YinzerDad

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Posts by YinzerDad

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  23

  "Don't think too much...."

  by Tornintwo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a couple of middle aged jw sisters dropped round unannounced the other day, they were only being kind i suppose, after some awkward silences i voiced a couple of my issues with the religion, (the safe ones), sort of an explanation as to why i'm no longer attending, namely: everyone else will die, lack of support for young ones, mistreatment/judgementalism by prominent ones who get away with it because 'they're imperfect and we have to wait on jehovah' etc.

  well, after sympathizing and telling me horror stories about awful elders and their own kids' issues in the past (how some left the truth, had bitter divorces from fellow witnesses etc) they then begged me to 'come back to jehovah', 'he misses me' apparently.

  finally, the more pushy one summed it up with 'you're thinking too much, it's not good for you', 'some issues you just have to put in a drawer and forget about....'.. hmm nice reasoning sisters, theocratic school training at its finest!

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  YinzerDad

  I realized quite quickly that I simply could not stop thinking about stuff; my brain just didn't work that way

  In other words, your brain works.
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  70

  "Most women would prefer to be stay at home housewives. Women's lib did alot of damage to women!"

  by purrpurr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the above is a quote from a jw female relative.

  this was in response to a discussion about the suffragette movement ( and the movie about it that's currently in cinemas).

  she seemed to think that it would be so much better if women were just daughters/ wives/ mothers and didn't go out to work and have career's?

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  YinzerDad

  Several thoughts.

  1) Her use of "housewives" is telling. A "housewife" almost necessarily implies subservience. Which any goose-stepping, dyed-in-the wool Dub is going to eat up.

  2) Feeding off of No. 1, subservience is the theme of Dub-ism. I remember well any complaints I voiced over my fiance (now wife) to my mother regarding managing certain issues being met with "the woman is the weaker vessel." As a man, nothing got me fired up more than hearing that. Women aren't incompetents. They're people. Yet the pervasive, repetitive drivel getting heaped upon the everyday Dub says that women are essentially lesser.

  3) This and the blood issue is why I will fight, tooth and nail, to keep my family from indoctrinating my daughter. Her life will be difficult enough as a woman. She doesn't need additional institutional religio-misogynism to trip her up. Which will also make her complete b*tch to any boys that come around. Which will be fantastic.
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  30

  I put up lights this year

  by Zoos in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have always wanted to do that.. nothing special.

  in fact, i have learned i'm not very good at it.

  i have many talents.

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  YinzerDad

  I especially look forward to it. Several lost year to be made up by outdecorating the neighbors!
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  1

  WaPo Article Re: JWs and Russia

  by YinzerDad in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  andrew roth of the washington post ran this article today (11/23/15): .

  https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/sixteen-jehovahs-witnesses-may-be-russias-most-pacifist-extremists/2015/11/20/6e046610-8898-11e5-bd91-d385b244482f_story.html?tid=sm_fb.

  i'll just leave this link here.

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  YinzerDad

  Andrew Roth of the Washington Post ran this article today (11/23/15):

  https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/sixteen-jehovahs-witnesses-may-be-russias-most-pacifist-extremists/2015/11/20/6e046610-8898-11e5-bd91-d385b244482f_story.html?tid=sm_fb

  I'll just leave this link here. Make what you will of it.
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  31

  The Thief of Always

  by YinzerDad in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  prologue... .

  a brief precursor about myself.

  i've been lurking around for almost 2 years.

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  YinzerDad

  My Name is of No Consequence:
  
  With a username like that, you have to be from Pittsburgh.

  
  

  That is correct, though not originally from here so... not exactly a Yinzer.
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  31

  The Thief of Always

  by YinzerDad in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  prologue... .

  a brief precursor about myself.

  i've been lurking around for almost 2 years.

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  YinzerDad

  Thank you all for your perspectives. I do realize time is on my side, which I am grateful for. This is just a struggle I never really envisioned. I'm not usually a very emotional person, but the question really struck me at my core. I'm glad I have somewhere to share it. Plus, writing is therapeutic. Somehow it's easier to wrangle and mater feelings with the written word instead of the spoken word.

  Thank you for your thoughts.
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  31

  The Thief of Always

  by YinzerDad in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  prologue... .

  a brief precursor about myself.

  i've been lurking around for almost 2 years.

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  YinzerDad

  Prologue...

  A brief precursor about myself. I've been lurking around for almost 2 years. I'm 31 and was a born-in, but unbaptized member. My parents were fairly gung-ho about anything Watchtower related and of my three older siblings, I have one sister that is still in and was, at one point, a baptized publisher and special pioneer. When faced with baptism after studying the "Knowledge" book, I realized that there was no backing out after I took the plunge, so... I simply elected to not do it. I went to college, partied and experienced quite a bit of freedom... that I was ultimately unprepared to deal with. Now I'm married and have a small child. We don't have anything to do with the Witnesses but I'm realizing there are quite a few residual problems starting to pop up that come along with growing up Dub...

