Posts by itscrap&theyknowit!

43

For those that are and have been married,did the JW lifestyle aggravate "typical" marital and family problems?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's congregation bible study which focuses on the responsibilities of christian parents, and husbands.

i also ask this in harmony with itscrap&theyknowit's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way.

i linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/why-i-eventually-left.

itscrap&theyknowit!

Everyone came first over me. We never had dinner together as we lived 30 minutes from the hall and we were so tight on money that I had to make lunch and dinner and after all day in service we went back to hall and stayed there while he studied for the meetings. He was the school overseer, WT conductor, secretory, service overseer. All the friends dumped on him all the time and their problems and needs came frist in our marriage.

I would answer the phone and be yelled if he was not home. One of the MS's wife got supper mad at me because we did not have the money for a phone the first couple of months of our marriage. She was beyond livid at me and asked me how stupid was I being an elders wife without a phone so my husband could take care of his elder duties. I was so hurt and blown away by her anger at me that I just starred at her not believing she wanted me to really answer her. She demanded to know again how STUPID was I. When I told her I guess I was really stupid as she clearly was not going to go away until I answered her, she said YES YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!! Oh she was pissed at me.

When I told my husband he said he could not believe me. He said no JW would ever speak to anyone like that I must have made it all up.

@LIFEISTOOSHORT - I hurt for you!!!! I have been there. Are you divorced? My husband has done the same to me. I would NEVER question ANYONE in the organization as everything was PURE!!!! Always turned the other cheek. Hell!!! I kept it turned as the y continually slapped the sh** out of me (not physically). They may as well had! My stomach stayed in knots because HE WOULD NEVER PROTECT ME!!!!! I was a grown woman and my Mom and younger sister had to visit my congregation plenty of times to 'check up on me'. The sisters were very jealous and envious. There were times it was horrible. But, my spineless husband would chastise me, not them.

And baaaaabyyyy!!!!! I grew a spine and some thick skin! They started calling me crazy when I got to the point of 'talking back'. The organization, not the world, turned me into a 'pottymouth'. I had NO problem putting sister...and brothers...in their places now!

43

For those that are and have been married,did the JW lifestyle aggravate "typical" marital and family problems?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's congregation bible study which focuses on the responsibilities of christian parents, and husbands.

i also ask this in harmony with itscrap&theyknowit's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way.

i linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/why-i-eventually-left.

itscrap&theyknowit!

@ROSKI - I am sooooo sorry for your loss!!!!!!!!!!!!! Death is a horrible blow! As for your husband, let him answer to Jehovah if that's what he believes in! Like I told my husband, "you aren't serving Jehovah. You're serving THE ORGANIZATION!" It has been to the demise of our marriage. Our husbands are fine and have tunnel vision due to this dumb a$$ religion.

I can tell my husband would leave if he could. But, the APPEARANCE factor for his family and other friends would probably make him commit suicide. Anyway, I've told him to stay with the organization, I nolonger want him.

43

For those that are and have been married,did the JW lifestyle aggravate "typical" marital and family problems?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's congregation bible study which focuses on the responsibilities of christian parents, and husbands.

i also ask this in harmony with itscrap&theyknowit's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way.

i linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/why-i-eventually-left.

itscrap&theyknowit!

Anybody reading this who thinks they are stuck in a loveless JW marriage. You aren't stuck. You only THINK you're stuck. You can control your destiny. Nobody say you have to suffer forever. It's up to YOU what your future will be. No one else. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

@MR.FLIPPER - Thank you, so much for that GREAT "peace" of advice!!! I say "peace" because that is what it is...PEACE OF MIND! We are taught as Witnesses that the only way out of marriage is adultery or death. It amazes me to see the sisters with sad and forlorn faces, who are depraved of their husbands ture love because of this all-consuming cult. I have seen sisters who change their work schedules at their jobs to evening shifts JUST SO THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO ATTEND MEETINGS! Of course, the husband who is an elder MAKES HER COME OFF THAT SCHEDULE OR QUIT HER JOB ALTOGETHER!!!!!! I was one of those sisters!!!

20 years of marriage just to be divorced...AND CAN'T STAND THE AIR THAT THIS PERSON BREATHES TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH YOU??????? It's time to divorce. We live together as 'roommates' for the sake of our kids. But, that has gotten old because he STILL wants to monitor who I'm out with, choose my friends, make sure I'm not with any dis-fellowshipped people or even just trying to see if I've committed adultery along the way.

