Stillin,
As you are disenchanted and frustrated with the unrealistic portrayals of so-called "happy" witness life and perfect brothers, so your wife is probably just as disenchanted and frustrated with the unrealistic portrayals of how being a perfect submissive sister should fill her with joy and contentment. Probably not because she expects more from you, but because deep down she is sick of being considered a mere extension of and subject to male figureheads (i.e. you, elders, etc.) and wishes to be considered an equal partner.