There was an article that basically said you didn't have to confess to them - but that it was recommended and of course you will do what they say since they are anointed (although they reserve the right to change their mind about anything. - they're imperfect after all) but not inspired.
Posts by bafh
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17Must the Elders Always be Told?
by snugglebunny ini recall that some years ago the wt stated that not all offences need to be reported to the elders, but that confessing serious sins to another person who was not an elder could suffice.
the article stated that this did not include sexual offences and that these must be reported to the elders.. can anyone throw any light on this please?.
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[REPOST] Memorial Non-Attendance: The Single Most Impactful TTATT Witness to Family and Friends
by AMNESIANO in(originally posted march, 2014)anyone who has awakened to ttatt and has conscientiously left the organization--especially a once-prominent, highly-regarded, studious believer from a prominent multi-generational tribe of jws-- after decades of devout, high-profile "serve-us," who continues to put in an annual appearance at the memorial thoroughly subverts and undermines, by this one act, any hope s/he may entertain that his/her departure will stir family or former friends to question the whole watchtower bamboozle.
by this one concession s/he assigns him-/herself by every single jw to their handy and dimissive purgatory: the "spiritually-weak.".
nothing blasts a louder, clearer, and more deliberate message to the jws who personally knew you and those familiar with your jw bona fides that you are not merely "not making the meetings," "inactive," or "spiritually-weak," but that there is a conscientious reason you have rejected the entire watchtower society life than choosing to forego what they know you once believed to be jehovah's must-attend, one-and-only, holy/sacred event of the year for his people, the lord's evening meal.. you hand them the very justification they so relish to self-righteously label you as a "submarine witness" deserving of jehovah's, and more importantly, their judgement.
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bafh
I agree - in that it is the last remnant by which a person signals their detachment from the WT.
That is exactly why I go. Not going may lead people to think I'm "dangerous" to their spirituality (which I'm not). So for me, it is an hour out of my life that keeps my relationship with people I care about intact.
I don't put any energy into worrying about what people think about me when I go. I go because it makes my life easier.
And I find that being respectful of other people's beliefs works too. Isn't that what we want - to be respected? Then it is my opinion that we must respect them to be respected.
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bafh
I went to the link on JW- Talk - boy, they are quick to jump on the victim and not the perp. And no mention that Conti was going to let it go until it was found out that he went to jail for molesting another child because the fact that he was a molester was not public information inside the congregation.
To me - that is one of the biggest issues - that the information that someone was a molester is not shared in any way with the congregation and that people are encouraged to trust each other.
The other big issue is that they don't feel any ordinary obligation to report it to the police but only do so if required by state law - even then I'm not sure they do - don't these men have any conscience?
On top of all that - keep them dumb and uneducated so they can't determine for themselves the real issues. 😥
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Fading and not "outing" yourself, what are your thoughts on it?
by Brock Talon infading and not "outing" yourself.. what are your thoughts on it?.
i ask, because i just received a scathing personal message on facebook from a person who read my latest book and in it i describe myself as a fader.
i was not dfd and i did not da myself.
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bafh
There is a difference between being honest and being private. Fading doesn't make you dishonest. That's called being *ahem* discreet *ahem about a private matter. JWs have no personal boundaries since they've been trained out of them so they view being private as hiding something.
As for the person calling you names on FB, I would delete them off the page for inappropriate behavior If they did that to one of the other commenters on the page, isn't that what you would do? Certainly you deserve the same respect
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I've been invited to go on a habitat for humanity build
by hoser ini've been invited to go to central america for a week on a global village project.
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are there any possible issues that the congregation might have with me doing this?.
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bafh
Do it and don't tell anyone. It's none of their business. -
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What exactly is encouragement?
by naazira inwhen elders want to meet with an inactive person to encourage them, what does this really mean?
encouragement is a term thrown around by the organisation.
does this encouragement usually consist of prying into the inactive one's lifestyle?.
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bafh
It is also a euphemism for "what have you done wrong?" or "are you dangerous or just weak?" - if you have to choose you probably already know choose to be seen as weak rather than dangerous. They tolerate "weakness" in others because it makes them feel strong and if they don't sense that you are there to undermine anyone's faith then they just pity you - which they also get great joy from.
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If this isn't the truth, then what is our hope?
by Gigi2121 ini'm new here but not new to researching and questioning the jw beliefs.
i have quite a story.... one that's been haunting me for awhile... but first, i'd like to hear what people have to say about this topic question, please.. -gigi.