It is a horrible existence. Our kids notice it. I want to be in love again. It's time for me to finalize my marriage.

But, then he says, "If you divorce me and we have no grounds, you will leave me in lingo as not to marry again." I looked at him and told him to continue screwing the sister he secretly has been seeing and the female at his job....you'll be just fine!

217

Feb. 15th WT - WT Society says DFed Ones are Lawless- Just Like Demons

by flipper in

jw
friends

i would assume that some or a good number of us here as normal humans in this society - consider " lawless " actions to include murder , robbery, extortion, rape, child abuse, war , terrorism, etc.

the wt society has their own definition of what's considered " lawless ".

anything that's considered a disfellowshipping offense in the jehovah's witnesses is now considered " lawless ".

itscrap&theyknowit!

@GREWUP - I've endured alot. I would think they would support me 'getting out' of a miserable situation. They have seen first hand with my marriage and have been BEYOND upset because of his status as elder inthe congreagtion! But,now? Oh, because he continues on in meeting attendance and taking the kids to the hall for the sake of their lives @ Armageddon! WTF???!!! He is a 'whitewashed grave full of crap'! Nobody thinks to say, 'wow, his crap has caught up with him.' I guess if I told them all the gory details, it would satisfy them-NOT! He shiny and true because thru it all, he's still a child a of God in the eyes of the borganization! APPEARANCES, APPEARANCES...................

43

For those that are and have been married,did the JW lifestyle aggravate "typical" marital and family problems?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's congregation bible study which focuses on the responsibilities of christian parents, and husbands.

i also ask this in harmony with itscrap&theyknowit's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way.

i linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/why-i-eventually-left.

itscrap&theyknowit!

@MISERYLOVESELDERS- No. Your're ok to ask. I loved my husband, at one time. Correction. I WORSHIPPED my husband. This went on FOR YEARS. I also felt it was my duty. After all those years, I got to a point where I had no respect for him. He would always tell me, "If I should lose my position in the congregation for your foolishness (my being late, not having the kids ready for the meeting, me not leaving my job early to get to meetings on time, not having my Watchtower article studied to a tee....etc, etc, etc) I will forever resent you." WTF?!!! He was now are angry with me because now we have 2 beautiful children and he can nolonger galavant with the religion. We were nolonger a 'perfect JW' family for all to based their hopes and dreams on. At this point, we were only in our late 20's - early 30's!!!!

Oh! I stopped having sex altogether!!!!!!!!! It gave me 'power beyond what is normal'!!!!!!! I stopped letting him pump his cramp in me. Needed to stop 2 things.....going to the hall and having sex with him! lol!!!! NOW, he begs, tries to buy me the things I've always wanted but never asked for, wants to take me on vacations, just the 2 of us (but, thru all these years I would beg for his time to be with me...I was not deserving of that and if we did go away, we would miss field service and our own meetings. If we did go away, he would make it HELL for me.)

So, now....GAME OVER. I won, despite what the dumb-a$$ 'friends' tell him! I give him HELL EVERYDAY. As easy as just not talking to him or inviting him to family functions or vacations with the kids. HE CRIES NOW & IT KILLS HIM, he says. Karma is a BI***! As the JWS that!

217

Feb. 15th WT - WT Society says DFed Ones are Lawless- Just Like Demons

by flipper in

jw
friends

i would assume that some or a good number of us here as normal humans in this society - consider " lawless " actions to include murder , robbery, extortion, rape, child abuse, war , terrorism, etc.

the wt society has their own definition of what's considered " lawless ".

anything that's considered a disfellowshipping offense in the jehovah's witnesses is now considered " lawless ".

itscrap&theyknowit!

Our Dad just passed away a few months ago. It has torn our family apart. It's Satan, of course. I noticed that "all of a sudden" REALLY started trying to "get herself together". She, at this point, really wants to see Dad in the resurrection. Even if he is NOT her husband (what a horrible way to live into the New Order).

