The only way I could deal with the incredible stress of being an elder, changing doctrines, etc was BOOZE. I was getting serious about suicide as my only relief, even though I had a wife and two small children. My health was horrible, bleeding ulcers and wound up in the hospital due to my alcoholism.
The BOE was reluctant to let me step down until I simply told them I quit.
That was 5 years ago. No meetings since then. I am sober, happy and calm.
I don't know how to link a post here, but search for a post I started 'Another Elder', my story is on page 3