Spider - you've done a great thing. Thank you for posting this. Due to my own pain as of late, I only do a quick span of the board and I'm so thankful that you brought this to everyone's attention.
hugs, Salem
Mimilly
JoinedPosts by Mimilly
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12
FOR GODS SAKE!!!!!
by spider in.
won't you shut up with all your arguing for ten minutes and concentrate on the threads that really matter.
people are hurting and you can't hear it for all the shouting in here.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=35125&site=3
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my global statement
by lauralisa ini am so off this planet.. i have had so much therapy in the past, i dunno, forty years, that it makes me "sick".. i have learned to speak in cognitive-speak.
i have learned to think in cognitive-speak.. i have survived jw-endorsed "therapy": a jw-sanctioned therapist in northern virginia who could "cure" dissociative disorders in just a few sessions.
she learned this technique from the "society" and therefore, did not charge for her services.
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Mimilly
Lauralisa - sweetheart, you emailed me when I didn't think I could make it through the night. Please check your email. It's amazing how people who are hurting can still find it to help others who are hurting. You are so right, we are alike.
I hope this is a reaching and venting post. I more than hope. I know what it feels like. That's why I'm worrying.
hugs sweetheart, we hope to hear from you soon
Salem
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Westerfield guilty!!!!
by writerpen inbreaking.
news
california jury finds david westerfield guilty in the kidnapping and murder of 7-year-old danielle van dam.
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Mimilly
Oh goody. God only knows what agony little Danielle went through, and Westerfield will get a sterilized needle and go to sleep.
I say set him loose in the general inmate population and let nature take it's course. Dude needs to know what it feels like to be prey before it all goes dark.
Mimilly
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A piece of me reaching out...
by Mimilly ini have been laying on my bed for awhile now, trying very hard to just stay still.
today, i left this board for a break.
while typing it out, there was a steak knife at my side (from cleaning guck out of the mouse), but it beckoned me.
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Mimilly
Well, I was wrong - about the weather that is. It appears I am still living in hell. Saw my doctor, got my meds, chatted with folks I didn't know and barely made it up my street at the end of it. It appears that mother nature thinks we should now grow gills to adapt to this humidity.
I'm taking the night off here. I'll be somewhere else with AC and no kids to referree. That being said, I'll be back. This place is home and I consider my lesson learned... don't touch the flames cos you might get burned! Hmm, a childhood lesson takes on a whole new meaning.
Your replies continue to overwelm me, and I will be replying to emails - just not tonight. Bit of a migraine here, and as I look outside, the sky is turning very dark. Perhaps the mother of all thunderstorms will hit - now that I've got the chance to get some AC, mother nature and her bottle of 151proof will cause a power outage. (come on... gotta laugh at the possibilities here )
I will touch base with you tomorrow and I will carry your thoughts and words with me 'til then.
You really have helped me, and I want each of you to know that.
Salem
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A piece of me reaching out...
by Mimilly ini have been laying on my bed for awhile now, trying very hard to just stay still.
today, i left this board for a break.
while typing it out, there was a steak knife at my side (from cleaning guck out of the mouse), but it beckoned me.
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Mimilly
After I posted, rather, reached out last night, my daughter swooped into the computer chair. I was tired and went,again, to my bed, where my big ol' dog Deigo was snoozing. I snuggled up beside him and 'hung on'.
I made it through the night - and today I awoke to cooler weather and a broader realization that I am not alone while going through this.
Reaching out is often terrifying. My worst fear? That no one would notice. I am, again, overwelmed by arms and hearts reaching back.
I'm still tired, and I have a doctor's appointment to go to. I will try to reply later on as I have a bus to catch.
I believe I made it through the night because I knew that by following the cardinal rule of reaching out - and reaching out HERE, I'd be held in some way.
I have come to adore all of you so much -
Salem xoxoxxooxoxxoxo
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A piece of me reaching out...
by Mimilly ini have been laying on my bed for awhile now, trying very hard to just stay still.
today, i left this board for a break.
while typing it out, there was a steak knife at my side (from cleaning guck out of the mouse), but it beckoned me.
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Mimilly
I have been laying on my bed for awhile now, trying very hard to just stay still. Today, I left this board for a break. While typing it out, there was a steak knife at my side (from cleaning guck out of the mouse), but it beckoned me. I was once a cutter. I would cut my arms or whereever - to relieve inner pressure, pain,anger, fear, lack of control - etc. (For those of you who don't already know my story, you can look it up on this site.) I haven't cut in three years.
