Posts by SecretSlaveClass

31

Having One Of Those "Pondering Disassociation" Days :(

by freemindfade in

there are a lot of things that make me have days like this, the utter embarrassment of being are part of a cult that protects child abusers, that enforces emotional brutality through shunning, and that lies constantly.

the lying i can tolerate, the world is built on bullshit, i have a high lie tolerance.

i can ignore it if it has no effect on me etc.

SecretSlaveClass

FMF:

You're a good guy and you certainly don't deserve being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I hope things don't stay this way for you much longer.

25

A word of advice clining to their persecutors ...

by SecretSlaveClass in

let me start off by saying i do not presume to have the answers, i am merely offering advice.. i will preface this posting with this, cutting a long story short:.

my sister was raped by a popular jw lad wh's dad happen to be a rock star elder.

in the attempt to fight him off his face was covered with scratches and it was reported to the police ( instead of rape he was sentenced on the lesser charges of sexual battery and assault) but he confessed to having violent, consentual sex.

SecretSlaveClass

Xanthippe28 minutes ago

I don't have anything to do with them but I wouldn't put the phone down on them if they contacted me because they may want to leave the cult one day. There is little chance of this but they know where I am.

Completely understand and I feel the same way.

My life is good. When I left I got my degree and eventually a job I like. My daughter is an intelligent, ethical, compassionate young woman of twenty now, free to enjoy her life without cult influences. She is enjoying university and we have a great time travelling to different countries together.

That's fantastic, it gives me a big ol' grin inside and outside!

40

Petition for U.S. AG investigation.

by freemindfade in

not sure if anything will come of this.

but i signed it.. https://www.change.org/p/united-states-attorney-general-investigate-the-watchtower-society-of-jehovah-s-witnesses-re-child-sexual-abuse?recruiter=363165656&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink.

SecretSlaveClass

I can't find it but I did sign a few others though. That is a fantastic site, I wonder how influential it is?

25

A word of advice clining to their persecutors ...

by SecretSlaveClass in

let me start off by saying i do not presume to have the answers, i am merely offering advice.. i will preface this posting with this, cutting a long story short:.

my sister was raped by a popular jw lad wh's dad happen to be a rock star elder.

in the attempt to fight him off his face was covered with scratches and it was reported to the police ( instead of rape he was sentenced on the lesser charges of sexual battery and assault) but he confessed to having violent, consentual sex.

SecretSlaveClass

millie21019 minutes ago
You have lived a life that is unique in many ways SSC.
I enjoy hearing about it and seeing things from your perspective.
I think of us ex JWs as being a rare group. Touchy, sensitive, beautiful, wise and all at different stages.

Thank you millie, I enjoy your perspective very much myself as I do just about everyone's on this forum. I've learned a boatload in the short time I've been part of this community. Thank you everyone!

If the rest of the world is like a piano or maybe an organ, than we are like the carillion bells of humanity.

I love it!

17

Starting to get grilled by parents

by Anonymous17 in

so my parents had a meeting with me to talk about me not progressing spiritualy as i should be.

i felt like i was being interrogated in a nice way.

they want to know who i talk to and if my association at work good.

SecretSlaveClass

stan livedeath6 hours agoyeah--jesus didnt got baptised till he was 30--and he was perfect.
so imperfect men need to wait a lot longer.

Great point!

17

Starting to get grilled by parents

by Anonymous17 in

so my parents had a meeting with me to talk about me not progressing spiritualy as i should be.

i felt like i was being interrogated in a nice way.

they want to know who i talk to and if my association at work good.

SecretSlaveClass

Anonaymous17:

What everyone here has said is great advice. I will only add that your parents seem like good people which makes decisions a lot harder for you. As mentioned before, take it slow, weigh your current situation and adjust accordingly. Reading everything you can to help convey your feelings and thought process for when the time comes to make your decision known is highly recommended. As previously advised, your most immediate concert is to avoid baptism at all costs!

25

A word of advice clining to their persecutors ...

by SecretSlaveClass in

let me start off by saying i do not presume to have the answers, i am merely offering advice.. i will preface this posting with this, cutting a long story short:.

my sister was raped by a popular jw lad wh's dad happen to be a rock star elder.

in the attempt to fight him off his face was covered with scratches and it was reported to the police ( instead of rape he was sentenced on the lesser charges of sexual battery and assault) but he confessed to having violent, consentual sex.

SecretSlaveClass

punkofnice

Agreed. It may not be immediate and may take planning but there is life outside the dark tower.

Yes planning is super important. I was fortunate in that I had saved a lot of money from part time jobs while still at school and was able to walk straight into the security of the military, which of course is not an option for a lot of folks.

breakfast of champions

Sounds like you had a whack job mother like I did. You were fortunate to get away young. . . . I hung around for years, and it wasn't until my wife pointed out how I was being manipulated left and right by her that I finally saw what was going on and cut ties.

At least you're free now and have a smart wife to share your freedom with. Happy to read that!

Xanthippe

I just won't play anymore. I say hello at funerals and then I move away. I don't write, email or phone. Let them play their manipulation games with each other, I'm not a little mouse to be mauled by their claws until I die.

