my brother, sister and i will be doing an hour radio interview from here in canada with a california radio show that's broadcast around the world: world talk radio
ronny, donald & marina d'haene: how a family of survivors healed (http://www.fatherstouch.com)
december 7
http://www.worldtalkradio.com/archive.asp?aid=5586
http://www.worldtalkradio.com/show.asp?sid=189 Siblings Donald, Ronny and Marina will be interviewed on World Talk Radio, Wednesday, December 7, 2005. The hour show airs at 2:00 p.m. PST (5:00 EST) Call in toll-free number: 1 (888) 514-2100 Kathleen Brooks P.H.d., maintains a private practice in San Diego, CA where she specializes in integrating psychological and spiritual growth.
i'll be as upfront as this documentary filmmaker was in his story telling: i'm a survivor of eleven years of sexual abuse at the hands of my father.
my 3 siblings also were abused as were other children.
besides them telling me, i often witnessed the incidents.
I agree...this is where family and friend become enablers by their silence. With the Friedmans, it's interesting the filmmaker didn't show too many people close to the family giving their input (there was the father's brother who defended him and the son's friend who defended him). I can't tell you how many people I've met in my life who hestiate to condemn a molester IF THEY KNOW the person. If it's a stranger, it's open season. This guy once told me he had coffee with my father. His explanation: "We worked together in tobacco. We speak the same language." My response, "You want have coffee with the guy who raped his children, it's a free country. Have a nice life."
i'll be as upfront as this documentary filmmaker was in his story telling: i'm a survivor of eleven years of sexual abuse at the hands of my father.
my 3 siblings also were abused as were other children.
besides them telling me, i often witnessed the incidents.
Yes, this kind of dysfunctional family is normal within their frame of reference. We certainly thought we were normal initially as our father told us all the fathers at the kingdom Hall did this but they just didn't talk about it. I think the children's anger at their mother is also dead on. My siblings had a big problem with Mom for years until they realized our father not only brainwashed her, he owned her.
i'll be as upfront as this documentary filmmaker was in his story telling: i'm a survivor of eleven years of sexual abuse at the hands of my father.
my 3 siblings also were abused as were other children.
besides them telling me, i often witnessed the incidents.
Yes, the show is fascinating and disturbing. If someone were to watch the film without listening to the words - just by watching the actions, he'd think the father was a sweet father living with a nagging wife and energetic, healthy teenage sons. There's definitely something wrong with the mother but this film brilliantly shows how an admitted molester can appear the victim of circumstances. My father played that "victim" card until I wrote my book. He's the type that has said, "ok, yeah, I molested those four boys, the girl, but not THAT ONE!" In court, I remember him shaking his head wildly as he objected to some evidence. ie. evidence could be read listing incidents of molestation in 20 different locations..when it came to one in 20 he didn't agree with it, he had to make a point of disagreeing. Yup, narcissitic and no remorse. Actually he's still playing the victim number. He's never had to explain why he molested; I've just had to spend 25 years proving, explaining, educating the world about how dangerous he is. Unfortunately, he still finds a "stage" for his performances. Yes, the world is his stage, and we are all but bit players.
i'll be as upfront as this documentary filmmaker was in his story telling: i'm a survivor of eleven years of sexual abuse at the hands of my father.
my 3 siblings also were abused as were other children.
besides them telling me, i often witnessed the incidents.
