Posts by GrownMidget

25

Long Story of my Life/Experience

by GrownMidget in

also, my wife has come to her limits of understanding me about the witnesses related grief i have been having.

she has told me many times to stop reading the ex-witness sites because i get depressed and become angry, which sadly is true.

it's not very productive to be sad throughout the entire day and then shout at your wife for the reason she has no first hand experience about, therefore how could she possibly know and help?

GrownMidget

The only thing I'd add is to consider how your wife is doing in all of this. Making her happy will be the best thing you can do for yourself too.

She is doing well. If she has any concerns she shares and I do the same. She is very loving and supportive woman. She didn't know anything about witnesses prior to our dating, but after learning about it she was the final coffin with my awakening because she showed the connections with Masonry and Pyramidology.

At some point, we both came into the crossroads that she didn't understand me anymore and I couldn't explain so I decided to join here.

Be thankful for your progress and do your best to move on in life.

Thank you! There is no day going by that I don't think about how lucky and thankful I am for being out.

61

Over-protective parent?

by GrownMidget in

i was something like 20-21 and there was this young sister, maybe 16 who i happened to like back in the day ... uh oh ...we met in the summer convention because i made the first move while she was playing board games with her friend.

we kept in touch via skype and text messages because lived kinda far from each other.

eventually her mother heard of the stuff and said to her daughter that the chatting must stop.... well, when two people have a little crush on one another, it sure doesn't.

GrownMidget

No no, it's good practice for me. Nobody knows me here and I have no plans of staying forever. Just want to balance out my life from all the witness related shit that I have been unable to share.

Wishing you well seems so lame but I honestly do.

No worries, I understand.

61

Over-protective parent?

by GrownMidget in

i was something like 20-21 and there was this young sister, maybe 16 who i happened to like back in the day ... uh oh ...we met in the summer convention because i made the first move while she was playing board games with her friend.

we kept in touch via skype and text messages because lived kinda far from each other.

eventually her mother heard of the stuff and said to her daughter that the chatting must stop.... well, when two people have a little crush on one another, it sure doesn't.

GrownMidget

Yes, I understand that it sounds in the context of this topic like a creeper sitting in the dark at the back of your child's car. I'm not an idiot.

Many cases people judge me for one thing they see, and few of them, after they see more change their mind. Most people I don't really need in my life because they have nothing useful to offer that I can use to build myself up. Even the friend of mine who was the other party in the story told me straight out the first time we met that I am weird but later said that I resemble more of a brother.

I can assure that despite anything others may see, with the limited half spoon I was given, I have tried to have the best of others in mind for what I am capable of. Sometimes with better success than other times and many times I have been in a grey area and sometimes crossed all the way into the dark side causing harm for many people emotionally due to the anger bursts I have mentioned in the story post.

Many people I have cut loose from life after leaving witnesses and some have cut me away from their end. I don't repent doing so because not all, despite how "close" they seem, are actually that close in the end.

61

Over-protective parent?

by GrownMidget in

i was something like 20-21 and there was this young sister, maybe 16 who i happened to like back in the day ... uh oh ...we met in the summer convention because i made the first move while she was playing board games with her friend.

we kept in touch via skype and text messages because lived kinda far from each other.

eventually her mother heard of the stuff and said to her daughter that the chatting must stop.... well, when two people have a little crush on one another, it sure doesn't.

GrownMidget

You can interpret and judge me however you please. I'm already used to being the weird guy who can be blamed for everyone's problems.

25

Long Story of my Life/Experience

by GrownMidget in

also, my wife has come to her limits of understanding me about the witnesses related grief i have been having.

she has told me many times to stop reading the ex-witness sites because i get depressed and become angry, which sadly is true.

it's not very productive to be sad throughout the entire day and then shout at your wife for the reason she has no first hand experience about, therefore how could she possibly know and help?

GrownMidget

It sounds like depression, anger, and addiction may run in your family?

Yes, my whole family has had different forms of depression and anxiety, all diagnosed. Many, if not all have addictions of some kind and at least me and my brother have anger issues. I decided to cut him loose entirely from my circles. Funny thing being that he is the one trying to become a therapist while coping with his own alcoholism and anger issues with the world, his wife and rest of the family... Often talked to me about divorcing him and basically been kinda close to cheating her too. He also blames rest of the family for his problems yet his wife is the one who made him do all things he has done, so the success he has financially had belongs mostly to his wife.

Growing up our mom was mentally ill and at times unable to properly care for us.

Yes, mine too. She was basically abused sexually as a child by her father.
To be honest, I have been able to let go most of the anger towards her and in some level have already forgiven and after I realized that, I felt lighter inside. It was a nice feeling! However, some things still bother me about her very much...

14

What it takes to keep separate from the world

by Sabin in

check out this mag.

june 15th, 1980.. without a doubt, our appreciating just how wicked & corrupt satan's world is will help us to keep separate from the world.

such appreciation will make it easy for us to obey the command found at psalms 97:10 "o you lovers of jehovah, hate what is bad.

GrownMidget

Even though I got out sooner then some I wish I would have had the courage to get out sooner than I did

That is so true! I started to seriously doubt when I was around 20. Took few years of that process, but I still wish I had left earlier. Actually to be more precise, I wish I never got into the pool to begin with.

