Thanks for such an honest post drwtsn32. You know as well as I do that JWs equate the WT as Jehovah's mouthpiece, this is the underpinning of being a "Jehovahs Witness." New light, Old light etc..... I've never argued otherwise on the point of the FDS. Food at the proper time etc..... I think you will never seperate the JW from the WT.
ScoobySnax
JoinedPosts by ScoobySnax
-
35
...Back from the Convention today.
by ScoobySnax inok so i braved the traffic in london all along the south circular to nw london to get to twickenham convention today.
i must admit to getting a bit freaked when the traffic ground to a halt in central london, but eventually got to the stadium.
well i only got to the sunday pm part of the programme, for the public discourse, "who are giving god glory today"....handled by a very able speaker.
-
-
-
35
...Back from the Convention today.
by ScoobySnax inok so i braved the traffic in london all along the south circular to nw london to get to twickenham convention today.
i must admit to getting a bit freaked when the traffic ground to a halt in central london, but eventually got to the stadium.
well i only got to the sunday pm part of the programme, for the public discourse, "who are giving god glory today"....handled by a very able speaker.
-
-
ScoobySnax
OK so I braved the traffic in London all along the South circular to NW London to get to Twickenham Convention today. I must admit to getting a bit freaked when the traffic ground to a halt in central London, but eventually got to the stadium. What can I say?
Well I only got to the Sunday pm part of the programme, for the public discourse, "Who are Giving God Glory Today"....handled by a very able speaker. The Stadium was not packed as it seats about 80,000 and I would guess at 40,000 there. The jist of the talk was about recognising Jehovah as the one deserving Glory. The speaker asked us to think of a Rugby sporting fixture held at Twickenham (its there home ground) and look at the pitch and imagine the glory that a player might recieve as he makes a "try" (or touchdown) for his team and the resulting elation he would feel as the crowds explode in applause. He likened this kind of glory with that which we should have for Jehovah and his creation. Many facts and figures followed, (in argument of Creation) and to whom we should accord this praise.
I still sat on the periphary watching, and I didn't see an unhappy bunch of people, I saw all sorts amongst the thousands, is it not right for me to say here that I saw real happiness and warmth in those there? I saw it, I felt it. It was real.
I risk everyone jumping on my back here to tell me how that love evaporates when you are d/f or d/a and the total cutting off of those who stray away. I guess you have to make your choice about where you're going, and what you want. It was after all just my observations today. I still don't see a place for me yet however, guess that will take some effort on my part.
-
38
The Convention/My life.
by ScoobySnax intwickenham stadium.
london.
so i'll drive up there this next coming sunday, stressed to the eyeballs with all the traffic, making wrong turns, panicking when the traffic gets too heavy in central london, wondering if i'm following the right turns, stopping and looking at my a-z, wishing my family we're still with me.
-
-
ScoobySnax
Thanks so much for all the nice replies, and pm's. Its given me lots to think about. Guess I need to get a grip of myself ....and sort my head out!
I shouldn't moan so much really, I am lucky that I've got such a loving family on the whole that are nearby, and some great friends that support me, and make me laugh, when I get into a stupid rut. I think like a couple of you on here said, you can't be all things to everybody all the time, you just end up knackering yourself out. Maybe thats the answer, sit back and take stock of what I have got, and be thankful for that. I know thats not as easy as it sounds, when I was a kid I hated peas and mum would always say when I left them on the plate, "There are people starving in Africa you know......" that may have been true, but I still didn't appreciate or like them better, they still sucked. But well you get the drift..... (hearing myself going off on a ramble again!)
Anyway point of this, was to say thanks to you all. It meant alot. Scott xx
-
38
The Convention/My life.
by ScoobySnax intwickenham stadium.
london.
so i'll drive up there this next coming sunday, stressed to the eyeballs with all the traffic, making wrong turns, panicking when the traffic gets too heavy in central london, wondering if i'm following the right turns, stopping and looking at my a-z, wishing my family we're still with me.
-
-
ScoobySnax
Thanks for your replies...... my fight really isn't with the Witnesses, or thinking about it, with gay people in bars either, diametrically opposed lifestyles, both part of mine. I just don't understand. My fight I suppose from the age of about 12 or 13 has been with myself. We are all struggling here with what to us has become our burden. Each of us holds a burden, and are sensitive to others critisism of it. Well I guess its my way of trying to explain it. I'm probably getting out of my depth here, and I realise where I am. I am grateful though for your replies. You have been so much kinder and understanding where I may have been not so in the past. Thanks for that. <<<<time for bed>>>>>
-
38
The Convention/My life.
by ScoobySnax intwickenham stadium.
london.
so i'll drive up there this next coming sunday, stressed to the eyeballs with all the traffic, making wrong turns, panicking when the traffic gets too heavy in central london, wondering if i'm following the right turns, stopping and looking at my a-z, wishing my family we're still with me.
-
-
ScoobySnax
SixofNine....... "personally I don't feel the least bit sorry for you.....etc etc" Thanks So9.... you totally missed the point. How great it must be to be so esconed in your own security of whats right. "Intellectualize your problems" yep like I never thought in 18 odd years of that. Life must be great for you. You can never "feel" enough. You truly learn this way.
