Posts by Velour

34

I have decided to leave

by umadevi in

i have read coc, ccmc, isocf and captive of a concept.

i have been fading since april.

i have nothing to hold me back in wbts so i have decided to leave it.

Velour

Yay! So glad that you've finally reached the end of your ties to the WT and the beginning of a new chapter ^_^ Please keep reading and questioning everything!

8

News article with a hilarious statement

by yourmomma in

http://www.alligator.org/news/campus/article_f2b5f5a6-a6b9-11e0-afd2-001cc4c002e0.html.

is this writer a jw trying to lie to make his religion sound better, or did someone outright lie to this man.. .

the statement is as follows:.

Velour

The religious group also believes that 144,000 people will go to heaven, and the rest of humankind will live on Earth under the previously mentioned government.

They skip the part that says billions of people die at Armaggedon AND THEN the left overs live on the Earth petting baby pandas for ever and ever and ever. Just endless petting. For all of eternity.

36

I decided not to go back to the KH

by Bucholz in

well, as i mentioned before in one of my few other posts, i've been lurking here for some time now and finally decided it was time to face the facts and take action.. i was raised a jw (4th generation) and my parents were quite zealous when they got married.

mom was a regular pioneer and dad was a ms. i was the little jw 'rockstar' in my congregation, got baptized at 10, was giving talks and serving as an attendant at the hall and at conventions at such an early age.

auxiliary pioneered whenever i could.

Velour

Oh Bucholz! Your post was lovely. I'm glad you're awake. As the fog starts to clear you'll feel more and more refreshed. Welcome to reality.

I agree that you should take the time to read. Read anything and everything. Keep asking questions beyond what you've been trained to ask.

And most importantly, after years of living your life according to what Jehovah wants, thinks, and likes, figure out what YOU want, what YOU think, and what YOU like. It's highly rewarding finding yourself buried under years of group think.

Again, congratulations ^_^

100

Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

by junebug_11 in

ok, quick run down of my situation.. .

1. i am not religious.

my now-fiance was raised jw but left the religion about 10 years ago.. 2. we started dating last march, i got pregnant within two weeks.

Velour

Hi Junebug,

Thanks for your post. I was raised as a JW from the age of 8 when my father and step mother converted and for the sake of your young child please please please make sure of what you're getting your little one into.

I never formed a relationship with my father because of his activity in the organization on top of his regular job. He was always busy busy busy. He always had a talk to prepare and give. He always had a bible study with someone he had to prepare for and go to. He went out in service every moment he could. He had responsibilities to the congregation he was in that took up time as well. He was a good JW but a terrible father that I could not relate to. Any conversations I tried to have with him turned into him teaching me about Jehovah and always included a scripture. I could never just talk to my father. He was buried and dead under his beliefs as a Jehovah's Witness. Literally, I would try to talk to him about working out and exercising, which he loved before he became a JW, and he would talk about how bodily training is beneficial for little but exercising our hearts and minds for Jehovah were beneficial for a lot. I miss my father. I do not know this cyborg that replaced him.

The religion requires parents to have a weekly personal one-on-one bible study with their children on top of preparing ahead of time for each meeting. Do you want your young child's growing mind and heart to be molded into this cult's thinking?

For myself, I was left with guilt for not doing enough for God. Emotionally, I was devestated. Even at 25 yrs of age and having left this cult, I feel disconnected from the world around me which I'm going to therapy to work on. I'm just now going to school. I was taught that the environment in universities would damage my relationship with Jehovah and that if I'm wasting my time in school instead of helping others learn about Jehovah before Armaggedon I could have a lot of blood on my hands that Jehovah would ask back from me.

If your child grows up and becomes a JW- if he "sins" against god and is disfellowshipped, what will happen to his relationship with his father? His father will shun him at a time that he probably needs his father the most. Or if your son gets baptized at a young age and later realizes he no longer wants to be in this organization. His father will shun him. This has happened to me. I lost my entire family when I realized the lies and scandals surrounding this cult.

I have family who are not JW. For over 15 years growing up I saw very little of them. When I was with them I had to be on-guard and defensive against Satan's tactics to use non-JW family to get me to sin against Jehovah. Despite all of my family's attempts to include me and show me love, I never showed up to holidays with them, I returned any birthday and holidays cards they sent me. The organization teaches that I have to preach to them and get them to convert, or else when they die at Armaggedon that will be my fault. All of my conversations with them were uncomfortable and me preaching. Needless to say, my relationship with my non-JW family was deeply damaged. Since leaving the borganization, the lonliness stings more because I have family but I've damaged the relationships and I feel so guilty because of that. Thankfully they're willing to help me rebuild; this unconditional love that they showed to me for so many years is something you will not find in the JW organization.

I don't know the situation you are in but I'm uncomfortably knowledgeable about the burdens your child will have to endure. Please have a hard think about the pros and cons of you staying with this JW man and your son growing up a Jehovah's Witness. I know it's difficult to think of your child not having a close relationship to his father but even with his father in the house, if his father is a good JW showing that cult personality, they will not be close anyways.

1

Taking back re-defined words

by onefootout in

i was trying to think of all the words that wts re-defines to mold the thinking of anyone who will listen.. truth, or the truth.. i am going to try to use the word 'truth' in conversation in it's proper context, describing things that are actual truisms to try to get people to view the word not as describing the religion they belong to, but to things that are actually true.

emphasize that actual truisms never change.. generation.. this one takes some sublty because it has been latched onto by us doubters and could raise the forcefields.

example: so many of the people our parents or grandparents age of the 'greatest generation' that experienced ww2 have died.

