Oh and she is also 100% aware of how apostate I am now. And she's okay with it.
I have to admit that this big guy cried a little when I spilled all of my feelings and she didn't bat an eye and said she was sticking with me.
I know how lucky I am. I hope for every dude out there waiting for his wife to wake up gets to someday experience this feeling.
P.S. If it weren't for cognitive therapy, I may never have opened up to her like I did. I'll always be grateful to my therapist for that.