Firstly.... you must have married him in a short period of time to not know who he was to,this degree, This isn’t totally your fault, that’s not what I am saying, the JW’s push marriage on all the single people to promote more numbers in the org, however in order to own the issue and NEVER make the same mistake again, own this decision and own the error that it was to marry someone you didn’t know.
Secondly, you are 34......... you have barely begun and can easily meet someone else! I didn’t meet my gf until I was 35.
We can’t learn from our mistakes if we don’t own them. Once you own it you can get on with your life. Accept that the JW’s haven’t got it right, that the marriage wasn’t for the best and that there is life after Watchtower and divorce.
Incidentally, depression and mental health issues can befall anyone at any time and fluctuate in severity. It’s an illness and the JW’s perspective on mental health is shameful. Most people suffer depression and mental torment during their life.