Posts by nita6368

12

im sooo p***** off

by nelly1 in

jw
friends

one of the witness sisters who sometimes comes to see me came today.

i remeber telling u all a while ago that abt a month ago an elder and an ms came to my house to do the where are you visit.. well i of course told them i didnt want to discuss it and said a prompt goodbye... well isnt it interesting that it doesnt take long for the so called discreet confidentiality to be broken huh?.

i hear today that a sister told this other sister that an elder came to see me and i told him to get lost..... seems they gossip more than i thought now i was majorly pisssssssssssed off about that.. they r such freakin hypocrites!!!!

nita6368

((nellie))

When my now ex husband(jw) went to the elders about our so-called marital problems the elders at the meeting told him that they were going to tell their wives (whom I was close friends with) to stop associating with me as they now viewed me as bad association. Guess what...they did! I was marked before I ever stepped foot back in the kh, before I ever met with the elders. Do you think the elders wives shared this info with everyone else? They did.The grapevine runs rampant in kh, Their loss!

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

See What I mean?

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Stan,

I was just using this discussion forum as a sounding board and would not base my decision solely on what anyone said whether I knew them personally or not. Sometimes its just good to hear like stories and "hey your not crazy!" As far as the Nascar, he didn't become a "fan" until Dale Earnhardt died , then he became the ultimate fan. Do I think he is a kid...yes. When I say he has nascar stuff , it is floor to ceiling on two walls and two walls, midway up. The ceiling in the room is 14 foot. The walls are covered. See he jumps on the trend bandwagon. First it was hockey memorabilia. We worked through that period and several thousand dollars. Then it was wrestling memorabilia, didn't stay there long. Now it is nascar. As I said before, he was a kid with my checkbook, it just took me awhile to stop believing him.The first time I took the checkbook he discovered paypal, now he's not on my account.Thanks for your advice :)

John,

Good Luck to ya I hope it's nearly over. I am hoping mine goes a little easier than that. I am hoping he just gets out and looks for someone to take over payments!I think thats where I came in, in all honesty.I am sure he will try and look impoverished also but I am retaining the receipts from where he has been working for his dad, he makes $26.00/hour when he does.But he doesn't consider that income just his extra money.Now that I am not supplying him with extra money all of a sudden the work for dad has stopped. I believe he is still doing it afterwork, he gets home about 3 hours before I do. He always has money in his wallet, I on the other hand....Unbelievable the stuff we can get into and the time it takes for us to realize how bad it is and get out. I hated to not believe and put trust in someone even though my instincts and intuition told me other wise. I am going with the instincts and intuition from now on. A lesson learned I guess.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

ughhh...my computer is being difficult!

breeze, thanks for the advice the craziness has been going on 3 years and doesnt seem to get any better.

John, I agree with you and I am tired of having to support an adult whos capable of supporting himself. he could earn big bucks because he has years of heavy equip experience but chooses to stay at a less than 20k a year job because its close to the house,4 miles and he doesnt want to work nights or weekends, so we struggle.before I came along he didnt even hold an outside job but worked for his dad and his dad paid his bills, crazy, huh?

Lady Lee, I loved the article and I have been feeling guilty but I realized I have held up my end of the vows.

Good news, I spoke with my two older boys and they can't wait to leave, I was afraid they were attached. he has been really hurting their feelings. "out of the mouths of babes"! I will keep ya posted

John,

One more thing...for the last probably 2.5 years my marriage has been a struggle everyday...some good times mostly turmoil for me that is, he doesnt have a care in the world. Was your marriage like that? Where you had to struggle everyday just to keep going?

Edited by - nita6368 on 5 January 2003 17:56:5

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Sentinel, I agree his family has not had the burden of supporting him since I have been around. thanks for your wishes, I am making steps to get out.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

thanks ugg...I agree with you....hugs back to you!

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Spaz, Scully , Dana and Nathan

Thanks. More and more it is looking like the clean break would be more beneficial to me. It is his home he had it before we were together, I am looking for a house in the school district so my kids don't have to switch schools. As far as my feelings for him, we are not equals it is like I am taking care of another child (a child with free reign of the checkbook). I was quite hardened after my divorce with the jw and sometimes I catch myself feeling like I just haven't given him enough of a chance but deep down I know I have and if one of my friends brought this situation to me I would tell her to leave...now. It has just been hard with everyone around him singing his praises for me to look at him realistically and not how I wanted him or believed him to be. I am seperating my money, I have my bills in a debt consolidation plan (he did a number on my credit) and I have a new reliable car. I have been slowly getting my stuff ready. I don't think he will be violent but as one of you said he will move on to his next free ride and yes she will be educated on his ways if I have anything to say about it. his stepmother tells me she feels bad because she knew about him and didn't say anything to me for fear of fallout from his dad.So I guess I have been trying to make a crazy situation sane. thank-you all for your words of wisdom, you have helped me to see I'm not crazy or hasty.

Spaz,

You are perfectly clear! I was not understanding you completely before.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

jgnat,

oh in his families eyes he can do no wrong, he comes home at 3:30 and plays video games until at least 10:00 (hes playing right now!) every night and they think thats ok...cause he's unwinding. his mom came to visit this summer and spent $2,000 on Nascar junk on him then went home and borrowed money from her dad to pay her rent.And thinks it's ok. Every one nearly worships him in his family. He was the first son, the first grandson, the first great grandson and he still has all of his granparents alive, they are in their 80's.. Unfortunately I have only one brother left, my parents and another brother have all passed away. I do have several good friends to rely on though.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Thanks Spaz,

The last time I gave him the opportunity to take care of things we received a foreclose notice on the house. he borrowed money from his dad to pay the phone bill and money from his grandpa to pay house taxes. He has never ever had to buckle down and do anything, his family always bails him out. I am finding out this has been going on for a very long time. I cannot lose certain things...like the house so he knows I will step in. I am afraid the situation with my kids will get worse if it continues, I have 3 boys the older 2 are teenagers the other is 9. I do not want them to grow up to be this way. I agree it is a bad example. Thanks for your advice.

Good nite All...thanks for everything, I have alot to think about and will check back in the morning. As for now its bedtime

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Thank-You Scully.