PaintedToeNail

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Posts by PaintedToeNail

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  122

  Jehovah's witness meetings are NOT BORING......

  by punkofnice in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ...i was told but they usually were as i look back.. as a lad i'd sit and look to see who the lights would fall on.

  i'd get an almond and see how long i could suck it before i chewed at it.

  i'd imagine playing rock'n'roll on the congregation's piano.. how did you get through the meetings when you were bored?.

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  PaintedToeNail

  Never been able to get much sleep at conventions and assemblies, the danged clapping kept waking me up!
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  35

  I am exhausted emotionally.

  by PaintedToeNail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been reading ashley judd's 'all things bitter and sweet' autobiography, and it has exhausted me.

  she paints a picture of neglect and abuse from early childhood on.

  as i sat reading, i realised i was identifying with so much of what she wrote.. why, when having an emotional breakdown as a teenager, major obsessive compulsive disorder, obvious depression symptoms, would you refuse to get medical help for your child?

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  PaintedToeNail

  Chariklo-Sometimes it would be great if an undercover TV news show would be at the KH to document these sadistic, egotists, what shining light of truth that would be!...so much for not bringing reproach...

  Bella15-Thanks for the love smack, I appreciate it!

  Loz-Sometime it has to get worse before it gets better. There is no way out of pain, except through it. Difficult at times though! Thank you for your support.

  perfect1-geez, she gets mad because you are sick. I'm so glad your roommate came back and helped you! Too many stories like ours are repeated too often!

  Hortensia-I will get counseling soon, waiting for the new year, as insurance is changing and I don't want a pre-existing condition on my record and have the new insurance jump on that as a reason not to pay. I have been working towards recovery in fits and starts for 20+ years, but now it has really sped up since my 'fade'.
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  35

  I am exhausted emotionally.

  by PaintedToeNail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been reading ashley judd's 'all things bitter and sweet' autobiography, and it has exhausted me.

  she paints a picture of neglect and abuse from early childhood on.

  as i sat reading, i realised i was identifying with so much of what she wrote.. why, when having an emotional breakdown as a teenager, major obsessive compulsive disorder, obvious depression symptoms, would you refuse to get medical help for your child?

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  PaintedToeNail

  nancy-What wonderful fantasies! Thank you for your kind words!

  happy-I know it is typical cult behavior, and my parents are still involved. They would justify themselves to the very end, saying they were putting Jehovah first. It hurts to know they would have let me die rather than get me the medical help I needed. I really don't know why I didn't kill myself as a kid, the OCD was so horrible, I would beg Jehovah to kill me. I am healing though, but, sometimes it physically hurts! Thank you for your encouragement.

  size-You have wise words, as usual. It would be nice to know I was alone in this process. How wonderful it would be if no one else but me were harmed by this crazy soul stealing cult, instead of all of us walking wounded here and in the rest of the world!
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  35

  I am exhausted emotionally.

  by PaintedToeNail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been reading ashley judd's 'all things bitter and sweet' autobiography, and it has exhausted me.

  she paints a picture of neglect and abuse from early childhood on.

  as i sat reading, i realised i was identifying with so much of what she wrote.. why, when having an emotional breakdown as a teenager, major obsessive compulsive disorder, obvious depression symptoms, would you refuse to get medical help for your child?

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  PaintedToeNail

  Chariklo-you are so right when you say 'the deep hurts at the root of ourselves' it is so very true. My whole body is completely sore, every muscle is screaming, and I'm at the verge of tears again today. I thought I was dealing well with myself, then I started that book and realised what was my core problem: No body listened to me, no one cared how I felt, no one heard me. I had no voice.

  jgnat-I am mourning now, probably for the first time in my life. The picture of that life is getting clearer. There are so many things I haven't any memories of, many of the things were good, like riding horses bareback through the Andersons field, canoeing in the clear rivers running through the beautiful northern woods, flying across the ice rink on figure skates...but my parents weren't there those times, so I was free.

  sickandtired-thank you!

  aSphere-How about the kiddie spanking rooms? They gave us that too!

  MrFreeze-thank you!
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  35

  I am exhausted emotionally.

  by PaintedToeNail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been reading ashley judd's 'all things bitter and sweet' autobiography, and it has exhausted me.

  she paints a picture of neglect and abuse from early childhood on.

  as i sat reading, i realised i was identifying with so much of what she wrote.. why, when having an emotional breakdown as a teenager, major obsessive compulsive disorder, obvious depression symptoms, would you refuse to get medical help for your child?

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  PaintedToeNail

  I have been reading Ashley Judd's 'All Things Bitter and Sweet' autobiography, and it has exhausted me. She paints a picture of neglect and abuse from early childhood on. As I sat reading, I realised I was identifying with so much of what she wrote.

  Why, when having an emotional breakdown as a teenager, major obsessive compulsive disorder, obvious depression symptoms, would you refuse to get medical help for your child? Instead relying on untrained men who asked if you commited some secret sin?

  Why did I feel I could not tell my parents that I was molested as a little child? What, at the time of occurance, caused me not to be able to have a voice to tell them?