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bafh
Your only hope is being present. Looking to the future for something "better" pulls a person out of experiencing their life right now - the good and the bad. Without being grounded and present, it is easier to be reactive than proactive and that leaves few if any choices in how your life turns out.
So believe in yourself and you won't need to "Hope" for something else.
And just in case you are still wondering:
NO ONE IS COMING TO HELP!
bafh. :-)
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A sensible fix for the Jehovah's Witness "two witness rule" when dealing with child sex abuse
by Watchtower-Free injehovah's witnesses could retain their two witness rule for internal judicial.
congregation matters .
but in the case of a child abuse allegation they should .
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bafh
I don't understand how they don't report child abuse when in many states clergy are considered mandatory reporters. I think this is considered a legal exception to the clergy privilege they claim to follow.
Funny how they are "not clergy" in every other aspect, and they suddenly are "clergy" when it comes to this.
It is just disgusting. What bothers me more is that they seem unphased by what is happening to the children. Ashe's testimony was sort of, "it's not our problem. we provide spiritual protection, not physical." So does not follow Christ's example. Why did Jesus feed people physical food before the spiritual food? It is not one or the other, it is both - even the Catholics know that.
UGH.
BAFH
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National Public Radio (NPR) broadcasts today about JWs. Do you want to hear the secrets of what this religion has been keeping under wraps?
by AndersonsInfo into all those who frequent this discussion board:.
we just wanted you to know that an investigative public radio program named reveal, produced by cir (center for investigative reporting) and prx, will present today, saturday, february 14th, the results of new investigations uncovering hidden stories.
in this weeks story, there will be three different topics covered.
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bafh
So disgusting. They just use circular reasoning to justify their protection of predators. Ugh. -
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Need advice on a comeback to my wife: when she is in cult mode she says faith without works is dead.
by goingthruthemotions inso i have gotten into arguements with my wife in the past about this cult.
now a days after reading steve hassan books...i just try and avoid anything jdub with her.
try to keep her in authentic mode..(not sure she really has one).
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bafh
The issue is not that works and faith are unrelated - they are. I think it is what most rational people would say is having integrity - practice what you preach, etc. We all know people who tout different values but who are inauthentic or even hippocritical because their actions do not match their words.
I think the issue is that JWs have a narrow definition of "works" and that they rank them on a completely made up and unofficial scale of spirituality. So while we have a wide variety of works demonstrated by Jesus - JWs only count a fraction of those as being worthy of replication. [i.e preaching and helping the poor in the congregation if they are "worthy"] If one chooses to express their spirituality by serving a larger population of poor or needy in some way (i.e Mother Theresa) it does not count because it is not "preaching" their current doctrine. Of course none of us are able to heal in the way Christ did - but there is healing that we can each contribute to others that demonstrates love on a much more fundamental level than even preaching - listening, encouraging, supporting, etc.
What I find interesting is that Jesus wove the meeting of the crowd's physical needs with their spiritual needs and he prioritized them: physical, then spiritual. In modern times, we may be familiar with Mazlow's heirarchy of needs. On the bottom are physical needs: sleep, food, safety, etc. Only when these fundamental needs are met are people able to think about the "higher" needs of spirituality.
As an organization, JWs biggest weakness is their black and white thinking and their limited acceptance of what "counts". Of course there is also all of the unwritten judgement that people do as they rate each other on how spiritual they are - and all of it - as far as i have experienced - is how well a person fits into the social hierarchy. And how well one fits into that social structure is based on what the congregation can observe - and it encourages a works for show type of atmosphere, a need to be visible.
I happen to be a successful single business woman who is open to marriage but not pining for a man. I am completely self supporting; live alone; have time and money to travel and am educated with a wide variety of interests. If I ever lost my mind and went back for some reason, there is no way I would pioneer. There isn't a slot for me in the congregation.
When I left, I was having panic attacks every time I walked into the building. Now that I only attend for weddings, funerals and the Memorial - I am MUCH happier, and able to be myself. I actually feel like a more spiritual person because I am able to express my reflection of love, acceptance, support, etc in ways that are appropriate to situations I find myself in. These for the most part are not observable to anyone else, and would not count in any way within the congregation.
ok, that was a long rant. I guess my short answer is to agree with your wife, and then ask what her definition of "works" is. And what types of things count. If she can broaden that definition, it will be helpful because it will open the way for her to be more open minded on other issues.