lot of overtime, and they leave you alone.
  There’s a reason the Gestapo couldn’t break us: True witnesses have an extremely strong will, and it’s very difficult to force them to do something they don’t want to do. I think very few would be hypocritical enough to fake it if they had “nagging doubts”.
  Life’s too short, they would just walk away and get on with something new and different. There’s no real penalty, and if you see a brother at the Mall you can still speak to him just like old times.
  But that’s a minor gripe of what is overall a great production. The air of self-delusion is a stroke of genius. A group of covert “reformers” who think they can really change things when they can’t even agree on the changes. It’s like 10 people saying “I won’t pay taxes so the IRS will just have to change.” The idea that the WTS might actually be frightened of a pathetic group of dysfunctional witnesses airing out their grievances on the Internet is hilarious.
  Forget TV, this is the REAL X-Files. (“They’re out there”)
  But enough praise. Here’s the real reason for the post.
  I want to play too.
  How about if I’m the pioneer who’s having an affair with an elder’s wife. It’s not a disfellowshipping offense because a secret letter has been received stating that if an elder has three or more committee meetings a week, his wife can look for attention elsewhere. My screen name could be Fulltime_Molester.
  Give me some feedback. If you don’t like that one, I have some others that maybe I’ll just throw on the forum and see where it leads.
  Once again guys, my hat’s off to you.
  This is great stuff.