  Why would parents drag their little kids across the country to preach the word? Especially when the parents had no job prospects in their area of relocation? It was so scary, being told that we couldn't afford anything, because there was no income.

  Why would a mom let her 6 year old kid come home from school to a locked house with no familiar faces to nurture the little one? Why would the mom think that the anonymous people in the 'territory' were more important than the well-being of the locked out child? That these anonymous people were more worthy than the little girl?

  Why would parents, weekend after weekend, load their kids into an ancient Buick Wildcat, with faulty exhaust system pouring carbon monoxide into the back seat, to preach the word to strangers, as their own children got physically sick in the back seat? What made these strangers so much more worthy of well-being and health than the children?

  Why would parents load their kids up on a -15 F degree X-mas day, children dressed in crappy, cheap, thinly lined dress boots, and a dress and force these freezing children to knock on doors of happy, warm families to tell them they were wrong for celerating X-mas, and we had something better to offer, a free home bible study. The girl's feet would be so cold, they were bright red and throbbing with pain, they hurt so bad as they warmed up, like needles would be being stuck into them. When the girl complained of the bitter cold, it was always, we just have one more door, one more block, one more half hour, one more call. Why didn't the parents care enough about the child's voice, which said, "I am miserable". Even cattle are put indoor in weather like that. The Humane Society would be called and the person cited if an animal were exposed in such conditions. Why were these happy strangers so much more important than I was?

  Why would parents let their daughter be attacked by a fierce rooster, being repeatedly pecked and scratched, and just stand there talking to an idiotic householder, doing nothing to protect the 11 year old? Did we stop to let the terrified kid recouperate? No, we must reach more people, it isn't noon yet.

  Why, upon telling your parents 20 years after the fact, (they knowing the mental break downs you have had, wishing that a car would hit you so you would be put out of your misery) that you were molested as a 3 year old, would they act like you just told them you ran of out bread. There was no reaction on their part. They didn't listen to my voice. It was just as if it weren't important and didn't mean a thing.

  I had Hepatitis A, picked up at a congregation picnic from contaminated food, I was so weak with exhaustion. When I told me dad I just couldn't load another piece of firewood into the truck, I was so tired, he didn't care. On the way home, I had to hold my baby brother, there wasn't a car seat for him in the cab. When I fell asleep holding him, my dad punched me, yelling "Stay awake, you aren't holding him straight!" Why didn't he believe that I was so very tired and sick? It took me three months to recover enough to stay awake during daylight hours. They only believed I was sick when I actually turned yellow, everything from my eyes to my skin. Why wouldn't they believe me?

  There are so many other things that I am remembering. Ashley Judd said she didn't have a voice as a child, no one listened to her. I didn't have a voice either. No one cared. Her book caused me to start weeping, like her I realise I am filled with grief over my lost childhood. So many bad memories. So much loneliness.
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  25

  News Follow-up on 2002 Beheading and Kidnap of Jehovah's Witnesses.

  by Balaamsass in

  1. social
  2. current

  witnesses fail to identify abu sayyaf suspectsphilippine daily inquirer.

  4:41 am | tuesday, december 4th, 2012 <span class="postauthor">posted by <a href="http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/author/besguerra" title="posts by besguerra" rel="author">besguerra</a></span>0665start share this /metas suspected abu sayyaf terrorists wrongly arrested for the 2002 abduction of several jehovahs witnesses in patikul, sulu, may be released before the end of the month.. twenty-one accused claiming innocence were presented at a hearing on the reinvestigation of the kidnap-for-ransom case conducted by the department of justice on monday, but eight of them were pointed to by two witnessesone of them a former hostageas being members of the terror group.. it was the third reinvestigation of the aug. 20, 2002, abduction of four women and two men who were members of the religious group in patikul.. the two men were beheaded by the abu sayyaf while the women were rescued by police and the military.. at the start of the hearing, senior assistant state prosecutor peter ong said it was the prosecutors themselves who pushed for the reinvestigation.. we noticed, for instance, two persons being arrested under one name and we noticed an injustice there, said ong, adding that the pasig rtc ordered them to conduct the reinvestigation in 60 days.. all 21 abu sayyaf members who were handcuffed were made to line up for identification in batches to face two of the three witnesses who were brought in, their faces concealed.. of the 21, the eight who were pointed to by two witnesses denied the accusation.. one of the eight, julhassan a. jaani ybanez, was identified by the female witness as the one who beheaded her husband.. but ybanez denied this, saying he was an imam (muslim leader) and an assistant of col. akho san juan, the military chaplain of the western mindanao command.

  he said he was arrested in 2006. christine o. avendano.

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  PaintedToeNail

  When this happened, I remember being shocked and saddened and expressing the internal thought: WHY would these people board watercraft and try to preach to a group of people who were known to be violently militant in their own religion. Upon learning that they tried to use the Avon rep ruse, I was sickened. They probably thought Jehovah would protect them. This particular portion of the Philippines has been an ongoing problem for the Philippine government for years with their radical muslim behavior. I wonder if they were encouraged to take this great risk by the DO or someone else, or if it was their own zealot behavior that made them feel the need to preach there.

