Posts by Velour

19

My association with this organisation is coming to its end!

by TimothyT in

im posting from my boyfriend's house!

im having a week here with him to get away from things and to enjoy myself.

recently i came out to my entire family that im gay.

Velour

Congratulations Tim!

I'm glad that you've opened yourself to experience love without restrictions. It's very impressive that your father understands what unconditional love is, a natural love between a parent and a child, and he won't repress that. What a life! ^_^

I certainly agree that you should do more research about the lies and scandals this organization is a part of. When you fully shed the idea that this organization is "truth" then you can fully shed the prejudices they've indoctrinated you with. Nothing gets under my skin or the skin of people you'll date more than spouting out a line like, "I know I'm a sinner and I'm ok with that." (I just recenly had a conversation about the way religion reaches it tentacles into relationships) You're not sinning, that's a lie they use to control you even outside of their organization hoping you'll crawl back after years of trying to shove it to the corners of your mind. Be free.

Have peace, my friend, and enjoy the freedom of experiencing love without restriction.

61

Never, ever posted to a site before-Scarec silly

by PaintedToeNail in

jw
friends

hi, i'm scared to death writing this that i will be discovered and have major problems.

i had a good life being raised as a jw child.

many good memories of people, places and times.

Velour

Hi and welcome =)

26

My 1st post -- after being out for 10 years...

by gonzo2k in

jw
friends

so, i'm new to the site lurked around for a week or so now before signing up.

i'll try to keep this first post short.

just looking to make some connections with others that have been thru similar life experiences and help out anyone that feels empty and alone after leaving the "organization".

Velour

Welcome to the board Gonzo =) Thank you for posting. Look forward to hearing more from you.

31

You're only an ATHEIST because of the abusive relationship you had with your former religion..?

by Velour in

the few times that i've had a chat about my atheism, i usually get a response like the one above.

"well, seeing how you were in a cult- i can understand why you're an atheist now," just dismissing the bulk of the reasons i have for my disbelief.. i think what is particularly awkward about someone telling me this is- it's part way true- only part way though.

however, they stop listening after i explain to them that, "yes, being in a cult was an impetus to my search" and they fail to hear the rest of what i'm saying and believe that i went from point a to point f and just skipped all the steps and months of research in between out of some kind of anti-jw tantrum.

Velour

ColdRedRain- I like your picture/avatar

59

New to this site. Scared, Lonely and in a lot of pain due to shunning by my family.

by wonder*woman in

jw
friends

this is my very first post to this forum.

i am begging for some much needed encouragment and support by those who are kind hearted and know exactly the pain shunning causes.

i am a 30 year old former jehovah's witness and a mother of two beautiful girls.

Velour

Thanks for the additional information.

I've only been out for a year, but from what I've read on here, the ideas on who's to be shunned and who's ok to "save" (still speak to) shifts. The laxness comes in waves. Right now, the organization seems to be in panic mode and everyone is to be feared and shunned. At this year's summer convention, even inactive ones are labled as bad association. In a recent WT article, those of us who have left the organization are called "mentally diseased" and what is more, WE CONTAGIOUS! So the walls are up high right now blocking out anyone who isn't smack dab in the middle of that organization, you're included in this.

Having this information doesn't make the pain of shunning going away but being in the know helps you to cope and understand why these people are being so extreme. Do your best to enjoy the family you DO still have in your life ^_^ but don't be afraid to cry and vent here whenever you need a sounding board.

*Sidenote: I'm so glad that your little girl has a caring mother and it sounds like a wonderful father. I'm glad that her young years won't be damaged by cult upbringing but that she'll be free to be herself and express herself without all the soul-sucking restrictions of that controlling organization.

59

New to this site. Scared, Lonely and in a lot of pain due to shunning by my family.

by wonder*woman in

jw
friends

this is my very first post to this forum.

i am begging for some much needed encouragment and support by those who are kind hearted and know exactly the pain shunning causes.

i am a 30 year old former jehovah's witness and a mother of two beautiful girls.

Velour

Hello Miss

Thank you for opening up and posting. As many have already stated, we've been shunned as well by our family and close friends, I'm included. Please know that you'll find a lot of support here and we're all ready to offer any encouragement you need. Post away on here!

Allow yourself the time to cry and grieve. Mourning is totally natural right now.

31

You're only an ATHEIST because of the abusive relationship you had with your former religion..?

by Velour in

the few times that i've had a chat about my atheism, i usually get a response like the one above.

"well, seeing how you were in a cult- i can understand why you're an atheist now," just dismissing the bulk of the reasons i have for my disbelief.. i think what is particularly awkward about someone telling me this is- it's part way true- only part way though.

however, they stop listening after i explain to them that, "yes, being in a cult was an impetus to my search" and they fail to hear the rest of what i'm saying and believe that i went from point a to point f and just skipped all the steps and months of research in between out of some kind of anti-jw tantrum.

Velour

Rocky Girl- I think that believers saying this to me do so because religion is mostly about emotion. They push love Love LOVE and with stories about god burning people forever in hell or handing out immediate death sentences, they push fear Fear FEAR. And, they only agree with science when it agrees with them because it gives them an uncomfortable feeling to go against their god and make him angry Angry ANGRY. Every move you make in a religion is a move of the heart. So, they equate someone's dismissal of god as an emotional leave of religion the same way one would simply change religions.

