Olivia Wilde, my son had questions about disfellowshipping because someone we know was being shunned in the congregation. My husband & I were DF'd when he was born & we decided to tell him when he asked about the other situation (we were DF'd because we got married when I was legally divorced but not scripturally free . . . long story!)
He said he didn't want to give talks or be baptized into a religion that disfellowshipping and won't talk to family members. At 8 years old, he has it all figured out. We started missing more & more meetings, and when my husband & were talking about the ARC, he had questions, so we told him what was happening, and how we couldn't support the organization if this was allowed just like we wouldn't send him to a school or other organization that didn't protect kids. He understands quite well, but I feel like he gets stuck in the middle of it BTW 2 sets of very active witness grandparents, aunts & uncles. We are trying our best to keep our families & also to stand up for our convictions. I think many of us are fighting the same battle. I'm reading a book written by a non-JW acquaintance of mine whose family survived Nazi Germany. She said "I would also like to encourage others not to be embarrassed or afraid when they know they should march out of step, even if they stumble and fall". I think her words really apply to all of us here.