YinzerDad

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Posts by YinzerDad

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  31

  The Thief of Always

  by YinzerDad in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  prologue... .

  a brief precursor about myself.

  i've been lurking around for almost 2 years.

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  YinzerDad

  My Name is of No Consequence:
  
  With a username like that, you have to be from Pittsburgh.

  
  

  That is correct, though not originally from here so... not exactly a Yinzer.
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  31

  The Thief of Always

  by YinzerDad in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  prologue... .

  a brief precursor about myself.

  i've been lurking around for almost 2 years.

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  YinzerDad

  Thank you all for your perspectives. I do realize time is on my side, which I am grateful for. This is just a struggle I never really envisioned. I'm not usually a very emotional person, but the question really struck me at my core. I'm glad I have somewhere to share it. Plus, writing is therapeutic. Somehow it's easier to wrangle and mater feelings with the written word instead of the spoken word.

  Thank you for your thoughts.
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  31

  The Thief of Always

  by YinzerDad in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  prologue... .

  a brief precursor about myself.

  i've been lurking around for almost 2 years.

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  YinzerDad

  Prologue...

  A brief precursor about myself. I've been lurking around for almost 2 years. I'm 31 and was a born-in, but unbaptized member. My parents were fairly gung-ho about anything Watchtower related and of my three older siblings, I have one sister that is still in and was, at one point, a baptized publisher and special pioneer. When faced with baptism after studying the "Knowledge" book, I realized that there was no backing out after I took the plunge, so... I simply elected to not do it. I went to college, partied and experienced quite a bit of freedom... that I was ultimately unprepared to deal with. Now I'm married and have a small child. We don't have anything to do with the Witnesses but I'm realizing there are quite a few residual problems starting to pop up that come along with growing up Dub...

  The Thief of Always

  When I was in 7th grade our English/Grammar teacher assigned the book "The Thief of Always" by Clive Barker (check out the Wiki article) to us for a reading assignment. The gist of the story is that a young man by the name of Harvey Swick realizes how unhappy he is in the world. Then, one day, a man named Rictus flies up to Harvey's bedroom window and introduces him to this wonderful place called the Holiday House. The Holiday House is a place of perpetual fun, a place with Christmas and Halloween every day... essentially a place where every childlike desire can be fulfilled. So, Harvey, being as gullible as a child can be, decides to follow Rictus to the Holiday House. Harvey steps through a mist like fog and, lo and behold, there it is. Everything Rictus promised. At the outset, Harvey had quite a bit of fun and even made some new friends. He ended up staying for about a month, really a blink of the eye in the big scheme of things. But after a while, the reality of the situation started to shine through to Harvey and he realized that Holiday House wasn't everything it was cracked up to be. Harvey realized that the House's creator, Mr. Hood, was actually imprisoning the children and sucking their souls away. So, Harvey decides (and actually manages) to escape. But once he gets back to the old world he realizes that his parents have aged drastically and he's basically missed out on his entire life...

  I won't spoil the ending, but... sound familiar?

  I'm Approaching 32 and in Group Therapy

  Well, there it is. I've been attending a group therapy session for the past 2 months because I have anxiety and depression I just can't shake. So, it's helpful for me to talk to others about it. In speaking with the therapist, I realized the crux of most of my issues stem from... you guessed it, being raised in a high-control religious setting. But, until last night, it didn't really hit home. Our therapy sessions usually have a theme. Last week, we took turns role-playing the therapist. This week, we were put on the spot and asked to sing a song (kind of like karaoke). The purpose is to make us uncomfortable as a means to get us to honestly assess our current situation. After one group member got up and sang, the discussion started. 'Why aren't you getting up and singing? When has this happened at other times in your life? When have you been too afraid to make a choice and missed out on an opportunity?' For many in the room, it wasn't an issue of missing out on an opportunity, but rather making decisions that didn't work out for the best. One person in particular made a series of poor decisions and is having a difficult time mentally recovering from the consequences. But he then offered to us a certain hobby that he does that gives him a great sense of passion. Something that, when he does it, he does well and he's in the zone. He has the proverbial fire in his belly.

  The therapist turned to me and asked "YinzerDad, what gives you this fire in your belly?" I broke down. 31 years old and I burst into tears in front of complete strangers. Because I've never been confronted with the reality into which my upbringing placed me. "I don't know. I don't have anything I'm passionate about... because growing up I was never afforded the opportunity to plan for this point in my life. I ride to work every day to cash a check. I'm not passionate about my job. I have no plans for my future."

  Because I was taught, from an early age that I wouldn't live in this world this long. I was promised a Holiday House (sans those pesky pagan holidays!) where everything is perfect. And it was great. Until I realized that not everything was as it seems. I found Mr. Hood and I didn't like how he treated people. So I left. But once I finally managed to break through the mist surrounding my own personal Holiday House, I realized that life was passing me by. And I didn't know how to cope with it. And I still don't know how, but I'm trying...