I cleaned the floors, bathroom, I cried. I received email from many posters who saw my thread and honestly, I was overwelmed and thankful. I AM tired. Tired of the heat that my area has been cooking in for two weeks, and all that it caused physically. While two things triggered me on this board as of late - due to my being run down, it affected me more than I knew and it was my worrying about someone who didn't know what to do while in the triggering stage reading these things that finally shut me down. I was being told how silly I was by people who do not understand. (paraphrasing btw)
While laying on the bed I realized how badly I wanted to saw away at my arm. Relief. I wanted this build up to drain out. I have no phone at present as it's disconnected temporarily. (go figure - at a time like this)
I should've turned away from the infighting here. But there was only horrid heat. I should've just surfed fluff - but I cared about someone getting hurt. In the end - it was me who got hurt and it's no one's fault. Had I not been run down by the weather and such, this wouldn't have happened. I would've ignored the nonsense. I love this place, and no one will ever be able to make me leave it permanently.
Meanwhile. I long to cut. Because I have no phone, the rule is 'reach out'. That is what I'm doing.
I don't long to cut - I crave it, I need it, I want it - but I know it's wrong. Trouble is, I'm tired - really tired.
so this is a piece of me reaching out
salem
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Nevermind. I'm out of here.
by Mimilly ini'm outa here.
i need a break.
all the bloody infighting and then i'm attacked for asking simon to move something that i knew was harmful to someone who was abused.
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Mimilly
sigh. sixofnine you DID minimize. sigh. sigh.
LL I don't run to Simon with everything.
Seawolf Thank you for caring hon. Anyone who has been abused knows what I'm talking about. I am NOT going to waste my heart trying to explain it to 'sigh' and 'run to Simon with everything'
This site is not put into sections for nothing.
Outnfree I didn't read it. Didn't have to to be triggered - he explained some of it.
Mimilly
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Nevermind. I'm out of here.
by Mimilly ini'm outa here.
i need a break.
all the bloody infighting and then i'm attacked for asking simon to move something that i knew was harmful to someone who was abused.
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Mimilly
I'm outa here. I need a break. All the bloody infighting and then I'm attacked for asking Simon to move something that I knew was harmful to someone who was abused.
I logged onto this site this morning and found this bullshit waiting for me. As if I run to Simon like a crybaby.
For those WHO GIVE A S..T - I had every reason to ask for this to be moved due to the FACT that there was ritualism involved in my own abuse. There! Happy now?
Whatever.
I'll be back whenever I'm back. I'm tired. I'm really really tired.
MImilly
Edited by - Mimilly on 19 August 2002 9:17:24
Edited by - Mimilly on 19 August 2002 9:27:53
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How hot is it?
by Mulan inmy cousin max, who lives in pennsylvania sent me this today.
he says it would be funny, if it wasn't true.. i t i s s o h o t t h a t .
.. the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.. the trees are whistling for the dogs.. the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.. hot water now comes out of both taps.. you can make sun tea instantly.. you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.. the temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.. you discover that in july it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.. you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.. you actually burn your hand opening the car door.. you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.. your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "what if i get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and i cook to death?".
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Mimilly
Onacruse - I immediately love ya cos my brother's name is Craig. (he was killed when I was three and I miss him terribly) But Craig isn't a name oft heard. So, a personal thanks for letting your name be known!
Yer humour hits me dead on alla time too!
hugs, Mimilly
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How hot is it?
by Mulan inmy cousin max, who lives in pennsylvania sent me this today.
he says it would be funny, if it wasn't true.. i t i s s o h o t t h a t .
.. the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.. the trees are whistling for the dogs.. the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.. hot water now comes out of both taps.. you can make sun tea instantly.. you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.. the temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.. you discover that in july it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.. you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.. you actually burn your hand opening the car door.. you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.. your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "what if i get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and i cook to death?".
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Mimilly
OK... Now you two are rubbing it in, whilst I sit here sucking or munching on ice cubes (even lost some pounds - a postive side effect)
Hmmmmmmmmmm? Can I join you both? Can I try your espresso Mulan? Or experience the 90 degree weather? Hmmmmmmmmmm?
Come on now ladies.... don't be messin with a crazy canuck bordering on lunatism!
Sigh. But I still love you both... come here... lemme give you both a great big sweaty hug.
btw - I wear Pure Blanc Perfume by avon. Only stuff I can wear, and I don't stink in the heat - so all you ladies get out of the hug is sweat.... ahahhahhahhahhahaha... see? Insanity! I told ya!
Mimilly of the melting class