My wife took my kids to a special talk last night and I had no clue. I came home from work at 9pm and no one was home. I misplaced my house key so luckily they pulled in the drive way only minutes after me. I was a little upset but didn't say a word in from of the kids. Once we all got inside, my 12 year old son asked how come I don't go to the meetings. Wife and other kids were all standing around and I just said, "because I don't believe that it's the truth". Mind you this is all because the wife has gotten JW crazy since my oldest sons 21st birthday. Anyway, my younger son didn't follow up and let it go at that and so I did too. This morning on the way to school I told him that they've made too many mistakes in the past that hurt people but still they call it "the Truth" and that God speaks to the world through them. He asked, like what mistakes. I mentioned the false prophecies because we had a talk a few months ago about the Camping prophecy failure that he himself critized. He said, "yeah that's too big huh"? By that time we got to school. My kid is very very smart and wise for his age...
marriedtoajw
JoinedPosts by marriedtoajw
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Hope I planted a seed to my kid why it's not the Truth..
by marriedtoajw inmy wife took my kids to a special talk last night and i had no clue.
i came home from work at 9pm and no one was home.
i misplaced my house key so luckily they pulled in the drive way only minutes after me.
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The Pope's Conscience Bothers Him And He Now Knows The Truth And Is Studying
by minimus inwouldn't that be something if you heard the witnesses saying that?
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marriedtoajw
Come on with the jw conversion stuff.l My sarcasm radar must be off but you guys are kidding right? Rediculous...
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How do I keep from being an enabler while not appearing like Satan
by marriedtoajw inone thing that i havn't mentioned in any of my posts is that i have a 26 year old son along with the 4 kids that my wife and i have together.
i became a father very young, 15 to be exact.
that's a whole other issue but not on this post.
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marriedtoajw
Retrovirus said: Does he enjoy music and concerts? Would he like to have a decent car? Travel? Does he plan to marry one day?
He is very much into hip hop and does go to concerts. He has still maintained a close relationship with his worldy friends but I believe he is trying to be the example. As a matter of fact, he had about 4 friends here at the house but told them they had to go since he was about to go to the meeting with his mom. Oh, and about wanting a car, mistake on my part again, I bought him an old car cheap with mechanical problems that I bought to get him to and from school which he quit late last year. He likes to go to visit my wife's JW family out of state but that's about it. About having a family, you know I'm now sure. I'd always assued so but he has yet to have a real steady girlfriend or even go on a date. I've asked him if there was any girls in his life but it's always no. I have noticed that the only girlfriend he's every had in high school, for about 3 months, has been coming around to vist. But she's divorced with a kid. Don't think he's looking to make her the one though. Then again, he doesn't really confide in me much...
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How do I keep from being an enabler while not appearing like Satan
by marriedtoajw inone thing that i havn't mentioned in any of my posts is that i have a 26 year old son along with the 4 kids that my wife and i have together.
i became a father very young, 15 to be exact.
that's a whole other issue but not on this post.
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marriedtoajw
Would they be willing to read "Crisis of Conscience" or "Captives of a Concept"?
If not, would they be willing to do research to see what the WTS was teaching in 1918-1919, the time when Jesus supposedly inspected them and declared them to be the faithful and discreet slave?
I don't think so, although I've never asked. I've read COC many times to be very familiar with it. Once in a fit of impatience I rattled off a list of reasons to my wife why the JW's are wrong when my wife and her family did a kind of intervention on me by bombarding me with invintations to go to an assembly when her parents visited us a couple years ago. Maybe I should go to the next one and then begin to ask questions as if I might be interested in order to regain some of what I might has lost by opposing in earlier days. What do you guys think???
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How do I keep from being an enabler while not appearing like Satan
by marriedtoajw inone thing that i havn't mentioned in any of my posts is that i have a 26 year old son along with the 4 kids that my wife and i have together.
i became a father very young, 15 to be exact.
that's a whole other issue but not on this post.
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marriedtoajw
One thing that I havn't mentioned in any of my posts is that I have a 26 year old son along with the 4 kids that my wife and I have together. I became a father very young, 15 to be exact. That's a whole other issue but not on this post. I never mentioned it before because I didn't want to complicate the post because it wasn't relevant to what my post was about. His mother and I obviously didn't work out and we never married, not my doing she's the one that wanted to move on. I raised him with my wife and our other kids. In fact, my current JW wife and I married at 19 because she was pregnant at the time. I was a stupid kid doing things I shouldn't have been doing but what can I say, it is what it is. My son is married now with three kids of his own and has a very good job and is a very hard worker and is a great dad. He credits me and my wife for teaching him how to be good parents.
