I have felt the same as you Gorby, I would guess many of us are feeling very similar emotions as you have so well expressed.
Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, has been quoted as saying “change is the only constant in life.”
This was written long before the Bible book of 1 Corinthians.
The irony is that we like things to stay the same if they are good or even tolerable. So we experience negative feelings if the status quo is seemingly disrupted but at the same time, we know growth requires tumult.
Times of war result in times of peace. Sickness results in greater awareness of how to ensure the biological survival of the species. Governments rise and fall. Checks and balances.
We are experiencing tumult and change right now. Whether it will result in a better world scene remains to be seen.
This present climate has me thinking about how people must have felt during other times of great tumult such as WW 1 and WW2 which were relatively recent in human history.
I was so awake and aware of everything when I first left the JWs. Over the years since, personally, I think I had gotten soft, a little complacent.
I am awake now. I find myself sniffing the air so to speak trying to discern which direction the winds of change are going to blow. I am eating, supplementing and exercising better and I am also thinking harder. I don't think I was in as much danger from the virus as I was from complacency.
I feel a personal responsibility to come out of all of this better.