PS, for the love of God! Do not tell her ANYTHING about you researching online about her religion at this stage, leave that until later. She will drop you so quickly she may think you are the devil himself.
Seconded...
troubledfiancee
JoinedPosts by troubledfiancee
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12
please help me help a friend
by emanresu ini am not a jw nor have i ever been one, but i joined this forum because a close firend of mine is.. we met and became good friends in the senior year of high school, and i didn't know what it meant to be a jw at the time, all i knew was that they were another christian denomination so i let it slide.. .
it was only after sometime after graduation that i began to really take my faith seriousely, and in the process i decided to do some research on watchtower beliefs, and i was actually scared for her.
now i knew enough by now that if i tried to confornt her on this issue, that would be the last i heard of her so i tried as best i could to not "blaspheme".
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troubledfiancee
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please help me help a friend
by emanresu ini am not a jw nor have i ever been one, but i joined this forum because a close firend of mine is.. we met and became good friends in the senior year of high school, and i didn't know what it meant to be a jw at the time, all i knew was that they were another christian denomination so i let it slide.. .
it was only after sometime after graduation that i began to really take my faith seriousely, and in the process i decided to do some research on watchtower beliefs, and i was actually scared for her.
now i knew enough by now that if i tried to confornt her on this issue, that would be the last i heard of her so i tried as best i could to not "blaspheme".
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troubledfiancee
Welcome emanresu,
This forum is a great resource. You'll find hundreds of accounts similar to your own here - find them and read them. The best advice I can give you is that if this person is truly very important to you, you have a lot of studying ahead of you. Learn as much as you can, and take advice from folks who have been down this road before you. Read the 2 Steven Hassan books (the first one is linked by leavingwt), find copies of the two Ray Franz books, and there are dozens of other books and online resources to find as well. You need to have a VERY thorough understanding of what you're up against.
I might also comment to you a couple of things 1) You may not ever be able to "save" this person; either from the watchtower, or to persuade them to your beliefs. 2) The WT truly is a cult and it sounds like your friend is in pretty deep, the more you pull, the greater the chance you'll loose her. 3) Lastly, helping someone out of a cult is much different that persuading them to your beliefs, so you might have to decide which is more imnportant to you; and in my opinon one is much more noble than the next.
Best of Luck and feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
-TF
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An open letter to the Governing Body: Go F*ck Yourselves.
by EntirelyPossible indear member of the governing body,.
thanks to you, i did something a few nights ago that i promised i would never do again.
i lied to someone.
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troubledfiancee
EP,
That was a well written, very touching story and a testament to the destructive power of mind control cults. Thanks so much for sharing and making yourself vulnerable, I sincerely hope it was therapeutic for you.
It’s unfortunate your thread has been hijacked by the same type of narrow-minded individuals that you’ve freed yourself from at the Kingdom Hall. Religious fanaticism takes many forms. You shouldn’t be defending yourself here. You should be experiencing acceptance and compassion from peers who understand where you’re coming from and share similar backgrounds and experiences. I know I’m relatively new here, but please ignore those posters with an agenda…
Best wishes for you and your family, and thanks again for sharing.
TF
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You Can Overcome WT Phobias!
by leavingwt inearly in the exit process, it's very important to begin overcoming irrational fears.
fear of the devil.
fear of god.
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troubledfiancee
Good bump: this is a great post. I'm attempting to help someone manage these phobias.
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WATCHTOWER IMAGES
by Quentin inuse any of these images anyway you whish, you may modify or change them as well.......quentin..... .
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anyone have any experience with ouija boards??
by finallyfree! ini think im gonna get together with some friends and do a ouija session.
anyone here have any experiences to relate?.
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Fiance's Mother is a JW
by Theseus ini am not a jehovah's witness and my fiance is a former jw.
i was also raised as a [insert generic ideological confine here], however, i managed to break away and started thinking freely, emancipated my emotions etc... suffice it to say, i understand the hardships of rebelling against an oppressive ideology against serious emotional and physical odds.
my fiance's struggle was just as difficult.
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troubledfiancee
Hi Theseus,
I sent you a Private Message. As you're a new member, to retrieve it click the mail icon at the top right of the screen. You may have to click the message once, then reload your browser and click it again - there have been problems with PM's on this board.
I would not recommend that you leave your fiancé, but it is very important that you put some time & energy into researching the Watchtower. I’m in a very similar situation as you. I ignored her prior “religion” for a long time, and wish that I had taken her past and the organization she was raised in more seriously early in our relationship.
As others have mentioned, JW’s are not a religion – as leavingwt has outlined, the organization is much, much scarier than your run-of-the-mill higher-control denomination. It will be vital to your relationship that today, as well as in the future, you do not underestimate the power of the indoctrination and conditioning that she went through during her upbringing. Unless your personal religious experience was like Waco or Jim Jones, you probably can’t relate – I certainly could not.
There are hundreds of personal accounts on this board alone of individuals who have left the Watchtower, failed to do a critical examination of mind control tactics, the blatant discrepancies in Watchtower doctrine, and the history of the organization, only to return to the cult after 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years. The most common thread for those who return after long absences is women having children. Your fiancée may believe that she is doomed at Armageddon any day now, and she may be able to accept that today. But when/ if you have children, there is a high probability that she will be compelled to return so her (your) children can have everlasting life. Search “unbelieving mate”, “UM” and other such terms on this forum for some first hand accounts of what being married to a JW is like, or to what extent the organization will go to in an effort to win child-custody battles for the believer against the unbelieving mate.
I would highly recommend speaking to some ex-witnesses, cult experts, or those who have done the research. I would be glad to speak with you, provide my reading list and web resources, but most importantly, I urge you not to underestimate the power of the emotional fear and guilt that many ex-witnesses experience, compelling them to return at some point. Lastly, I would strongly advise that you not to discuss the WT with her right away. Even as you begin uncovering all of the horrific and unbelievable stuff that goes on in the WT, don’t bring it up to her – You have to get a very solid evaluation of where she stands today before you begin discussing it with her. The first question to try and determine where she is presently: Does she consider JW’s & The Watchtower a cult? If she can't answer a definative yes, and explain why, the possiblity of returning is very high. My guess from your posts is that you may not even consider them a cult?
Let me know if I can help in any way,
TF
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Fiance's Mother is a JW
by Theseus ini am not a jehovah's witness and my fiance is a former jw.
i was also raised as a [insert generic ideological confine here], however, i managed to break away and started thinking freely, emancipated my emotions etc... suffice it to say, i understand the hardships of rebelling against an oppressive ideology against serious emotional and physical odds.
my fiance's struggle was just as difficult.
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Any Ex-JW's in The Dallas, TX DFW area?
by troubledfiancee inhi guys, i'm new to the forum.
i'm looking for anyone in the dallas area that has left jw's for any reason and has since learned the real truth about the watchtower and jw doctrine.
i've never been involved with jw myself, but my fiancee grew up as a jw and is having thoughts of going back.
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Church Signs Gone Wrong
by unshackled inpost any church signs that are funny, or with unintentional meanings, or just plain bad.... .
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