Velour

The world

and

worldly persons

81

Belief in God: What were the difficult aspects and questions you had.

by designs in

two main one's for me were god being capricious and serendipitous..

Velour

When I was a child and believed in god with all of my young heart I felt frustrated that no matter how much I tried to reach him with tears all over my face, he never answered my prayers. My mother abandoned me, my cousins abused me, I was alone.

When I got older and was introduced to jehovah I did everything I needed to finally be close to him. I prayed and studied and pioneered and made new disciples. Yet, while everyone around me was feeling close to god and having an intimate relationship with him, I was not. I didn't feel him in my life. I didn't sense any closeness to him. I left believing god didn't want me. I couldn't deny that others felt his presence but I did not.

I had lost my childhood, my innocence, and dignity all the while praying to god for help.

I feel terrible for people who's lives were worse off than mine. I was molested but I never had to watch my family starve to death. I was abandoned and neglected by my parents but I wasn't born in a war torn land, worried about land mines blasting my body to pieces. etc... Sure I could sit here in the USofA and still pretend that god blesses his creation but I'd have to ignore the rest of the world.

These things I had trouble reconciling with my belief in god.

...but that was when I believed in god.

21

what was your "back burner?"

by stillin in

when i was studying in the truth book i laid aside quite a few questions, feeling that i was learning something important, and that those "nagging questions" would be answered in due course.

most of those questions have gone unanswered because i was led along, like a stupid pig with a ring in his nose, by other pseudo-questions of, really, non-importance.

i've had problems with conforming, if that is the word, with "correct speak" in the organization, and it has been apparant to most of the people i've known over the years.

Velour

I had a few. I'm a massage therapist and was warned about Thai massage because it is similar to yoga in it's teaching of aligning the body's energy. Though I don't give a rat's a** about messing with energies, I was excited about the relaxing stretches in Thai massage.

Then I read that accupuncture was ok!!! WTF New York?!!!

I also could never reconcile the idea that god is the same always and forever and then switch my brain from 'this god allows slave women to be beaten raped and murdered' to 'this god cares so much as to heal a sick woman's irregular blood flow'. Never quite worked for me.

And a big one- I wasn't ok with god killing billions of people because they didn't convert to being a JW after some 3 min rehearsed spiel at their door. I thought about how devoted we were to our god and how we weren't having any of the Mormons' ideas when they knocked on our door yet, the Mormons had to take our stuff. Major disconnect.

29

Greetings, First Post on JWN Forum

by partydelights in

jw
friends

dear all,.

i'm new here and this is my first post.

i hope to introduce myself in order to gain more friends online.. to begin, i'm middleage and has just left wt with my family intact (praise god for that).

Velour

Welcome! Glad to have you here ^_^

27

Hello JWN

by johny5 in

jw
friends

hello everyone,.

also hello bethel, you can tell your superiors there is another one that no longer accepts your authority.. right now, i just want to say hello.. i think everyone understand what is to wake up to reality.. .

.

Velour

Welcome to the forum Johny5! Look forward to your posts

22

I need help! i am in social limbo!

by Free!! in

jw
friends

i was wondering if some of you can give me some advice in how to get over the fact that i feel so inadequate when trying to make new friends!!

since i left the borg i have only made about 2-3 close friends... the wts ruined my social skills and i am so depressed because i am afraid of the real world... i know i am ready to move on... but i dont know how.. i feel like i dont belong in there but i dont belong out here either... i am in social limbo.. and it sucks to have no friends.. .

when i was in i hated the weekends because i was basically forced to go to service, now i hate the weekends because if the few friends i have are busy w their families or partners i am stuck all by myself... :( please give me some pointers i feel super lonely!

Velour

Howdy Free!!

If you were introduced to the borg at a young age then it's very likely you pushed aside an exploration of who you are and what you like to accommodate what Jehovah wants, likes, and thinks. We become disconnected from ourselves (maybe never even having the chance to connect) and therefore it will be awkward connecting to others. Please take the time to know what YOU want, what YOU like, and what YOU think.

After my "what am I all about" time, I realized that I'm naturally an introvert. I quit trying to meet people at crowded parties or at music venues and switched to small on-going classes like cooking and dancing classes. Those yoga classes sound like a great idea! It's weird at first but a great "fake it til you make it" technique is to smile and ask questions about the other person. You'll come off as genuine and by asking them questions 1) you don't have to talk that much and 2) when you do talk, you'll have some information to build on.

"Have you taken other cooking classes?" *smile and listen*

"That move has been so difficult for me. How long did you have to practice before you perfected it?" *smile and listen*

By taking on-going classes you'll likely see the same faces and with a bit of chit-chat here and there you'll meet people who'll turn into friends.

Look for chances to exchange information: "I took classes on Mediterranean cooking and I loved it, I can totally send you the information if you'd like!" or "I watched a youtube tutorial on that move that really helped me out. I can link it to you if you'd like"

Remember that even if you feel awkward, the person you're talking to will most likely not notice. Just smile ^_^ And don't be scared to just say, "I'm kind of socially awkward so please excuse me if I seem weird." It's cute, people will perceive you as down-to-earth and honest and will more than excuse your awkwardness.

And lastly, be patient. It took me about a year to build a decent social circle for myself, one by one I added people with all of this effort. Once you have these lovelies in your life, take the intiative to invite them out for dinner, a quick drink, or a stroll around a gallery. Don't wait for them to call you. Sadly, when we enter the real world we don't have automatic "friends" the same as when we enter a KH. We have a particularly weighty fight when it comes to socializing but I know you can do it! If I, an introverted uncultured grump, can do it you certainly can too ^_^

Please keep us posted