SafeAtHome

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Posts by SafeAtHome

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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

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  SafeAtHome

  Wow, you guys are overwhelming me. My internet has been out since last night and I am was passing the library so thought i would pop in to read if anyone else posted. Man, who needs a therapist with all of you? Hopefully my connection will be up later this evening and I will catch up on the comments.

  For the one who asked, yes, I love him, and I don't want to see him get hurt either, if this hasn't gone too far and it can be helped. I also don't want to be in a position of always being able to hold this over him, that would become a wedge between us. I would love to resolve this with as little drama as possible, if it's not too late. That's why my original question was should I tell him I know, so as to "nip it in the bud" as Barney Fife would say.
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
  2. 
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  SafeAtHome

  You're right, of course. I really don't want to know what they are saying. I would never be able to forget or get that out of my mind. Thanks for the voices of reason.
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  SafeAtHome

  Nickolas: You write beautifully, I felt I was reading the synopsis of a novel. No, this is not an internet affair, they just communicate by email since they see each other once or twice a week in a work situation. Yes, I am leaving broad hints, but I don't think he is thinking with his brain right now.

  skeeter1, yes that is why I debated about saying anything because I feel it is the secrecy that adds to the excitement. I'm not the type for a face to face with her. During my first divorce 27 years ago, my lawyer told me that if I keep nothing else, keep my dignity. I'm afraid I'd lose it in a face to face when I would tear hers off!

  Does anyone out there know about the software that can be installed on a computer to detect passwords? Is it safe or easy to install? I have read reviews on several programs, but don't want to do anything to screw up my computer.
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  SafeAtHome

  Yes, I am in a community property state, I have a cousin who is an attorney who could answer my questions, but as I said, I am not mentioning it to anyone else yet, just one friend. His first marriage lasted about two years, 35 years ago, so she would not be in the picture at all.

  tec: Yes, I know for sure, let's say he is not computer savvy and the thing just popped out at me, leading to further investigation to discover who she was. Gosh, you guys are great, asking great questions, covering the bases for me.
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
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  SafeAtHome

  Robdar: Marital Misconduct! That's too politically correct! That is funny, like Sarah Palin's "lipstick on a pig" terminology!
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  SafeAtHome

  elderelite: Holy crap, you are an elder! Well, I'm thinking about you telling me to be brave and confront it, but then I think, look who's talking, an elder posting on this site and can't come clean with leaving the JW's......but then I think, no you have your reasons for not rocking the boat and letting it all hit the fan....so who better to empathize with what the mixed things going through my brain. Believe me, I feel for you and what you must go thru stepping into the Kingdom Hall and then posting here. You sound very kind and reasonable, the kind of elder my dad was, back so many years ago. You've given me much to ponder.
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  SafeAtHome

  elderelite: I guess I am a coward. Nothing to lose but the way of life I am used to and a roof over my head. But I am sure most of you would say, well is this the type of life I want to live? No, I hate this, I really do. Were you really an elder? It's weird talking to an elder like a real person, not someone who has put themselves above a lowly woman and telling me to wait on Jah and subject myself, pray more, do more service, blah, blah, blah. See, I haven't lost my sense of humor! It's been 26 years since I have been away from that scene.
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  SafeAtHome

  Another thing, I know it is weighing on his conscience. Sometimes I'll see him sitting on the patio with his newspaper but he will be staring off into space. Or he will be particularly chatty, which he is not, after using the computer. That's when it's hard to hold back the sarcasm and come out with it.
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  SafeAtHome

  Thanks for the additional comments. AGuest, you gave me much food for thought. You know, I have been dropping hints you could drive a car through, but he is either clueless, or continues to think I am clueless. That's the thing, finding a way to let him know I know without a confrontation.

  jamiebowers, you sound like what my friend said. a,b, and c are all so true. Hey, I think I'm going to meet you when you guys all get together on August 27 in Akron.

  One of the hardest things is I have to time this right so our daughter is not home when this all hits the fan. She would go ballistic and I can't handle that on top of everything.

  FHN, your mom sounds like a take charge woman!
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  118

  Question for the men

  by SafeAtHome in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.

  if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?

  would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  SafeAtHome

  mrsjones5: I feel like I have just been given a giant hug. Thank You