  The Thieves of Always?

  We talk a lot on this forum about how the WTBS mentally enslaves people by hijacking family relationships and hiding pedophile abuse. Which is all true and all very serious. But it also robs us of things we can't get back: time and imagination. I can reinvent my career right now if I choose. Gods willing I have 50 or 60 more years on this earth. But some people can't. Like those in their 70s or 80s that have seen the "generation" teaching get so freaking bright they just can't see anymore. Or don't care to. What I can't get back is my childlike ability to imagine what I want to be when I grow up. Because that's what kids do. And it is a fundamental point in childhood development because that's when you develop a passion for something. It could be a passion for leadership, for sports... something. I was never afforded the opportunity to do that. Because the end was nigh. When studying the "Knowledge" book, I asked the Elder "When is the end going to happen."

  His response, "We don't know when, but soon."

  "Will I graduate high school?", I asked.

  "That's debatable."

  "College?"

  "Probably not."

  Well, I did graduate college. And graduate school. And now, I'm 31, at a perfunctory job, attending group therapy and honestly cannot answer the question "What are you passionate about?" Because I was robbed of something I can never get back.

  Thanks for reading.
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  211

  Where are you from?

  by BeautifulMind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know we are all anonymous for our own personal reasons, so i understand if you would rather not say.

  but if you don't mind sharing that would be cool.

  i currently live in georgia, usa.

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  YinzerDad

  Pittsburgh but originally southern WV
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  47

  Suicide or Real Freedom? - My Story As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses

  by dubstepped in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  "sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".

  those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.

  what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?

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  YinzerDad

  Mike,

  You have a gift for the written word. Don't know if anyone's ever told you that. That's a great read and you perfectly explain what I've been struggling to for several years now to my wife and now my therapy group.

  Thank you for sharing.
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  137

  Something interesting!

  by John Aquila in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was invited to a small get-together by a long time friend.

  we both served as elders for years.

  he is in his late 70s.

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  YinzerDad

  "The attitude of "to hell with this sh*t, I'm not living my life like this," is not new to the newer teenage "Facebook Generation." Not at all. In the 1990's, my generation was totally FED UP with the over-the-top rules about dating, no education, no extra-circular activities, and being made a laughing stock out of at school. 95% of the JW's I grew up with, LEFT - permanently - never to return."

  This. I was done before I ever got started. No college, no friends, no fun? Sounds like a winning marketing strategy to me! And looking back after 16 years, it really sounds like something I'd like to involve my wife and one year old child in as well.
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  51

  How bad do the JWs need to be doing financially

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  before they just go ahead and file chapter 7 or 11?

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  YinzerDad

  To sue the parent company, the plaintiff would need to demonstrate one of two things: (1) the parent company caused the damages directly or (2) the parent company exercised enough control over the subsidiary that caused the damages to blur the lines between the corporate entities. Control would be things like: (a) directives, (b) shared bank accounts, (c) shared trade names, (d) shared property... etc. etc. Something to make the corporate structures look farcical. My suspicion is that the Pennsylvania society was dropped out of the Conti suit because the plaintiff couldn't tie it to the damage caused. But that's suspicion. I haven't read the filings or the case.
  
  As to when the WTBS could go bankrupt... it's a question of when they have too many creditors to pay. Right now, it doesn't seem they've done anything more than fleece local congregations out of a ton of money and mismanage some construction projects (child abuse debacle aside). I'm not sure who the creditors are, but if we're talking about bank mortgages, construction/materialmens liens on local KH or WTBS corporate campus... those liens are specific to property (at least in the U.S.) So the first step would be for the bank to foreclose on the building itself. The only way the bank/construction company gets to go after other assets is if there is a deficiency between the foreclosure sale price and the judgment/lien sum. Other than a bank or construction company, I'm not sure who WTBS is borrowing from? May have had some revolving credit lines but so long as the debt remains under a certain percentage of the total line and the monthly payments are met, the bank isn't going to care. Which leads me to...
  
  Child abuse suits. Child abuse victims pose a huge threat to the finances of the WTBS because if they are able to go to court and win, they are going to go straight for any and all corporate assets when the judgments are executed. If I were a betting man, I would say the consolidation of resources, the sudden liquidity of billion dollar properties and the halting of construction projects is being done as a pre-emptive measure against a perceived flood of lawsuits. If Australia, with roughly 70,000 witnesses had 1,000+ unreported child abuse cases (being roughly 1.7% of witnesses there) then imagine what the U.S. would be at the same percentage and 1.2 million witnesses? 20,000+ cases. Whether the numbers hold true, I don't know. But if I were in the position of the WTBS, I don't know that I'd want to litigate it and find out.