It's sad an inherently cruel. I'm sorry you had to endure that for so long. Have you completely cut ties with them? How is your life now?

25

A word of advice clining to their persecutors ...

by SecretSlaveClass in

let me start off by saying i do not presume to have the answers, i am merely offering advice.. i will preface this posting with this, cutting a long story short:.

my sister was raped by a popular jw lad wh's dad happen to be a rock star elder.

in the attempt to fight him off his face was covered with scratches and it was reported to the police ( instead of rape he was sentenced on the lesser charges of sexual battery and assault) but he confessed to having violent, consentual sex.

SecretSlaveClass

defender of truth11 minutes agoThank you for sharing that story.
"Advice for those clinging to their captors" may have worked as a title, too.
We need to bear in mind, though, that not everyone has such extreme circumstances. Some people have healthy relationships with their parents, they just don't talk much about religion and deflect any attempts at guilt or emotional pleas to return. (Or they just go to occasional meetings and 1 hour in a month field circus, and then go home and live peaceful lives with friends and family they have known for many years).

Of course you are correct, I was only referring to extremely destructive relationships.

As for my own reasons for not being baptized refer back to my explanation which for some reason only showed up now.

P.S. You're also spot-on about the title. Oh well no chance of correcting that now.

25

A word of advice clining to their persecutors ...

by SecretSlaveClass in

let me start off by saying i do not presume to have the answers, i am merely offering advice.. i will preface this posting with this, cutting a long story short:.

my sister was raped by a popular jw lad wh's dad happen to be a rock star elder.

in the attempt to fight him off his face was covered with scratches and it was reported to the police ( instead of rape he was sentenced on the lesser charges of sexual battery and assault) but he confessed to having violent, consentual sex.

SecretSlaveClass

Clinging. It was a spelling error. My apologies - again.

25

A word of advice clining to their persecutors ...

by SecretSlaveClass in

let me start off by saying i do not presume to have the answers, i am merely offering advice.. i will preface this posting with this, cutting a long story short:.

my sister was raped by a popular jw lad wh's dad happen to be a rock star elder.

in the attempt to fight him off his face was covered with scratches and it was reported to the police ( instead of rape he was sentenced on the lesser charges of sexual battery and assault) but he confessed to having violent, consentual sex.

SecretSlaveClass

Witness My Fury:

I sincerely apologize if I came across as smug or condescending, I assure you that was not my intention. I didn't include my reasons for leaving since I wanted to keep my post short as possible and merely convey a point: my mom and brother were toxic and had I still conformed to her rules my life would have turned out to be a mess, that much is clear.

But since you're sure I had little or no insight myself, let me tell you my reasons.

I grew up with Zulus and Xhosas in the very rural midlands of Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa. My parents both had jobs which kept them away from home from 6am to often times as late as 10pm on week days. To help around the house it was common white South African practice to hire black maids to do house work and take care of the kids.

In Zulu culture it is customary for women to share child care amongst all the mothers of the clan which includes breast feeding.

Our maid, Lena Hlatswayo had a son my age, Kahleka. Since she was breast feeding him I too was breast fed by her, forming a very powerful bond between the three of us. Because of the way I was raised I had a very different view of blacks compared to the vast majority of other white South Africans under the apartheid regime. By far most of my friends were Zulus, spending almost all my free time with them except on weekends when my parents were home and we'd do things together. I saw NO DIFFERENCE between myself and a black person, I considered Lena more of a mother to me than my own mother could ever be.

How my insight began:

Every white JW I knew to a man was a bigoted racist, constantly using derogatory terms, minimizing their humanity and generally regarding them as slightly above apes. This made no sense to me because the religion kept talking about love and how all humans were equal in the Org. I was about eight when I asked my mom why all the whites treated the blacks so poorly and her response was, "They need to be kept in their place. They are different to us. They are lazy and just like when you're lazy, you make us angry and they make us very angry. They are good people but they have to be kept in check."

As if she noticed her words had stung, she quickly added, "But our black brothers and sisters are a lot more clever than the other kaffirs".

To this day that conversation is still vivid. As if that was going to make me feel better and suddenly grasp some sort of understanding (kaffir is a South African derogatory term for blacks like the "n" word,in the US).

Rampant racism causing a deep emotional conflict in me was my primary reason for challenging the Org as the "Truth". Witnessing and elder who I loved and looked up to (I had a crush on his gorgeous wife) have extra-marital sex at a get-together compounded my doubts and once I learned of my sister's rape it was all over. Incidentally, even at a young age I never bought into the life after death thing. Growing up around rural violence, witnessing death on a few occasions I stared at a few corpses as a kid. I would look imto their lifeless eyes and try to fathom where their life went, the same way I would with a dead animal. It simply occurred to me that they were one and the same and since animals didn't have a soul I couldn't see how humans could. Their deaths were identical.

That Sunday which was the first day I refused to attend meetings I recall well. My mom was getting ready to go to the KH and I had my fishing gear in my hands.

"Aren't you going to the meeting." She asked.

"No," I replied, "I'm going fishing."

"Don't you love Jehovah anymore?" She aslmost cried.

"Yes, that's why Im not going to the meeting and going fishing."

I never attended anything remotely Org related again.