  At the time this happened, there was a picture of one of the 'brothers' brother, looking at the severed head in a box, making a postive ID, it was horrible.
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  5

  Dear Dr. Laura; Why Can't I own a Canadian? Some thought provoking questions for Jehovah's Witnesses and the blood issue. :)

  by Balaamsass in

  1. social
  2. humour

  why can't i own a canadian?october 2002dr.

  laura schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show.

  recently, she said that, as an observant orthodox jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

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  PaintedToeNail

  What a funny way of looking at the Old Testament! I love when people see things in a new way, things that Can be really funny when they were supposed to be serious, like the OT.
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  25

  News Follow-up on 2002 Beheading and Kidnap of Jehovah's Witnesses.

  by Balaamsass in

  1. social
  2. current

  witnesses fail to identify abu sayyaf suspectsphilippine daily inquirer.

  4:41 am | tuesday, december 4th, 2012 <span class="postauthor">posted by <a href="http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/author/besguerra" title="posts by besguerra" rel="author">besguerra</a></span>0665start share this /metas suspected abu sayyaf terrorists wrongly arrested for the 2002 abduction of several jehovahs witnesses in patikul, sulu, may be released before the end of the month.. twenty-one accused claiming innocence were presented at a hearing on the reinvestigation of the kidnap-for-ransom case conducted by the department of justice on monday, but eight of them were pointed to by two witnessesone of them a former hostageas being members of the terror group.. it was the third reinvestigation of the aug. 20, 2002, abduction of four women and two men who were members of the religious group in patikul.. the two men were beheaded by the abu sayyaf while the women were rescued by police and the military.. at the start of the hearing, senior assistant state prosecutor peter ong said it was the prosecutors themselves who pushed for the reinvestigation.. we noticed, for instance, two persons being arrested under one name and we noticed an injustice there, said ong, adding that the pasig rtc ordered them to conduct the reinvestigation in 60 days.. all 21 abu sayyaf members who were handcuffed were made to line up for identification in batches to face two of the three witnesses who were brought in, their faces concealed.. of the 21, the eight who were pointed to by two witnesses denied the accusation.. one of the eight, julhassan a. jaani ybanez, was identified by the female witness as the one who beheaded her husband.. but ybanez denied this, saying he was an imam (muslim leader) and an assistant of col. akho san juan, the military chaplain of the western mindanao command.

  he said he was arrested in 2006. christine o. avendano.

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  PaintedToeNail

  They went into dangerous territory by boat if I remember right, and tried to pass themselves off as Avon reps in order to preach the word. The local Muslims were not duped and the group was kidnapped, and then several were beheaded.
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  34

  Hi guess i may have to introduce myself

  by rickisteel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi im from the uk im 42 years old , i was brought up as a witness from birth to 12 years of age i left the meetings with my parents ,.

  i had a wild youth was a bit of a rebel involving alcohol ,drugs , heavy metal and motorcycles , i was thrown out of home at 17 my sister was 14. and was discarded as my parents remarried and neither of there new partners wanted us (baggage) , anyway by the time i was married and 21. somebody spiked my pizza with lsd (cant remember the flavour ) and for the next 3 days i thought the world was ending , i called my dad and rambled some stuff to him ( cant remember exactly but the world was ending in my head) a little while later i got a witness call briefly , i found out where he lived and went and asked him for a bible , he suggested i have a bible study me and the wife took the offer and so it began again , i was baptised in 93 and went from strength to strength in the truth , aux pioneering , volunteered for everything , talks , cleaning , meeting parts etc was soon appointed and moved on giving public talks , assembly parts , shepparding calls etc , then in 1997 my wife fell down a kerb and damaged her cruciate ligaments several operations later and disabled ( by the way the brothers /sisters in the cong were great at this point ) my wife began to act odd 1n 1999 she tried to take her own life and over the next several years took 26 overdoses and spent much of her life in phychiatrict hospital in 2001 she was bi polar disorder type rapid cycling (not the common oh i feel a bit low type bi polar but the full blown rollercoaster ride bi polar) .

  the thing that struck me was i began to feel like a leper and despite a couple of close friends nobody in the cong or on the circuit( long time friends) seemed to care , i brouht up the kids on my own visiting my wife in hospital and caring for her at home , i felt so alone , when i used to take the kids to the meeting / assembly on my own i just got tutts and sad headshakes "she not come" ?

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  PaintedToeNail

  welcome!
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  97

  Jehovah's Witnesses dismayed by new magazine format from Watchtower Society.

  by Balaamsass in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wow.

  i was surprised this week by calls from active jws complaining about the new magazine format, and more begging for money from the platform.. frankly i was surprized by this reaction since this is old news to jwn members.

  i guess actually shuffling to the bookroom and grabbing the new "awake tracts" minus the inside cover forward ...awakened many sleepy, catatonic, bored jws who never read the things or go on the internet anyway.. any feedback from other areas?.

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  PaintedToeNail

  I remember the old Dodger Stadium days that ran well into the nights! As a little kid, it was a nightmare that never ended!!!