Posts by nita6368

9

DRUMLINE.....any band geeks here?

by LDH in

ok, i'll admit it.

i've seen it twice, and i'm going to see it again saturday.. i even take my daughter and her friends as cover (lol).. some of you know my daughter is on the drumline at her school, and next year she'll be stepping up to the big time as she joins a nationally ranked marching band in the area.

she happens to play snare drum, which is the instrument featured in the movie and damn she is good.

nita6368

My son plays the trumpet in the junior high marching and jazz band. I remeber when he started playing and I was so excited when I actually recognized "kumbuya" when he was playing it. Now after 2 years he blows me away. When he started playing it I thought it was strange for a kid to want to play the trumpet, but he said he liked the sound of it. It has been a great experience for us!

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

(((Brummie))) Thanks for your kind words!

Oh my goodness I have actually had the District Overbeer post on one of my threads Thanks Valis!

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

OK...here is a little background. My boys are all honor roll students.My oldest son is a governors scholar and both he and my thirteen year old are in the gifted and talented program at school.My 8 year old is doing well in school with 6 a's and 1 b on his last report card. My boys go to bed at 9:00 on school nights even my 16 year old.My 2 younger kids play baseball and my oldest plays football.My kids are not nasty, not rebelling they were raised as witness children and the oldest 2 gave talks at the hall.

As far as my last marriage of ten years. I was married to a dub. He committed adultery 5 times in the 10 years we were married. He was publicly reproved and disfellowshipped twice. I put up with the crap for ten years.Then I left him and divorced, he is now married to his last girlfriend.He paid $50/week support and we struggled. I work full time and have a good job but boys can be expensive. But I did it, I was not on welfare. I took up his slack. I was on my own with my boys for 3 years. I got my self financially stable had a nice home , provided a nice life for my boys.

Now here we are in this marriage, you say I am worried about money. My children are my fianancial responsibility. My husbands childsupport is garnished from his paycheck so his child is taken care of whether he works one day or all week. Why is his support garnished? Because he did not pay, he shirked the responsibility of his childsupport, this all took place before I came into the picture. Since we have been together he has repaid $6,000.00 back.His house was in foreclosure when we married and they came to our house to repo the truck.He assured me he had just had some financial troubles and it would get better.Guess what we got a foreclosure letter in the mail day before yesterday. Seems the house payment he was making got used for other things. In the last year he has increased our monthly debt by $1000.00 on loans that do not have my name on them but have been cosigned by his father but guess what as his wife I am still responsible.He doesn't even bring home $1,000/month.

Some of my other posts had more history to my past and some posters here know more about my situation. There has been more than just words to my children from him. Do you have children? It seems easy for you to talk negatively about them...I am assuming you are speaking from experience?

Edited by - nita6368 on 8 January 2003 10:49:14

Edited by - nita6368 on 8 January 2003 10:50:8

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Excuse me Hekate?

Life is a pretty good teacher and while these individuals may or may not be psychologists (you need to watch who you are putting down there are many phd holders on this board!) they have many years of life's experience behind them. What would a psychologist tell me? They would tell me to leave, to take care of my children first,myself ,then worry about others. I know that, I knew that before I posted this. I am a social worker and deal with these kinds of situations everyday. But you know what, its a little harder when its yourself. It's easy to cast judgement when you are removed from the situation. So I wasn't looking for a solution or an easy way out on this board but what I was looking for I found...a little fellow feeling, some encouragement, some support. There are many on this board who had long happy relationships and I would take there advice alot quicker than someone who has never been in a relationship but has been through 8 years of school and read alot of books. As far as me not taking responsibility on myself, you don't know me or anything about me. I guess maybe I didn't understand the meaning for your post, seem strange for a lurkers first post to be one tearing down the other posters but hey to each their own.

15

Fornication or loving intimacy???

by Raisputin in

so, my question is (and i am posting this on the other board as well for any that know me there).. what is the difference between "fornication" and "loving intimacy"?

by loving intimacy, yes i am still talking about sex, but i am speaking of sex between two people that care about each other and are in a relationship of some sort as opposed to a one-night stand..... for me the difference would be:.

"fornication": 1 night stand.

nita6368

I agree with SS and Syn..(I think)

I don't think Sex and Love go together in the same context. Sex is sex and Love is love. You can love someone you don't have sex with. You can have sex with someone you don't love. Just because you are having sex with someone you love doesn't make it intitmate. Sex has always been taboo and religions try and make it not so by saying it is ok and beautiful if you are married , in a loving committed relationship. But what it all boils down to is sex is sex. Human function, reproductive function. Can be beautiful, might not be.

