I try not to but I struggle with it alot. Being raised Catholic i was subtly taught to respect others beliefs. They have a right to be wrong i thought. But applying critical thinking to the jw belief system and doctrines it has been easy to see thru their "we teach only what the bible says, what other religion does" blah blah blah infantile arguements. Ive struggled with my own religious upbringing too but for different reasons. Damn, i hate where my life is right now.
marriedtoajw
JoinedPosts by marriedtoajw
-
1
Do you judge your jw mate for their decision to become a jw?
by marriedtoajw ini try not to but i struggle with it alot.
being raised catholic i was subtly taught to respect others beliefs.
they have a right to be wrong i thought.
-
-
-
10
Married to jws, give me stength
by marriedtoajw inmy 23 year old son gave his first talk last year.
he met a catholic girl shortly after that, his girlfriend now, and got a part time job and stopped going to meetings.
hasn't been to one in almost a year.
-
-
marriedtoajw
Ok guys, all the financial advice is appreciated its all being done. Minimums on almost everything. Cell phones and cable totaling $350/mo is the only luxuries, everything else is being done.
Yes an enabler i have been to my oldest son because i wanted him to have a sence of responsibility in paying me back what ive done for him. He had paud some but he doesnt make much and jobs are not plentiful.
My wifes entire immediate famly dont have jobs. Mom, dad, sis,bil, all do odd jobs and ren theur homes from a jw charging cheap rent, grandmas retired, even aunts and uncles are either in jail. employed part time or do odd jobs, most of them jws. They've all lost their houses years ago.
Sometimes it seems that they have to justify their beliefs by creating situations that produce the problems they say the world produces, ie financial distress, bad familial relationships, delusional thinking etc.
Because ive always wanted some sort of spiritual unity with my wife, ive entertained the thought tat maybe ive been wrong about the watchtower. But that feeling doesnt last long. Ive learned too much... ive even thought of joining her in this religion in hopes of somehow getting her out from within. I just dont have the strength...
-
10
Married to jws, give me stength
by marriedtoajw inmy 23 year old son gave his first talk last year.
he met a catholic girl shortly after that, his girlfriend now, and got a part time job and stopped going to meetings.
hasn't been to one in almost a year.
-
-
marriedtoajw
My 23 year old son gave his first talk last year. He met a catholic girl shortly after that, his girlfriend now, and got a part time job and stopped going to meetings. Hasn't been to one in almost a year. His part tine job that my dister got for him required him to work sunday mornings. I have found condoms and weed in his room, didnt confront him about it. My wife has been spiratic in her meeting attendence during this time after a gung ho stint when she didnt miss a meeting for about a year after being spiratic in her attendence years before that.
Ive been working 12 hour days 6 days a week most weeks for years to support us. My wife doesnt work and has never looked for work. She has blamed me a few times for that by claiming we had no gas money to look for work or blamed our computer beibg down and couldnt search for work online. When they are both up and running, she still doesnt look for work. Ive had to borrow money from family to keep things going, just under 10k over the last 2 years and we still might lose our house to the shock of my famy who i had to inform becsuse of how close we have come to losing it despite the help my family has given me. Im in bankruptcy now just to save the house and still it might not work. My wife is totally dillusional about so many things. My siblings use to come over my house or we would go to theirs just to bbq and hang out all the time. But there's tension now because my wifes indifference to our situation disturbs them when they see how hard i work. They dont respect my wife because of it. Weve had a couple of uncles pull away from extended family after becoming jws so my family knows the drill.
Im not sure if my wifes jwism causes her indifference to our financial situation. Confrontation is against my nature so i supress alot of things which i know isnt healthy but im married to a jw with kids, i shouldnt have to say more than that. Now my son tells me he is quitting his job so he can attend meetings. He begged me to let him have a dog that he almost never cares for, has a $600 cell phone he has barely made a dent paying me back for it. I spent 1k trying to get his car running that i bought for him.
I blame my wife and her family for instilling a mentality that Jehovah will bail them out of their financial responsinilities. They cant see anything long term.
Im done with suppressing stuff. Let the chips fall where they may.
-
14
Is the Watchtower a secret society?
by marriedtoajw indoes the watchtower teach that keeping secrets is ok?
does its leadership believe that the advancement of the organization hinges on holding back truthful information from prospective members and others who are not in leadership positions?
do you believe that the organization as a whole has a global agenda?
-
-
marriedtoajw
Does the Watchtower teach that keeping secrets is ok? Does its leadership believe that the advancement of the organization hinges on holding back truthful information from prospective members and others who are not in leadership positions? Do you believe that the organization as a whole has a global agenda? Do you believe that the organization has a desire that world governments be abolished? Do you believe that the Watchtower Society has a desire to abolish national borders? Do you believe that the Socitey wishes to live in harmony with people who don't subscribe to their belief system? Do you believe the Watchtower Society wants peace? Do you believe the Watchtower Society wants to control the actions, thoughts and behavior of its members? Do you believe they believe the leaders if the Society know the best way to live? Do they teach and believe that a New World is on the way? Do you believe that the Society imploys mind control tactics? Do you believe that the Society wouuld like traditional Christianity, especially the Catholic Church, be destroyed? Do you believe the Society is involved in the occult, ie spiritism, enochianism? Do you believe there are other leadership members not known to the rank and file? Do you believe the Society would leave documented evidence if the answer to any of these were yes? Are the answers to any of these questions impossible to hide? Just my thoughts these days...
