But you have your own definition of apostate. I am not an apostate.
I was a pioneer, I was a bethelite, I was of 'missionary' status, I was used for district assemblies, I was not disfellowshipped, I was asked to stop attending after I enquired about The Watchtower Society owning a military company via the stock market (Rand Cam) and had issues with them having an NGO status with the UN.
I did leave following much research and painful realities, I am now 33, a trainee medical doctor and of no religious leaning. My intetrests are only for what is evidently true. Despite what the 8 men in Brooklyn say, you can trist your own mind and thinking, so start using it. Those men are humans too, if they can think, you can!
I will leave you be now, but feel free to PM me, I advise you read the book by Governing Body Member R.Franz who left the organisation following a "Crisis of Conscience" (also the name of his memoirs) after becoming a member of the Governing Body and seeing how the organisatiom was run.
I wish you well in your search for the real truth, my only advice would be to keep your mind open, trust nobody but yourself (only you know your motives, you dont know other peoples) and seek and actually, physically, literally read all the information yourself. DONT TRUST QUOTES OR SUMMARIES, read the original sources yourself.
All the best x