21

"Alone I break" if how I feel inside

by Truth2Me in

" i wanted to cry but i was too numb inside.

several days went by, i had my judicial hearing (i think that was sunday), they told me that i was going to be disfellowshipped.

i accepted that i deserved that.

nita6368

((((Truth2Me)))

Wow what an experience...You are such a strong person! You may not feel that way right now, but you have gotten through so much.I believe we come into contact with the people in our lives for a specific reason, to learn something, to complete something possibly. You are just getting the not so desirable ones out of your way early on :) This is a great place to interact with some really great people. Sometimes when you stop looking for that "right" person thats when you find them. I agree with what Comf said. You have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else.You seem like a great person don't let anyone treat you different. My email is open if you ever need to talk, vent, complain..whatever

12

im sooo p***** off

by nelly1 in

jw
friends

one of the witness sisters who sometimes comes to see me came today.

i remeber telling u all a while ago that abt a month ago an elder and an ms came to my house to do the where are you visit.. well i of course told them i didnt want to discuss it and said a prompt goodbye... well isnt it interesting that it doesnt take long for the so called discreet confidentiality to be broken huh?.

i hear today that a sister told this other sister that an elder came to see me and i told him to get lost..... seems they gossip more than i thought now i was majorly pisssssssssssed off about that.. they r such freakin hypocrites!!!!

nita6368

((nellie))

When my now ex husband(jw) went to the elders about our so-called marital problems the elders at the meeting told him that they were going to tell their wives (whom I was close friends with) to stop associating with me as they now viewed me as bad association. Guess what...they did! I was marked before I ever stepped foot back in the kh, before I ever met with the elders. Do you think the elders wives shared this info with everyone else? They did.The grapevine runs rampant in kh, Their loss!

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

See What I mean?

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

Stan,

I was just using this discussion forum as a sounding board and would not base my decision solely on what anyone said whether I knew them personally or not. Sometimes its just good to hear like stories and "hey your not crazy!" As far as the Nascar, he didn't become a "fan" until Dale Earnhardt died , then he became the ultimate fan. Do I think he is a kid...yes. When I say he has nascar stuff , it is floor to ceiling on two walls and two walls, midway up. The ceiling in the room is 14 foot. The walls are covered. See he jumps on the trend bandwagon. First it was hockey memorabilia. We worked through that period and several thousand dollars. Then it was wrestling memorabilia, didn't stay there long. Now it is nascar. As I said before, he was a kid with my checkbook, it just took me awhile to stop believing him.The first time I took the checkbook he discovered paypal, now he's not on my account.Thanks for your advice :)

John,

Good Luck to ya I hope it's nearly over. I am hoping mine goes a little easier than that. I am hoping he just gets out and looks for someone to take over payments!I think thats where I came in, in all honesty.I am sure he will try and look impoverished also but I am retaining the receipts from where he has been working for his dad, he makes $26.00/hour when he does.But he doesn't consider that income just his extra money.Now that I am not supplying him with extra money all of a sudden the work for dad has stopped. I believe he is still doing it afterwork, he gets home about 3 hours before I do. He always has money in his wallet, I on the other hand....Unbelievable the stuff we can get into and the time it takes for us to realize how bad it is and get out. I hated to not believe and put trust in someone even though my instincts and intuition told me other wise. I am going with the instincts and intuition from now on. A lesson learned I guess.

44

I am confused......Any opinions???

by nita6368 in

i have read alot of the advice offered on this board and was hoping to broaden my thoughts on my problem any opinons will be appreciated.

i have been married for 3 years.

i don't have any children by this man but have 3 from a previous marriage.

nita6368

ughhh...my computer is being difficult!

breeze, thanks for the advice the craziness has been going on 3 years and doesnt seem to get any better.

John, I agree with you and I am tired of having to support an adult whos capable of supporting himself. he could earn big bucks because he has years of heavy equip experience but chooses to stay at a less than 20k a year job because its close to the house,4 miles and he doesnt want to work nights or weekends, so we struggle.before I came along he didnt even hold an outside job but worked for his dad and his dad paid his bills, crazy, huh?

Lady Lee, I loved the article and I have been feeling guilty but I realized I have held up my end of the vows.

Good news, I spoke with my two older boys and they can't wait to leave, I was afraid they were attached. he has been really hurting their feelings. "out of the mouths of babes"! I will keep ya posted

John,

One more thing...for the last probably 2.5 years my marriage has been a struggle everyday...some good times mostly turmoil for me that is, he doesnt have a care in the world. Was your marriage like that? Where you had to struggle everyday just to keep going?

Edited by - nita6368 on 5 January 2003 17:56:5