Long story short. As I stopped attending the meetings years ago, all of a sudden, Mom stopped taking my phone calls to check up on her emotional status. I mean, Dad hadn't even been gone 4 weeks yet. When she would answer the call, it would be short and with a sneering heckle. I asked her if I had done something wrong because of the ill treatment. It was brought to my attention that she (and my bible-wannabe) bothers and sister, were to back away from me since I nolonger wanted to share with them in attending the meetings.

Oh, really?!!!! It hurt me to the core!!!! At the time when we all needed each other more than ever, they called themselves not speaking to me! Fine. I didn't call or go to my parent's home to visit Mom for 8 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I broke Mom down. She eventually called to check on me. You see. That is a double-edged sword. Understand you may possibly NEVER see Dad again. Me? They chose for the sake of this dub-a$$ religion to cut of and I'm the one still living and breathing!!!!!

I could see if I were living a vile and corrupt life. Not taking care of my kids and begging for money. I work EVERYDAY, attend college, kids are BETTER OFF than they were ever before, AND I look great! Now, I smile...all the time!!!!

I guess it was better when I was miserable. Wearing the same black dress everyday, hair all over my head, bags under my eyes with a dumb-a$$ elder husband treating me like a child. Oh!!!! I was doing it for Jehovah. No! I was doing it for APPEARANCES.

43

For those that are and have been married,did the JW lifestyle aggravate "typical" marital and family problems?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's congregation bible study which focuses on the responsibilities of christian parents, and husbands.

i also ask this in harmony with itscrap&theyknowit's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way.

i linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/why-i-eventually-left.

itscrap&theyknowit!

I remember the kids were approx. 2 y.o. and 4 y.o. Went out in service on one of the HOTTEST Saturday's ever!!!!! CIRCUIT OVERSEER's visit!!!! Yaaayyy/Booooooo!!!! Means more work for me. I was tired from my 'usual' schedule as a working JW young mom and wife to a demanding elder.

Was tired and the kids were tired and hungry and fussy. My hair all over my head. Hell, I don't think I had on matching shoes! Get to the service arrangement (of course, he leaves me to bring in the kids cuz it's my fault we're late). The ELDERS make car arrangments. I get to stuck with my f---- robotic mother-in-law and 2 other crazy sisters. I had to drive cuz we had the 'nice family van'. I was pissed!!!! But, I smiled and dutifully when about doing things for the sake of appearances. Low and belod, husband says, "I will meet up w/you after 1:00PM." WTF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him to take a kid and a car seat! Do you know the other sisters in MY carpool (especially my mother-in-law) all looked at me and gaped with fear and loathing and disdain????? They shouted, "Oh, no!!!! He's working with the C.O!!!!!!!!!!! Why would you send the babies with him???? They need their time together to discuss matters!" I said, "No! Of all ppl, the C.O. and his wife should be understanding that a FATHER needs to also deal with his children just as the mother does!" The parking lot of about 200 witness out to support the C.O. for service was quieter than a mouse peeing on cotton!!!!!!

Later on, I was reprimanded and 'lovingly' scolded. We went home after 2:00PM which was a horrible f--- day. I was reprimanded during the 30 minute drive home. I cried all the way. Had the 'family study' and it was targeted towards me for all of 2 hours. Fed the kids. Had to screw my husband for about 20 minutes. Fold clothes. Couldn't watch Jeopardy because I hadn't 'studied' the article of the Watchtower for the 9/9:30AM meeting. So that kept me up until 11:00PM. Fought to put the kids to sleep while he and his other elder.m.s. friends went out and got f----drunk and probably between the legs of this whorish single sister's house they all hung over in secrecy. Then, it was Sunday and 7:00AM. Time to start the JW ritual all over again and I am asking Jehovah in the shower (and crying) "Why?"

Oh...I totally apologize for venting on someone elses's blog.....

43

For those that are and have been married,did the JW lifestyle aggravate "typical" marital and family problems?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's congregation bible study which focuses on the responsibilities of christian parents, and husbands.

i also ask this in harmony with itscrap&theyknowit's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way.

i linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/why-i-eventually-left.

itscrap&theyknowit!

The stress of getting ready for meetings and attending when tired or ill just to keep up appearances. This gets worse for wives and children of appointed men since any absense requires a really good explanation. Other Elders seeking privileges held by others will not hold back from citing the family as bad examples in order to get what they want. This inevitably causes tension in the home. It also means that you don't actually listen to one another the husband doesn't want to hear that the wife is physically exhausted after having a hypo in the day and just needs to sleep. The wife feels the husband is an insensitive arse (I mean you Cantleave) but feels the pressure to conform.