I think it's beyond believers to sometimes sit back and understand what it is to dismiss how you feel about something and just accept the garden as it is. We leave our hearts out of it and value our thinking abilities, whereas believers value the heart's opinon over most everything.

Rebel- Yeah, I'm not one who generally talks about religion with belivers. I've only had 2 or 3 conversations about it with close relatives and my best friend and this comment is always said to me at some point in the conversation. After the last one, I said I'd never do it again and haven't. Religion is all about 'what's in your heart' which is the same as an opinion, and it's pretty useless to debate opinions. I bring this thread up because I watched an interview with Nate Phelps- the shunned son of Fred Phelps, leader of the Westboro Baptist Church- and he gets this repsonse all the time.

NC- Ha! We were so confident that we were right. *facepalm*

Isaac- I think the people I've actually had a conversation with about it tell me this, not really out of generosity, but because they think it will "snap me out of it" and help me "realize" that I'm just overreacting. It does bother me a lot though, when in passing, I say I don't believe and the person stops and shifts tones as if I'm not the same person as before and am now evil. God certianly does not have the monopoly on good.

Bungi Bill- I think the same is true for me. If I hadn't been swallowed up at such a young age to JW, I wouldn't have been very concerned about god's existence later in life.

OTWO- word

leaving- Yes, this is true. If I hadn't gone on to obsess about what is real and true and research these things, then I would have simply remained an agnostic. I said for a while that I was a 'personal agnostic'- I couldn't deny that other people were having a relationship with god but despite all of my efforts to reach him, he never entered my life and I never sensed a closeness to him. When a person is always being told what is right and what is wrong to the point of abusive control it's not unusual that the person will search for themselves what is right and wrong.

designs- Cool. You could put a lot of good stuff in there! You're only a(n) *activist, volunteer, compassionate person, thinker first lover second, patient person, good salesman, etc...* because of the abusive relationship you had with your former religion. That's hot!

Thanks for your responses ^_^

31

You're only an ATHEIST because of the abusive relationship you had with your former religion..?

by Velour in

the few times that i've had a chat about my atheism, i usually get a response like the one above.

"well, seeing how you were in a cult- i can understand why you're an atheist now," just dismissing the bulk of the reasons i have for my disbelief.. i think what is particularly awkward about someone telling me this is- it's part way true- only part way though.

however, they stop listening after i explain to them that, "yes, being in a cult was an impetus to my search" and they fail to hear the rest of what i'm saying and believe that i went from point a to point f and just skipped all the steps and months of research in between out of some kind of anti-jw tantrum.

Velour

The few times that I've had a chat about my atheism, I usually get a response like the one above.

"Well, seeing how you were in a cult- I can understand why you're an atheist now," just dismissing the bulk of the reasons I have for my disbelief.

I think what is particularly awkward about someone telling me this is- it's part way true- ONLY PART WAY THOUGH. However, they stop listening after I explain to them that, "yes, being in a cult was an impetus to my search" and they fail to hear the rest of what I'm saying and believe that I went from point A to point F and just skipped all the steps and months of research in between out of some kind of anti-jw tantrum. This is the process I went through to arrive as an atheist. It was a long road of honest questioning and testing my own ideas and long time beliefs.

1) Started doubting the truthfulness of the religion I was in.

2) Left the religion as an agnostic confused about what is true and what is real.

3) Researched how to find out what is true and what is real.

4) Put everything I had ever considered true and real to the test.

5) Dropped the lies and fantasies and accepted only reality.

6) Identified as an atheist.

So, while it is true that if I had been in some other religion, say the Catholic religion I was originally a part of, I may have never been spurred to question what is really true. This is only part of the path, though, and by dismissing the other steps a person NEEDS to take to realize that god most likely does not exit- all the hours, days, weeks, and months of research and education about what we know to be reality- is an insult at the least. As an adult, my atheism is not an emotional reaction like that of a hormonal tween, it's a realization I've come to after using my thinking abilities to test things out.

This is my full response. However, as I've stated before, most believers ignore the other 80% of the steps I took to realize my atheism and belittle my acknowledgement as nothing more than an emotionally charged attempt to lash out at the cult.

How do you respond when someone tells you this?

42

How well do you sleep?

by Lozhasleft in

jw
friends

for years i've been pretty good at getting a good night's sleep.

a couple of pages of my book and i'm away til morning, apart from the odd bladder brigade journey.

however, suddenly, after our house move, i am having just an awful time of it.

Velour

What is this...s...s...sleeeeeep you speak of?

20

Hi Some of my story

by hellenback in

fast forward 10 years for some reason i met a witness and went back.

i was feeling low and started studying with a lovely elderly brother and was baptised.

two years later i met and married a lady witness was married for 7 years and during this time once again saw lots of hypocrisy and then the child molesters issue.

Velour

Welcome to the forum Hellenback. I hope you can find some comfort in sharing your story and recieving support with people who understand Thanks for your post. Look forward to seeing more of ya.