Misfit yes she is a born in with gungho jw grandmother, parents, especially her mom and sister and bil but never baptized til age 36. She was hopibg i would study and come in with her. But i saw thru their tactics ie. love bombing. She has always gone thru gungho spirts and lulls. The thing is she attends bday functions for her extended nonjw family without me usually because I have to work and she goes without any qualms.
Sometimes our marriage feels normal. But our religious issues has always been the elephant in the room. Then she seems to want to take a stand from time to time and not want to attend my family functions lately.
See it may be because she knows I have talked to my sisters a few years ago about my confusion caused by her gunghoness then lulls. I think that she is mentally strong in the faith but tries not to be obvious about what she really believes. I use to think she was conflicted and naybe she use to be but since she became aware that ive done my own independent research and her hope of me one day possibly becoming a jw was crushed, she has shut down.
Although she has never been open to me about any of her real beliefs. I know everything I know about JW's through my own research. She has never really mentioned anything to me about any of her beliefs. Which is why I feel that I never really knew my wife until I did my research and then my blinders dropped and everything began to make sence. She hid her innerself from me for years and yet I could see she was hiding something but I couldnt put my finger on it.
Well, looking back i think i knew but didnt want to confront the cult personality. When we did have brief conversations about it a she pretty much said to me what is there to say. In other words nothing can be done about it it is what it is.
Its gone on like this for years. Shes a good woman but no ones perfect she has her flaws goo and not all of then i attribute to her religion, just the ones that annoy me.