-
11
Most of my extended family have no idea my wife is a jw.
by marriedtoajw inyou non-jws who have jw mates or anyone interested in responding.
do you or would you tell extended family that your spouse is a jw.
i ask because i have a couple of other relatives who are jws who pulled away from the family the years ago that caused some hurt to family that use to be close to them.
-
-
marriedtoajw
Thank you jnat, carla and steve. I think you guys are right across the board. I wont bring up the hypocricy although its been on the tip of my tongue lately. Since ive become so intimately aware now if all jwisms and doctrines i see thru so much of what use to cause bewilderment. I still hate this relugion and ive had such a hard time allowing myself to just let my wife just be a jw. I see the wrong in it but cant do a thing to help her.
-
11
Most of my extended family have no idea my wife is a jw.
by marriedtoajw inyou non-jws who have jw mates or anyone interested in responding.
do you or would you tell extended family that your spouse is a jw.
i ask because i have a couple of other relatives who are jws who pulled away from the family the years ago that caused some hurt to family that use to be close to them.
-
-
marriedtoajw
Steve2 your examples are like bullet points that my wife has violated more than once. Shs dressed up as a fairy to a holloween party where many of my relatives were present, goes to birthday parties including to her nonjw family without me, so its not like i pressure her in any way, goes to my family christmas gathering every year, has cling her glass with my cousins who would hug and kiss her after a toast, etc. I dont bring up these apparant contradictions when they occur. I just know that one day she's going start to begin to refuse these things. Maybe i should be grateful shes not uber but its so confusing at the same time. Just waiting for the hammer to drop causes anxiety that i hate feeling. Because im anticipating the hammer to drop i think i should tell them so that they dont inadvertently say something antijw as they have in the passed. It causes awkward moments later on.
-
11
Most of my extended family have no idea my wife is a jw.
by marriedtoajw inyou non-jws who have jw mates or anyone interested in responding.
do you or would you tell extended family that your spouse is a jw.
i ask because i have a couple of other relatives who are jws who pulled away from the family the years ago that caused some hurt to family that use to be close to them.
-
-
marriedtoajw
You non-jws who have jw mates or anyone interested in responding. Do you or would you tell extended family that your spouse is a jw. I ask because i have a couple of other relatives who are jws who pulled away from the family the years ago that caused some hurt to family that use to be close to them. So very rare but on occassion disperaging comments are made about the jw religion. Its happened a few times with my wife sitting right there. Many of my family are catholic family assume my wife is catholic too. My wife is very gaurded and private so she wont say anything about religion ever.
If i were to tell tjem she is a jw, they would be surprised. Ive never got use to the awkwardness of our situation.
-
19
More friction with jw wife regarding moms bday bbq.
by marriedtoajw inthe wife is starting to pull away from my family.
its my fault but i couldnt help it.
my fault because for years my sistets were indifferent to my wifes jwness.
-
-
marriedtoajw
Please someone elaborate on this shunning issue. Why would my wife say shunning is terrible and still be part of an organization that supposedly requires its members to shun former members. Is it possible for her to be that ignorant of the society's teaching on this.
-
19
More friction with jw wife regarding moms bday bbq.
by marriedtoajw inthe wife is starting to pull away from my family.
its my fault but i couldnt help it.
my fault because for years my sistets were indifferent to my wifes jwness.
-
-
marriedtoajw
Hi witness, ummm she went to 2 day assembly in July. Thing is she was in the middle of a lull. She hadn't miss a meeting in almost a year up til that point. Then in late May i think she started skipping meetings and probably only went to 2 or 3 meetings til now. Elders came to check on her once and called her as well. I have a hard time calling jws brother or sister but "a sister" came over one day to invite her to a "get together" which she didnt go to. I've seen it in the passed where she would get gungho after an assembly but not this time. The assembly was in the middle of a 4 month lull for her. I think the lull started when we just happened to be watching a documentary about Scientology on tv and the topic of shunning was being discussed. I could feel my wife getting uncomfortable and then she said how terrible that was.
Now see, its stuff like that that confuses me because all the research that ive done it seens that all jws know that thet are suppose to shun ex members. So either my wife is playing dumb about this or its not as integraded into jw culture a must or as much as its said on this site and others. What explains this?
-
19
More friction with jw wife regarding moms bday bbq.
by marriedtoajw inthe wife is starting to pull away from my family.
its my fault but i couldnt help it.
my fault because for years my sistets were indifferent to my wifes jwness.
-
-
marriedtoajw
I dont know if she had a good time or not. I think she use to have a good time at these family events but i think she has become more gaurded since she knows i have talked to my sisters about our issues. She's always had problems with trusting anyone. She's much more expressive and open when shes around her family, even the nonjw ones but not to the degree as when she is with her jw family. She's always laughing at almost everything when she's around them. I mean awkwardly so. She's never like that around anyone else. She holds back it seems but she seems to have a better time when she's around my extended family. Not so much when she's with my sisters anymore.