Hi undercover, First let me offer you my condolences in the loss of your friend.
I just wanted to comment on the "a-hole" elder and his dogmatic views on those who commit suicide.
He obviously isnt up to date on his JW teachings.
There was a Question From Readers that covered this. The example was given of Saul (who committed suicide) and whose remains were placed upon a wall by his enemies. The Jewish townsmen came and took them down and buried them.
David commended them for this.
The article wanders around a bit and then concludes that a brother could give the funeral talk if his conscience permitted.
So..."a- hole elder" got it wrong.
Sorry I dont have the article details more clearly in mind but I wanted to share what I remembered and offer you some validation for your opinion of this elder...it sounds spot on!