  The Thief of Always

  When I was in 7th grade our English/Grammar teacher assigned the book "The Thief of Always" by Clive Barker (check out the Wiki article) to us for a reading assignment. The gist of the story is that a young man by the name of Harvey Swick realizes how unhappy he is in the world. Then, one day, a man named Rictus flies up to Harvey's bedroom window and introduces him to this wonderful place called the Holiday House. The Holiday House is a place of perpetual fun, a place with Christmas and Halloween every day... essentially a place where every childlike desire can be fulfilled. So, Harvey, being as gullible as a child can be, decides to follow Rictus to the Holiday House. Harvey steps through a mist like fog and, lo and behold, there it is. Everything Rictus promised. At the outset, Harvey had quite a bit of fun and even made some new friends. He ended up staying for about a month, really a blink of the eye in the big scheme of things. But after a while, the reality of the situation started to shine through to Harvey and he realized that Holiday House wasn't everything it was cracked up to be. Harvey realized that the House's creator, Mr. Hood, was actually imprisoning the children and sucking their souls away. So, Harvey decides (and actually manages) to escape. But once he gets back to the old world he realizes that his parents have aged drastically and he's basically missed out on his entire life...

  I won't spoil the ending, but... sound familiar?

  I'm Approaching 32 and in Group Therapy

  Well, there it is. I've been attending a group therapy session for the past 2 months because I have anxiety and depression I just can't shake. So, it's helpful for me to talk to others about it. In speaking with the therapist, I realized the crux of most of my issues stem from... you guessed it, being raised in a high-control religious setting. But, until last night, it didn't really hit home. Our therapy sessions usually have a theme. Last week, we took turns role-playing the therapist. This week, we were put on the spot and asked to sing a song (kind of like karaoke). The purpose is to make us uncomfortable as a means to get us to honestly assess our current situation. After one group member got up and sang, the discussion started. 'Why aren't you getting up and singing? When has this happened at other times in your life? When have you been too afraid to make a choice and missed out on an opportunity?' For many in the room, it wasn't an issue of missing out on an opportunity, but rather making decisions that didn't work out for the best. One person in particular made a series of poor decisions and is having a difficult time mentally recovering from the consequences. But he then offered to us a certain hobby that he does that gives him a great sense of passion. Something that, when he does it, he does well and he's in the zone. He has the proverbial fire in his belly.

  The therapist turned to me and asked "YinzerDad, what gives you this fire in your belly?" I broke down. 31 years old and I burst into tears in front of complete strangers. Because I've never been confronted with the reality into which my upbringing placed me. "I don't know. I don't have anything I'm passionate about... because growing up I was never afforded the opportunity to plan for this point in my life. I ride to work every day to cash a check. I'm not passionate about my job. I have no plans for my future."

  Because I was taught, from an early age that I wouldn't live in this world this long. I was promised a Holiday House (sans those pesky pagan holidays!) where everything is perfect. And it was great. Until I realized that not everything was as it seems. I found Mr. Hood and I didn't like how he treated people. So I left. But once I finally managed to break through the mist surrounding my own personal Holiday House, I realized that life was passing me by. And I didn't know how to cope with it. And I still don't know how, but I'm trying...

  The Thieves of Always?

  We talk a lot on this forum about how the WTBS mentally enslaves people by hijacking family relationships and hiding pedophile abuse. Which is all true and all very serious. But it also robs us of things we can't get back: time and imagination. I can reinvent my career right now if I choose. Gods willing I have 50 or 60 more years on this earth. But some people can't. Like those in their 70s or 80s that have seen the "generation" teaching get so freaking bright they just can't see anymore. Or don't care to. What I can't get back is my childlike ability to imagine what I want to be when I grow up. Because that's what kids do. And it is a fundamental point in childhood development because that's when you develop a passion for something. It could be a passion for leadership, for sports... something. I was never afforded the opportunity to do that. Because the end was nigh. When studying the "Knowledge" book, I asked the Elder "When is the end going to happen."

  His response, "We don't know when, but soon."

  "Will I graduate high school?", I asked.

  "That's debatable."

  "College?"

  "Probably not."

  Well, I did graduate college. And graduate school. And now, I'm 31, at a perfunctory job, attending group therapy and honestly cannot answer the question "What are you passionate about?" Because I was robbed of something I can never get back.

  Thanks for reading.
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  211

  Where are you from?

  by BeautifulMind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know we are all anonymous for our own personal reasons, so i understand if you would rather not say.

  but if you don't mind sharing that would be cool.

  i currently live in georgia, usa.

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  YinzerDad

  Pittsburgh but originally southern WV
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  47

  Suicide or Real Freedom? - My Story As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses

  by dubstepped in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  "sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".

  those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.

  what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?

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  YinzerDad

  Mike,

  You have a gift for the written word. Don't know if anyone's ever told you that. That's a great read and you perfectly explain what I've been struggling to for several years now to my wife and now my therapy group.

  Thank you for sharing.
• 
  137

  Something interesting!

  by John Aquila in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was invited to a small get-together by a long time friend.

  we both served as elders for years.

  he is in his late 70s.

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  YinzerDad

  "The attitude of "to hell with this sh*t, I'm not living my life like this," is not new to the newer teenage "Facebook Generation." Not at all. In the 1990's, my generation was totally FED UP with the over-the-top rules about dating, no education, no extra-circular activities, and being made a laughing stock out of at school. 95% of the JW's I grew up with, LEFT - permanently - never to return."

  This. I was done before I ever got started. No college, no friends, no fun? Sounds like a winning marketing strategy to me! And looking back after 16 years, it really sounds like something I'd like to involve my wife and one year old child in as well.