61

Over-protective parent?

by GrownMidget in

i was something like 20-21 and there was this young sister, maybe 16 who i happened to like back in the day ... uh oh ...we met in the summer convention because i made the first move while she was playing board games with her friend.

we kept in touch via skype and text messages because lived kinda far from each other.

eventually her mother heard of the stuff and said to her daughter that the chatting must stop.... well, when two people have a little crush on one another, it sure doesn't.

GrownMidget

I think that is the important part. If "maybe 16" means 14 or 15 then I can imagine her parents concern. Depending on the country and the family then even 16 or 17 could be frowned on.
A bit strong making serious accusations though but if parents make a mistake, being too protective is low on the scale.

I feel you. I always had a problems of getting crushes (married, single, young or mature) due to my family issues at home. Later the whole situation came a bit of an inside joke with my friend and it became a funny story I explained to people and now after leaving has almost been forgotten already. Oh well, that memory is out of my system now.

Around here people move to live on their own at age of 16-18 because of school. Witnesses get married usually at the age of 18-20. In our congregation there was this couple who got married at 17. Now divorced, other disfellowshipped and the other remarried.

I feel so lucky that none of the stuff I have had over the years never worked out with anybody. The past year and a half has been the time I have grown very fast towards more mature person, much thanks to my wife's endless support.

61

Over-protective parent?

by GrownMidget in

i was something like 20-21 and there was this young sister, maybe 16 who i happened to like back in the day ... uh oh ...we met in the summer convention because i made the first move while she was playing board games with her friend.

we kept in touch via skype and text messages because lived kinda far from each other.

eventually her mother heard of the stuff and said to her daughter that the chatting must stop.... well, when two people have a little crush on one another, it sure doesn't.

GrownMidget

I was something like 20-21 and there was this young sister, maybe 16 who I happened to like back in the day ... Uh oh ...
We met in the summer convention because I made the first move while she was playing board games with her friend. We kept in touch via Skype and text messages because lived kinda far from each other. Eventually her mother heard of the stuff and said to her daughter that the chatting must stop...

Well, when two people have a little crush on one another, it sure doesn't. Later she called me and started to talk about all kind of stuff that if the contacting doesn't stop she will contact the elders and make sure it does. And then she added her "non-witness husband" into the mix by saying something like this: "even by his standards this sounds weird and I wouldn't like use such strong terms but it sounds like "getting involved with children"". What, really, are you nuts?!We didn't have sex, talk dirty, kiss, hug or even hold hands and she is already saying that I am basically a child molester and pedophile because I write to her daughter! Then she pulled out the emotional "my other daughter is disfellowshipped" card and yada-yada. Well, anyway the possible relationship in the future kinda stopped there.

Later I asked via the other friend that what sized clothes my crush uses and bought her a shirt and gave it in the next summer convention. Anyway, there was funny incident where I was standing with my regular distinct white suit in the break eating and then my friend is on the opposite side of the table trying to saying to me that the mother is behind my back looking at me. I was just kinda laughing inside that "lol this is absuuuuurd".

At some point my friend and she got some problems because the crush started to hang out with the wrong girls and became somewhat of a rebel and a bitch. Even I noticed the change in her. My friend heard the mom say that she has failed as mother because her daughter is like this, probably indicating the thing she was moving towards to.

All this was around the times I was starting to fade away, so I haven't really been keeping in touch with either anymore.

Anybody else having anything like this?

69

Did you know anyone who commited suicide in the org?

by JH in

jw
friends

back in 1991, a young brother maybe 18 years old living next to my place committed suicide.

his father expected him to be very zealous just like he was, but the son never wanted to be like that.

he was always controlled by his father.

GrownMidget

My dad committed suicide.

I wonder how many of the loving witnesses tell you that he won't be resurrected into paradise because of this unforgivable sin? Personally I heard this always when I was publicly wondering it. So loving of them to judge a person who they never knew; who I never knew.

I never really even knew mine so it's impossible for me to even understand the concept of a actual father existing (bad or good for that matter)... But it is sad to think many others have died by their own hand and other people judge that they never get resurrected while jumping into their expensive sport cars and drive off. Others having "perfect" families and parents buying them everything... I hate witnesses.

Well, luckily I don't believe into the paradise anymore so now I know these same people are still wasting their pathetic lives into this same crap.

69

Did you know anyone who commited suicide in the org?

by JH in

jw
friends

back in 1991, a young brother maybe 18 years old living next to my place committed suicide.

his father expected him to be very zealous just like he was, but the son never wanted to be like that.

he was always controlled by his father.

GrownMidget

I know this is 12 years old topic, but I cannot resist posting in it myself.

I personally know 5 (have at least talked to all):

My own father (not talked to him since I was 2 years old when it happened, but obviously proven that has happened and that he existed). Overdosed on medication.

One who I knew before he was baptized. Had lots of mental issues and he was plain weird. Everyone made fun of him because of that, me included. Now that I look back, maybe I was too rough but who knows what's the real reason, if any. Anyway, he had his own written rules about how things should be done. I was the one who had to take his shit before he got his medication and he found out other people to text to. Obviously didn't figure out his own ways. Jumped off a roof of a building.

One shy guy who married a sister that had a kid. I am in the belief they they either got a divorce or they had some problems in their marriage, thus husband killed himself. Method unknown...

One married guy who was known by basically everybody. Always making fun of either other people or trying to show he's such a cool and fun guy to be around. Jumped in front of a train.

One guy who I emotionally helped after he had gone through judicial committee and he later thanked me for that. Once he bullied me with other witnesses I knew, but I don't hold that against him. He was very nice but mentally ill and ended up killing himself. Most likely overdosed.