Add to this assemblies which involved ridiculously early starts and by the time you arrived to find all the end seats were taken by elders and their families from the local congregations who covered rows of chairs with blankets. You inevitably want to snipe but couldn't just in case interested people are there and you would create a bad impression. Oh and your husband yelled at you in the car because you hadn't had time to dry your hair because you had been so busy making lunch and getting children ready. Your husband is all dressed up because he had time to care for himself and feels you are showing him up. He is very sorry about that one.

@ NUGGET - ...oh yeah. My 'tiredness' prevented us from being used on the assembly, here and there, according to my husband. I got tired of all the stupid rehearsals anyway. So, if this was the 'cart and bull' that caused us not to be used...I picked up on it quickly. WE HAD THE APPEARANCE AS THE PERFECT YOUNG FAMILY IN JEHOVAH'S ORGANIZATION. ....Excuse me???!!! No one could tell how we argued and I'd been crying ALL THE WAY TO THE DAMN ASSEMBLY HALL (40 miles.... one way of getting blasted!!!)!!!!

43

For those that are and have been married,did the JW lifestyle aggravate "typical" marital and family problems?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's congregation bible study which focuses on the responsibilities of christian parents, and husbands.

i also ask this in harmony with itscrap&theyknowit's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way.

i linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/why-i-eventually-left.

itscrap&theyknowit!

Then they start fighting over stupid, little things that really shouldn't matter but they do because of the fear/guilt factor piled on them by the WT.

Then if they do want some help, the elders give them worthless advice. Basically they tell the wife to sit down and shutup, and the husband to be a better head, which is code for dominate your family and tell them what to do. Oh, and btw get to more meetings, go in service more, and everything will work out. You know, stay on the WT hamster wheel and never get off. How in the world is that going to help a marriage?

@ LOST GENERATION........u must have been the fly on the wall at my hall!!!! lol!!!!

I was the UUUUBER-DUTIFUL Christian wife. I was already a naive and EXTREMELY humble child/adult. I never questioned ANYTHING. But, when the time came and I needed help with the kids from my husband....uh..the kid's dad.....I WAS HUMILIATED EVERYTIME!!!! Constantly told how my mother-in-law did things with 5 children and a husband as an elder and they NEVER skipped a beat in meetings, field service, etc, etc (let them tell it!). And, of course, ALL their kids have extreme marital problems that ended in divorce due to APPEARANCES.

I tell young witness couples, RUN LIKE HELL TO HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!! You can destroy your marriage on your own!

43

For those that are and have been married,did the JW lifestyle aggravate "typical" marital and family problems?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i ask this in consideration of last week's and this week's congregation bible study which focuses on the responsibilities of christian parents, and husbands.

i also ask this in harmony with itscrap&theyknowit's thread which is a heluva opening post by the way.

i linked it below for those that aren't familiar with it.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/206133/1/why-i-eventually-left.

itscrap&theyknowit!

@ MISERYLOVESELDERS

Thanks for the 'shout'. Yes! It (THE JWS) have torn my marriage to pieces. I also blame my husband for being spine-less. It is inate with him, though. The APPEARANCES GAME runs deep in his family. Like some one asked me on a theread yesterday, 'can I find it in my heart to forgive my husband and not let the organization 'win'? No. I had tried and tried. I wasn't EVER looking to be divorced. I would BEG him to see things my way, just once. Like Jehovah told Abraham, "listen to your wife." The Bible says that a man would leave his parents and stick to his wife. It did not tell him to stick to the organization. THE JWS IMPLORES YOU TO DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got to the point where I was nolonger AFRAID of my husband or this CYBORG RELIGION! I used to tell him, "okay. Don't let this religion tear this marriage apart" or okay, your're gonna find yourself screwing the elder body and your friends when I leave you."

I'm sure he NEVER saw it coming to this.

I tell ANY young couple who 'just has to confess' to me about how hard things are within their marriage. I ask them, "Do you still love your mate?" They say, "yes." I tell them, "RUN TO THE F---- HILLS FROM THIS RELIGION!!!!!!!!!!!!!"