  They'll try to settle all at once with large cash distributions. And if they can't... you've got potentially a billion dollars worth of judgment creditors wanting paid every single penny they're owed. THAT could force them into bankruptcy. So, it's a question of how quickly those suits materialize, if at all.
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  13

  I registered to vote yesterday.

  by Zoos in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i had to take the drivers license was up for renewal so while filling out the paperwork, i checked the motor voter box.

  (explanation of motor voter: https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=utf-8#q=motor%20voter%20law ).

  they already had all my information.

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  YinzerDad

  I was always big into politics, even though it was of "the world". I finally told my mom I didn't want to attend the Kingdom Hall anymore when I was about 15. Later that year in school I signed up for the Hi-Y Youth in Government weekend where high schoolers across the state gathered at the state capitol and got to be pretend legislators/governors for a day. We drafted bills and voted and made speeches. Fun stuff for a political junkie.

  To start the weekend off we gathered in the House chamber and listened to the Governor (the actual Governor, Bob Wise at the time) speak. He led us all in the Pledge of Allegiance. So, in open defiance of the WTBS (take that!) I stood up, slapped my hand across my heart and pledged my allegiance to Old Glory! It felt great. It felt even better when I got home and my mom comes storming up to me and said "You pledged allegiance to the flag?! You were on the local news! Elder Joe and my sister both called to tell me!"

  It's all about the little victories.
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  10

  Where are they now? Long, lost JWs

  by Bro-jo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if it has not already been done, i would like to introduce a new topic.

  for me, i would like to know the whereabouts and what's up with some of my former friends and acquaintances.

  to start: some folks i used to be close to at cape cod mass: bob and pam fragosa , dick and valerie davis, charles harutunian (sic).

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  YinzerDad

  Anyone ever have Barry McKenzie as a Circuit Overseer? He was in WV in the early - mid 90s. He was a funny man and I always thought he kind of shot from the hip as opposed to some of the stickers that came through.
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  42

  i feel more confused than ever

  by BlackWolf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well i know i've been posting a lot of topics like this lately and i'm sorry if i sound whiny or annoying.

  my parents were asking me why i was so upset lately and i ended up just telling them the whole truth.

  i told them i don't believe in god or the bible because i don't have any evidence of anything.

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  YinzerDad

  Longtime reader, first time poster...

  Blackwolf,

  You're getting some pretty sound advice here. Being that you aren't baptized, you have the upside of not being disfellowship. You have the downside of your parents dragging Elders into it and potentially "advising" you into studying for Baptism. At least that's the route my parents (specifically my mother) took when, one Tuesday evening before the weekly bible study I informed my mother (dad wasn't home from work yet) that I no longer wanted to go to meetings. Ever.

  Her response? "DON'T YOU LOVE JEHOVAH YOUR CREATOR ANY MORE?! HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL?" <insert tears and hysterics> (her, not me).

  So I begrudgingly relented and went. (What her feelings had to do with it, I'll never know. But she's crazy and i wanted her to shut up.) That night, after dad got home, he said "Your mother told me what you said. You know our relationship with God is important. And if you want our relationship as father and son to remain strong, you need to keep a relationship with God."

  That hurt. It also made me angry. I kept my mouth shut.

  A week later one of the younger elders approached me after the Sunday meeting and said " I hear you're interested in studying for baptism?" Um? I am? Little did I realize until later that my mother was enlisting the full power and might of His loving organization to manipulate me. Fortunately, I did have the good sense to passively resist. (Thanks Ghandi). Went through the study and coaxed out of him that if I got baptized, i could only then be disfellowshiped. Otherwise i wasnt truly a Jehovah's Witness. Not a smart thing to tell an aspiring lawyer. I saw my opening and took it. After the study finished, I agreed with the elder that I would think about baptism.

  Fast forward 16 years. I've been through college, law school am happily married with a child and... am not a Jehovah's Witness and don't attend the Kingdom Hall. And I never will again. I last went before I moved out from home and went to college.

  My point in telling you this is (1) you aren't alone, (2) Don't underestimate the Orgs ability to undermine your closest relationships to other Dubs and, (3) passive, constant resistance works. Im not saying go full-on dead weight. But I am saying you make a decision and set a goal in your mind's eye and don't lose sight of it. Then, do something between floating along and treading water until you get your chance to split. It works so well and can frustrate dyed in the wool Dubs so much... that it will push them to a breaking point. And once that happens, you win. Because at that point, they've lost control. I did it for two years and avoided baptism by passively attending meetings and conventions... and silently plotting my life while the brothers and sister drone on and on and on....

  You've got three years until you need to move from their legal protection. Bide your time and pick your battles. And whatever you do, don't get baptized. It's a contract you have no business entering into and is literally the point of no return.

  Good luck and please keep us updated.