I mention all of this now because I know now that I made a huge mistake in that I took it very easy on my 21 years old son in so many ways particularly in encouraging him not working so that he could focus on his basketball practices and games as it was his dream to give that a shot. I just wanted him to enjoy his high school days to the full as I didn't have that opportunity. Having a child so young I started working before the legal age. Anyway once it was time to look for work, he has been very picky and passing up on jobs that he just didn't want to work. He's studying with the JW's through my wifes encouragement and seems content to continue on. I have yet to discourage him because of fear I will be seen as satan. He know's I'm an opposer as I'm sure my wife and her family have already made him aware. I did take him aside about 4 years ago, after my wife's baptism before he understood anything about the JW's and explained what was coming. I told him I loved him but that my wife's family may begin to encourage him more and more to study with them and that he needed to know why I don't believe in the religion. I mentioned the "false predictions" and how JW's suffered believing in it all. I think he may have forgotten this conversation though. It may seem strange but my wife and her family didn't really push the JW stuff until his late teens when they tried to study with him by phone behind my back. Once I told my wife it was wrong to do this behind my back, it was stopped, or at least it was done very discreetly.
My oldest son once mentioned to me that he thought my JW mil is brainwashed and seems to want to control and brainwash everyone else. I was very very taken back because he was shielded from all the JW stuff, but he nailed it. Anyway the whole point of this post is to give the contrast of my oldest son who is very confident, hardworking, family oriented and spiritual all of which he says he learned from me without me beating him over the head with it. Yet my 21 year old son has associated much more with JW's, especially over the last 4 years, has been love bombed by my wife's family and is beginning to adopt the JW world view. Yet, he has yet to get his first job, wants to go to every meeting, does not have a good sence of reality and is overall just like his mother. I love my wife, but she has always been taken care of either by her parents or me. Has worked maybe 4 years in 40 and has a cynical view of the world, as my son is developing as well. I don't blame myself for all of this but I do struggle with a game plan or questions I could ask to get them to start thinking without it being so awkward since I have been so careful in everything that I say or do. I type this now as my wife and son just went to the meeting with my 8 years old daughter. So hard figuring this crap out...
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Help!!!
by marriedtoajw ini have come here for any advice and support that anyone can give and i really need it now.
i don't talk about these issues with my siblings anymore because they have already told me that they have no advice and can't help.
feelings of anxiety have been overwhelming me the lat 2 years and it makes me feel like a scared little child.
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marriedtoajw
Thanks for that video link Biblestudent. I watched the whole video and I see that Steve Hasans seems to emphasize trying to get the cult member to think for themselves by asking questions out of curiousity. This strategy I believe could work well in the beginning stages of the members entry into the cult. Someone in my position, I mean being so close to the member for so long while practically sitting on my hands due to ignorance, I don't think this tactic will work. You see, there have been occasions in the last few years when I tried this only to have the woman I love dodge questions or change the subject, exactly what some here told me she would do. She hides the cult personality from me but I've seen it a few times when I asked questions. She went into robot mode and started to spiel the JW talk and I was so taken back. I can relate very well to what Steve said when he mentions the transformation cult members go through. I saw it but it was very subtle. Only when I asked questions did I see just how blind I've been. Once my wife told me she wanted to get baptized is when I did serious deep research. I regret very much waiting so long to do it but without the internet I had very little resources and we didn't get the internet until around the year 2000 and even then I never stumbled on to good informative sites. I just didn't know where to begin.
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Help!!!
by marriedtoajw ini have come here for any advice and support that anyone can give and i really need it now.
i don't talk about these issues with my siblings anymore because they have already told me that they have no advice and can't help.
feelings of anxiety have been overwhelming me the lat 2 years and it makes me feel like a scared little child.
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marriedtoajw
Retrovirus said - Finally, it seems you are feeling powerless - truly, you are not. Counselling might help here; it worked for me! Finally, it seems you are feeling powerless - truly, you are not. Counselling might help here; it worked for me!
I feel powerless because everywhere I go for advice with the JWs, including here, I'm told to tread lightly, be careful, JW's are trained in this and that... Outside of my own experience as someone married to a JW, everything I know about the psychology of JW's comes from second hand information. In other words, since I've never been in and never subscribed to that world view I feel powerless to help my wife. I see her as a danger to the kids getting deeper and deeper in the cult and just as she sees me as a danger to thier eternal life. I kow I've done a damn good job in hedging all the JW stuff all these years and that's why I think my wife waited so long to get baptized. She still leads the double life but I see her starting to pull back little by little almost in a strategic way. I use to talk to my family about our issues with this but not anymore. They think my wife is fooling herself trying to have it both ways in thinking her faith is some how superior while engaging in things she technically isn't suppose to, mostly holiday celebrations.
Sulla said - You are afraid. I get it. Everybody is afraid when it comes to family, because it is so important.
Stop being afraid.
Stop being afraid and speak what is true. It is past time.
Yes, I agree. I'm burnt out psychologically and I just don't think I have anymore to give. I've been saying little things here and there but it's like water off a ducks back. My cousin and I were having a conversation about the Harold Camping false prophecy and he said, in front of my wife not knowing she's a JW, "Any person or religion claiming to know when the world is gonna end exposes themselves as a liar just by promoting such a thing..."
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Help!!!
by marriedtoajw ini have come here for any advice and support that anyone can give and i really need it now.
i don't talk about these issues with my siblings anymore because they have already told me that they have no advice and can't help.
feelings of anxiety have been overwhelming me the lat 2 years and it makes me feel like a scared little child.
