questioningmyfaith
If it helps to see my perspective, I have had a family member that has been an ardent apostate (which they embrace) for years now. When I was lurking on another website, I found their posts and saw that their story was a lot different than the truth. The truth is never black and white though. However, our memories always shade in the gray areas to make us believe it can be. Along with that, our goal posts that we use to gauge what is truthful or not always move with personal prejudices. Sometimes they shrink and sometimes they enlarge because we want to believe that what we're hearing has to be the truth.
This does help me to see your perspective. Thank you for writing it.
I remember when I first came here. I would read and go away thinking what a bunch of emotional people. Seeing slang terms for things and people I had been taught to respect was especially off putting. It made me think less of the posters instead of its intended effect.
I persevered and slowly the true gems started to emerge. Like Steve2 said, there are many viewpoints to be found here and more importantly a huge amount of truthful data.
You seem sincere and I have no doubt you will find your way.