Posts by nita6368

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Sentinel, I agree his family has not had the burden of supporting him since I have been around. thanks for your wishes, I am making steps to get out.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

thanks ugg...I agree with you....hugs back to you!

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

Thanks. More and more it is looking like the clean break would be more beneficial to me. It is his home he had it before we were together, I am looking for a house in the school district so my kids don't have to switch schools. As far as my feelings for him, we are not equals it is like I am taking care of another child (a child with free reign of the checkbook). I was quite hardened after my divorce with the jw and sometimes I catch myself feeling like I just haven't given him enough of a chance but deep down I know I have and if one of my friends brought this situation to me I would tell her to leave...now. It has just been hard with everyone around him singing his praises for me to look at him realistically and not how I wanted him or believed him to be. I am seperating my money, I have my bills in a debt consolidation plan (he did a number on my credit) and I have a new reliable car. I have been slowly getting my stuff ready. I don't think he will be violent but as one of you said he will move on to his next free ride and yes she will be educated on his ways if I have anything to say about it. his stepmother tells me she feels bad because she knew about him and didn't say anything to me for fear of fallout from his dad.So I guess I have been trying to make a crazy situation sane. thank-you all for your words of wisdom, you have helped me to see I'm not crazy or hasty.

Spaz,

You are perfectly clear! I was not understanding you completely before.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

jgnat,

oh in his families eyes he can do no wrong, he comes home at 3:30 and plays video games until at least 10:00 (hes playing right now!) every night and they think thats ok...cause he's unwinding. his mom came to visit this summer and spent $2,000 on Nascar junk on him then went home and borrowed money from her dad to pay her rent.And thinks it's ok. Every one nearly worships him in his family. He was the first son, the first grandson, the first great grandson and he still has all of his granparents alive, they are in their 80's.. Unfortunately I have only one brother left, my parents and another brother have all passed away. I do have several good friends to rely on though.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Thanks Spaz,

The last time I gave him the opportunity to take care of things we received a foreclose notice on the house. he borrowed money from his dad to pay the phone bill and money from his grandpa to pay house taxes. He has never ever had to buckle down and do anything, his family always bails him out. I am finding out this has been going on for a very long time. I cannot lose certain things...like the house so he knows I will step in. I am afraid the situation with my kids will get worse if it continues, I have 3 boys the older 2 are teenagers the other is 9. I do not want them to grow up to be this way. I agree it is a bad example. Thanks for your advice.

Good nite All...thanks for everything, I have alot to think about and will check back in the morning. As for now its bedtime

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Thank-You Scully.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

thanks Scully

I opened another account before Christmas and have changed my direct deposit payroll to it. I know ultimately this is my fault for letting him do it. Slowly it seems he has taken over everything. I will get it back in control.

Edited by - nita6368 on 1 January 2003 22:25:9

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

bigfloppydog...

Yes it is a pattern I am afraid...He has been married twice before....each marriage broke up right before the three year mark. That must be how long it takes to realize its not going to get any better...I am just slow.

Nathan,

Thanks for the "brotherly" advice. Being on my own sounds really good.At least then I will be responsible for my own happiness not unhappy because of someone else's actions. Or something like that. Thanks.

Edited by - nita6368 on 1 January 2003 22:4:31

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Thanks Everyone.....

I have told him not to discipline my kids...works for awhile then back to usual. I do stick up for my kids all the time when he is in the wrong about things.

As far as trading down my last husband was brain dead cult member ..couldn't have gotten any lower. I was doing good on my own for 4 years. Thought it would be nice to share my life I guess I just didnt pick an equal partner. As far as being emotionally drained...I am nearly there. Thanks so much you guys.....you are confirming alot of my thought!

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Thank-you ladies...I agree with you 100%. We have talked about seperate accounts and money and bills and he resists me. This has been so hard for me because to the outside world he seems like a great guy. No one knows the turmoil at home. His family backs him 100% and I am made out to be the bad guy because I have put a stop to his spending. The truth is I bring in 3 times his income in a month.Thanks for your perspectives and I believe I am on my way out.