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marriedtoajw
bigmac said - this cult aids and abets its brainwashed adherents to dispose of non-believing spouses---never mind the family wreckage that ensues.
This is exactly why I feel I have nothing to lose at this point but to be more and more blatant with my true feelings about this org. My wife knows I don't believe the org. is the Truth but doesn't know I believe it's evil and dangerous. Every single time I have ever asked her questions about the doctrine, she was either stumpped or skirted the question. Perfect example was just after we got married and she told me she wanted to start studying with the JW's and she wanted to go to the memorial and asked if I'd go with her. At the time I was the supportive type so I said I would go but wouldn't study. I swear that I was taken a back right away. People were standing around talking and then a man went to the podium and announced they were ready to start and then almost instantly everyone went into robot mode. Everyone stopped talking, turned and walked to their chairs almost in unisin and a silent hush swept the hall. Now I was only 20 at the time and had rarely been to any other Churches other than to Catholic Mass and so I was just confused as I watched people pass bread and wine up and down the rows. I thought this was bizzar and I hadn't yet engaged in any theological study of this faith at the time or any other faith other than my own for that matter. When I asked her afterwards why they pass bread and wine and no one took of it, she shrugged her shoulders as if to say she didn't know. Many other examples I've brought up but never got real answers and so I would just drop it. It's things like this that happened a lot early in our marriage that I just knew she would drop all this but my wife's mother never let up on the guilt trip until my wife was finally dunked 5 years ago. Little by little it's been a downward spiral...
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Help!!!
by marriedtoajw ini have come here for any advice and support that anyone can give and i really need it now.
i don't talk about these issues with my siblings anymore because they have already told me that they have no advice and can't help.
feelings of anxiety have been overwhelming me the lat 2 years and it makes me feel like a scared little child.
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marriedtoajw
Divorce is looking more and more like a viable option as it was something that I would have never considered before. Yet, I have my own beliefs about the sanctity of marriage. I was raised Catholic which is even more restrictive when it comes to divorce than the JW's, which is why I've stuck around. I grew up without a father as he died in my pre-teen years. I also grew up with only older sisters and a my mother which I admit made me very seceptible to the needs of women. I allowed myself to be dominated by not being the jerk who left wife and kids. I know what it's like not to have a man in the house and my thinking was that I could never do that to my kids eventhough I would technically still be around.
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Help!!!
by marriedtoajw ini have come here for any advice and support that anyone can give and i really need it now.
i don't talk about these issues with my siblings anymore because they have already told me that they have no advice and can't help.
feelings of anxiety have been overwhelming me the lat 2 years and it makes me feel like a scared little child.
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marriedtoajw
I have come here for any advice and support that anyone can give and I really need it now. I don't talk about these issues with my siblings anymore because they have already told me that they have no advice and can't help. Feelings of anxiety have been overwhelming me the lat 2 years and it makes me feel like a scared little child. I work like a dog, gained 25 pounds cuz of my sit down job and depression and I look tired all the time. I feel like my wife has played me masterfully. Guys I have only been to 4 meetings with my wife in 20 years and never been a witness and I've been fighting it all this time. I never bought into it but everything that I know about the organization is all second hand information as far as testimonials. I question my knowledge, my tactics of heding the Org. all the time. My kids are being drawn in little by little by my wife and her family. I see the deceptions, theocratic warefare. As I've said in my previous posts, my 21 years old son is now going full steam with studying with them, outside of my home. They just skipped a meeting on Sunday for the first time in 8 months when she would only go once every 3 months before my son turned 21. Everything is changing as if it was all planned. My 12 years old son is now questioning me more and more about the Org and why I don't go.
I didn't do anything religiously with my kids because of the strife I knew it would cause and because of the confusion I had for years as to what to believe. My wife has no idea how much I know now about JW doctrines or JW tactics and yet I still question what I know. We have horrible, just horrible communication when it comes to religion. I've gone our entire marriage always hedging always believing that the Organization is dangerous. I've spent countless hours of studying the bible, JW, doctrines and listening or watching testimonials while never commiting myself to anything, again just to keep peace. BUT THERE IS NO PEACE INSIDE OF ME!!! I NEVER KNEW MY WIFE!!! I let myself be decieved and with all that I have learned, I just can't sit bye and watch my kids get sucked in... What the hell do I do!!! I'm tired of being the calm one to keep peace. I'm tired of not assuming the headship and trying to be so careful with my wife when she sure as hell doesn't seem to care how I feel anymore. It's all changing folks. She's going for the jugular. Intellectually, I know what I should be doing but I'm exhausted emotionally and psychologically and things are getting worst.
After 20 years, a full blown confrontation looks rediculous but that's how long I've been holding things in and walking on eggshells. I know everyone has to make their own decisions as to what to do but because I've delt with this so long, I let every little battle lost affect me. Every time they go to a meeting, I feel defeated. Everytime I see my son reading the literature, I feel defeated. It's all around me and I feel sufficated. Why??? Researching is pointless unless you act on what you know and I have yet to do that in any edifying way to myself. I know of no one who has delt with being with being married to a JW as long as I have withoug getting sucked in. I can see the hypocricy and false claims of authority. What the hell do I do... HELP!!!