Thanks to everyone!! i got some PMs and it feels great to be able to connect with people who understand exactly how i am feeling... believe me, i read every post and i am trying my best... i am still in the middle of deciding if i do believe in God or not... i want to... but i don't know yet... but what i do believe is that i am getting to know some great people here!! thank u soo much!! i am still feeling down today, but when i sat in my bed read your emails, i almost cry of joy! thanks!!
Free!!
JoinedPosts by Free!!
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32
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
by Free!! insorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent..... i hate the fact that i allow jws to control me for so long and now i have no friends!
i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but jw ruined my social skills... .
i want to scream!!!
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32
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
by Free!! insorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent..... i hate the fact that i allow jws to control me for so long and now i have no friends!
i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but jw ruined my social skills... .
i want to scream!!!
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Free!!
Thanks guys..... i really appreciate your words...
I love to travel, i am a loyal friend and i would die for my friends (the few i have), i am an awesome cook :) and i think i can be a sweet person.....
Being nerdy can be cool, but i am insecure too.... so scare of life... wish i could do something to snap out of it!
i took some sleeping aids i hope they take effect soon... thanks everyone.....
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32
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
by Free!! insorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent..... i hate the fact that i allow jws to control me for so long and now i have no friends!
i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but jw ruined my social skills... .
i want to scream!!!
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Free!!
@tal... thanks for the chuckle and nite nite
@FHN... Like tal said, i was trying to be perfect for so long i forgot about being human.... even when my friends tell me why they hang out w me i dont believe it.... but that would be a good exercise.... let's see, before i started hanging out w the dubs... and became one.... i was (am):
A quick thinker
Smart
A good listener
A nurturer
Problem solver (other people's problems not mine)
Responsible
Funny
That's what i have so far... i have always being kind of nerdy... so...
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32
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
by Free!! insorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent..... i hate the fact that i allow jws to control me for so long and now i have no friends!
i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but jw ruined my social skills... .
i want to scream!!!
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Free!!
Thanks tal! I thought about the same thing... maybe like you said i am still judging people in my mind, but my best friend is a pill-poping, chain smoking, tattooed, fast car (w shady business) type of guy... and believe me i dont judge him at all!!
I think is more about your latter statement, i need to accept and love myself first, is like FHN said, i know there is a cool, fun, independent chick somewhere inside of me, but i cant find her! i dont know why is so hard!!! :(
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32
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
by Free!! insorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent..... i hate the fact that i allow jws to control me for so long and now i have no friends!
i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but jw ruined my social skills... .
i want to scream!!!
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Free!!
I knew i could post here and at least get some support, i am literally to the point of tears right now...
@Dudu i converted as a teen, i was going thru a really hard time and i had to move w my grandma who is a JW, i was so thankful to her that i started studying and felt trapped... i was to deep into the mud when i woke up... i think i was 17 when i started studying...
I wish i could fast forward thru all of this and finally feel like i belong.. that's my problem i dont feel like i belong anywhere...
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32
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
by Free!! insorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent..... i hate the fact that i allow jws to control me for so long and now i have no friends!
i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but jw ruined my social skills... .
i want to scream!!!
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Free!!
The worst part is that i put this barrier and cant let people in.... one of my wordly friends told me that... i thought he didnt notice but he told me straight and clear, "why dont you let me in?" i did not know what to say... is super hard... and the worst part is that i am letting go of great people because i am so afraid of getting hurt (all the worldly ones are bad mentality)..... i dont even have a boyfriend to rely on... so i feel even MORE alone :(
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28
Angry mob of Facebook JWs.
by fade_away ini was looking through my facebook and one of the friends i have on there is very angry at a particular girl who added brothers and sisters from different congregations as friends for the sole purpose of bashing the jws on their profiles.
they use the word "bashing" but who knows really if all she was doing was showing them genuine, unbiased information about the wt.
anyway, i got a kick out of the fact that an "apostate" infiltrated a lot of jw profiles as a "friend" then went all apostate on them!.
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Free!!
I thought there had been talks about NOT using FBs, why are these holly than thou people using the tool of Satan???!!
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32
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
by Free!! insorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent..... i hate the fact that i allow jws to control me for so long and now i have no friends!
i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but jw ruined my social skills... .
i want to scream!!!
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Free!!
almost 2 years... but i am dork!! they made me like that :(
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32
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
by Free!! insorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent..... i hate the fact that i allow jws to control me for so long and now i have no friends!
i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but jw ruined my social skills... .
i want to scream!!!
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Free!!
Sorry, i am just feeling alone and needed to vent....
I hate the fact that i allow JWs to control me for so long and now i have no friends! i mean, i do have a few, but at moments like this when my head is spinning like a thousand miles per hour, there is noone i can call and trust and talk to.... my friends all have their lives, and the few that i can call, i am afraid to do so... again, i know i said this before, but JW ruined my social skills...
I want to scream!!!
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49
Anyone wanna place a bet on what will happen to me when I have to go to the Kingdom Hall this Saturday??
by Coffee House Girl inwell since there is no "betting" (as it reeks of gambling) in jdub land, lets place a friendly wager on what will happen to me when i go to my father's "memorial" service at the kingdome hall this saturday..... to give you newbies background info: i am neither df'd or da'd- i left 2 years ago with no explanation.
i have been hounded by elders in my cong because they have suspicions that i am living with a man, but they have no proof (well, no proof in jdub land- you know...two witness rule).
after many attempts to get me to meet with them- i finally sent the elders a "cease & desist" letter after one of them spied in my miniblinds to see me eating breakfast with someone (they couldn't identify who).
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Free!!
first, i am sorry about your loss..... cannot even imaging how hard it is....
Second, can i please place 2 bets? i say B and C, you'll see some of the JWs are going to love bomb you, while other (elders) are going to "lovingly" tell you they would like to have a meeting with you... either case.. the can Fck themselves.... is your time for grieving and no one should try to take that moment (saying Goodbye to your dad) to try to beat you into falling for a cult... js