I just did..love to know your thoughts..here is my review: I'll be as upfront as this documentary filmmaker was in his story telling: I'm a survivor of eleven years of sexual abuse at the hands of my father. My 3 siblings also were abused as were other children. How do I know? Besides them telling me, I often witnessed the incidents. Not all serio-peodophiles are the stuff of witch-hunt hysteria, but trust me they’d sure like you to believe that was the case. I state that now because the filmmaker gives the audience the most important information first as well: this father Friedman, he loved his child porn. You don't need to be Sherlock to figure out what comes next. Or maybe you do. I didn’t because being up close and personal with a molester for the first 15 years of my life, I have a radar for such things. I had heard about this supposedly controversial movie for a while now but did not seek it out. I just happened tonight to come upon it on a specialty movie channel here in Canada. I think this documentary is a movie first, documentary second using real life persons - some of whom can act better then others. Hmm. Art imitating life? And what a window it is into the life of one peodophile’s family. As soon as we discover father Friedman has ordered one child porn mag, you have to be pretty naïve to believe it was his first. And yes, we soon learn he had a stack of kiddie mags. Then, as you discover this award-winning teacher gets excited about little boys, who couldn’t put two and two together and think he just might be a risk to his students and had been to his 3 sons? Oh, we do learn he only did “one kid.” Then it’s two. But they weren’t his students. Earlier it was only one mag and no children. Oh really? One or two -- they were somebody’s children! What parent wouldn’t have alarm bells go off when they discover their teacher is REALLY into their kids? The hysteria that ensues I would think would be less criminal than the fact that this teacher has kiddie porn, has molested and might molest one or more of these students. Watching this film is like watching a window into an episode of my family soap-opera. The mother is cast as the villain; the father is the talented victim/”peodophile, yes, but he didn’t do his students!”; the three sons are the entertaining drama-making by-standers. In my family there were also 3 sons, but with a sister. Our mother was naïve, yet devoted; our father, unlike father Friedman was not lovable or quiet, but was when it came to anything to do with our abuse. Over 30 people found out about our abuse and his silent admission had him sail through unscathed until I finally went to a detective in 1981 when I was 20!! Capturing The Friedmans is a horror movie. The quiet father who loved kiddie porn and molested by his own admittance at the very least two kids is completely responsible for the travesty that befalls his family and community. The “evidence” as portrayed in the film leads the viewer to believe that witch-hunt hysteria of the community destroyed one peodophile’s family. While it is a travesty that anyone (investigators and or/parents) would mislead children to wrongly testify, a devil’s advocate could suggest that the community’s reaction opened pandora’s box. Did the community have the right to know their student’s teacher loved child pornography and had a sexual interest in children? Again, what amazes me is that people can state, “only two kids”. The “one” neighbourhood boy my father molested in my presence “only one time”, I happened to report to police a decade after the incident. I met this brave now man who supported us, years after the incident, at the preliminary hearing. It took all his strength to come forward, be at the court house, be in the presence of his one-time molester. He looked like the raped young soul of a decade earlier. No, there is no such a thing as just one incident, one victim. Once is too much! Capturing The Friedmans suggests that a village destroyed one boy in particular [the youngest son was co-accused with the Father of molesting several students, and in a plea-bargain to avoid possible life-time incarceration, admitted his father had molested him]. This is one case where the sins of the father fell on the son and if this film leaves a viewer with the notion that anyone or anything was the primary destroyer other that the peodophile father, then I’d re-catergorize it as fantasy – documentary.
the host of the show darkness to light: breaking the conspiracy of silence on world talk radio (out of california) has requested sample questions for our interview - thought you all might have some subjects you feel should be addressed.
if you have a suggestion, just post some ?
's and i'll submit them to the host.
Just found out my older brother, Ronny's daughter is pregnant with twins - his 8th and 9th grandchildren. Cool news to get before we go on the radio program talking about surviving as a family! Keep those question suggestions coming. we appreciate your input! We've put the link on the front of my web site http://www.fatherstouch.com/
the host of the show darkness to light: breaking the conspiracy of silence on world talk radio (out of california) has requested sample questions for our interview - thought you all might have some subjects you feel should be addressed.
if you have a suggestion, just post some ?
's and i'll submit them to the host.
Personal to the private message I received: thanks for sharing your experience...my siblings and my goal is to not define ourselves by how others label us...For ie., we do not recognize whatsoever our being ousted from the Witnesses. It doesn't mean anything to us. We are human beings first - that we all have in common. What we have in common with you is that we all were all molested; we were all witnesses and we were all abused by a Witness. That is a bond of strength and positive energy. We are normal! It's our abusers who aren't! Take good care!
the host of the show darkness to light: breaking the conspiracy of silence on world talk radio (out of california) has requested sample questions for our interview - thought you all might have some subjects you feel should be addressed.
if you have a suggestion, just post some ?
's and i'll submit them to the host.
Hi B...thanks so much for those ?'s...they are excellent. I really appreciate your taking the time to write them down. I will send them to the host! We are totally in sync - I haven't spoken to my "father" since '76 the month we left him when I was 15. Every time he's ever called it's click he hears on my end of the phone...the last time was 4 years ago - before he escaped to the Phillippines with his new set of young children (I know, sickening, isn't it!) - calling from an employer's phone to try to fool me. I appreciate your support! Take care
the host of the show darkness to light: breaking the conspiracy of silence on world talk radio (out of california) has requested sample questions for our interview - thought you all might have some subjects you feel should be addressed.
if you have a suggestion, just post some ?
's and i'll submit them to the host.
Thanks to those who have emailed me through my web site...in case some don't know...my email address is [email protected] Thanks for the feedback
the host of the show darkness to light: breaking the conspiracy of silence on world talk radio (out of california) has requested sample questions for our interview - thought you all might have some subjects you feel should be addressed.
if you have a suggestion, just post some ?
's and i'll submit them to the host.
Thanks Blondie...really appreciate it..this will be most helpful. When I was being abused, this was a subject that no one talked about. Today - It's a new world where there are many avenues and resources for info regarding sexual abuse.