-
38
The Convention/My life.
by ScoobySnax intwickenham stadium.
london.
so i'll drive up there this next coming sunday, stressed to the eyeballs with all the traffic, making wrong turns, panicking when the traffic gets too heavy in central london, wondering if i'm following the right turns, stopping and looking at my a-z, wishing my family we're still with me.
-
-
ScoobySnax
Brummie.......thanks mate. you've always been a good mate to me here and elsewhere. I really do want to be me again, and not some silly ol git at 32 who's still trying to work out where I am. I guess like I said and posted, I'm so tired of being the one on the sidelines as always. I'm fed up with trying hard to fit into one mould or the other, and never quite being either....at work I sort of come into my own, messing about and making people laugh, when I come home I feel a bit lonely sometimes......its not that I feel sorry for myself, its just that I can't stand in a nightclub with all my mates watching them all get off, and being "nice" to girls whilst making my excuses. Its too uncomfortable. They know, and try to make me feel part of it all, but well I struggle. Its like going to the meetings/conventions..... I try to fit in there too, something inside resonates with me, but I think I've moved too far away now because of the person I am. I can't fight this stuff. So I go to a bar with some gay friends, they're all copping off too.....I make my excuses and come home early. Thats not right either. Nothing seems to fit. I will try to "embrace me" when I find "me" Thanks mate, your advice is sound, I've thought about it a million times lying in bed looking at the ceiling. You're ok my friend.
BigTex...... what kind words, how nice are you. If ever you had cause to post some unkind words, it was probably coz I provoked them. I have felt hurt on this board when the constant slamming of JWs occurs, but recognise that I have illicited it sometimes by my own words in response. (the rest I just ignore!) My dad who I love alot often used to say if the subject of gays ever came up in conversation, that they deserved to be shot, he was never JW, but as a teen growing up, those words used to sting me, and got worse as I got older. I guess I saw that as attacking me personally as I have done some of the more vitrieole exjw posts here. I need to learn to let go I think, and just be me. I am trying. I am at a crossroads right now, and like you say need to work it out myself, painful or not. Thanks for wishing me well. And I'll take it slow.
-
38
The Convention/My life.
by ScoobySnax intwickenham stadium.
london.
so i'll drive up there this next coming sunday, stressed to the eyeballs with all the traffic, making wrong turns, panicking when the traffic gets too heavy in central london, wondering if i'm following the right turns, stopping and looking at my a-z, wishing my family we're still with me.
-
-
ScoobySnax
Twickenham Stadium. London. So I'll drive up there this next coming Sunday, stressed to the eyeballs with all the traffic, making wrong turns, panicking when the traffic gets too heavy in central London, wondering if I'm following the right turns, stopping and looking at my A-Z, wishing my family we're still with me. They're all inactive now, as am I. They wish me well on going, but don't want to join me. Yet I want to go. I'll stand in the stadium with thousands of others, and it feels right in so many ways, the Truth still comforts a part of me. Another part of me knows I'm not living up to what is expected, and that I'll probably never be an active JW again, and its this that sort of mirrors my life.
Never being here or there, struggling with who I am, what I want, and where I am. I'm not "in" and I'm not "out", I'm just there watching again, at a convention, in a bar, on the sidelines. I'm gay, its not gonna change, JW (but not active) Gay (but not active).......the frustration goes on......I lost myself somewhere along the way.
-
46
Can a witness receive a massage?
by JH in.
just wondering if witnesses are aloud to go and receive a massage and be touched by other than their spouse?
i'm talking about a normal clean massage here, don't get me wrong.. .
-
-
ScoobySnax
Whilst in Turkey on holiday, I decided to do a "when in Rome......do as the Romans do...." and go for a Turkish Massage........So there I was lying naked on my front with a towel covering my ass, and in walked this huge very hairy man of turkish origin and proceeded to squirt oil on me, despite my intial nervousness, it started to feel nice. Then he gestered (sp?) for me to turn over, it got way too personal after that, hands all over the shop, and I had to make my excuses and leave, chucking a few Turkish Liras in his direction. I spent the next 2 nights at the hotel bar with a haunted look on my face..........and looking sideways for a big hairy Turkish bloke.
-
40
Check your IQ in less than 13 minutes
by JH inthanks to quinah and nathan natas of another forum, here is the link to check your iq.
http://www.iqtest.com/.
it says i have an iq of 139 .
-
-
ScoobySnax
Rayzor......very true mate. Would love to discuss this more, but apparently there is something wrong with my "septic tank" now........ best Scott
-
40
Check your IQ in less than 13 minutes
by JH inthanks to quinah and nathan natas of another forum, here is the link to check your iq.
http://www.iqtest.com/.
it says i have an iq of 139 .
-
-
ScoobySnax
.... I just bought 5 certificates to send to my granny, uncle, aunt, mum........oh and 1 for my g/f Brandi...... hopefully she'll show it to others on her webcam.