notalone

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Posts by notalone

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  26

  Help with fading, please...

  by longgone in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

  i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

  i'm another born in, third generation.

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  notalone

  I am also a born in 4th gen close to 50. Stay away from the meetings, you have been programmed to return. Things will be said that will only heighten your imposed guilt and open you to their control. I understand your concern for your father, but you also mentioned a sister. One of the big traps is there is always someone who will be upset with you for not behaving the way they want you to. You can't please all of the people all of the time. As any witness understands those who don't love truth will fight against you.
  

  You sound like someone who values truth. Does you father value truth and instill that love in you? Honor him by remaining a person of integrity. You don't have to hit them with everything you have learned or every decision you make. This is sadly another programing tool to control us. As they themselves bring out, they do not tell a new study everything at once but they do it when they are ready. So follow this example and only say what will be beneficial for them. This is something I do. There is a site called Borean Pickets they discuss recent meetings and point out inconsistencies. I also follow any new announcements on this site. I then proactively slip this into conversations and use terminology that makes JW's feel safe. Example: "It's just like they said in morning worship the other day... You know what was brought out in the convention this summer... " I made a point that I am having trouble getting out right now but this is giving me the opportunity for 'deepening' my personal study with an interlinear and looking at the Hebrew and Greek. Go on and on about words and definitions. Guess what, most witnesses are not scholars so they will just tune you out. I did in depth research on the words translated as sin.and shared it with everyone, they just smile and nod. But the best advice I can give is keep proving to yourself this is not the truth. Look up everything and keep records so that you can look back and see what you have accomplished. I have several folders and periodically opening them and just scanning them strengthens my resolve.
  
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  53

  Did anyone vote yet?

  by NewYork44M in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i voted today in nyc.

  a well organized process.

  very busy and most of the people voting were african american.

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  notalone

  First in 100 years to vote. We didn't know if we were quite ready to take that step but, we really felt it was a moral obligation.Afterwards we were quite let down. The heavens didn't open up. Locusts didn't pour out from some deep crevice of the earth, and no marks appeared for the angels to see that we were henceforth condemned to eternal destruction. All I got was a sticker.
  
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  21

  JW's know how to guilt trip....

  by HereIgo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  when i left the org, the jw's tried their best to guilt trip me.

  some of the questions i was asked and things i was told:.

  "how could you possibly be happy outside of jehovah's organization?

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  notalone

  Here's one:

  So how are you?

  Well, I'm not dead yet, so your not bloodguilty.
  
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  17

  Anybody else having trouble walking away?

  by JW-Matrix in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok...so i'm a 19 year old fifth generation jw.

  mentality, i've been out of the "truth" since i was 16(woke up after i was baptized ironically), but on the outside i'm a model jw.

  my parents are really devoted, my grandparents are super devoted, and so are my ants and uncles.

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  notalone

  JW Matrix, welcome. I am close to 50 and a fourth gen with my children being fifth.Two years ago we were the uber-witnesses. I had read the IT books, the Proclaimers and everything written by the society since the 50's. I would even call out others during the watchtower citing other publications. I truly and deeply believed it all. Now as of this year three gens have left. All of us. I tell you this to say there is always hope if someone is doing things for the right reason. As a mother I am going to give you a little motherly advice. Have a plan and understand why you are making these choices. While in college build friendships, study hard and get a degree. Save money. Tell everyone you are making plans to move where the need is greater (this is not a lie. There is a great need for you to get away if you want to be the best person you can be). Tell them you would rather interact out in the field if they try to push bethel. When you graduate, find a job that is far enough away that no one could easily drive to and no one knows you. Occasionally, go to a congregation not in the same area, so no one can happen upon your home. Then drop off the radar. Call family occasionally so they know you aren't dead, but don't try to keep a relationship. There are a lot of great people out there, go meet them. You were raised in a cult so be careful that you don't find yourself in co-dependent relationships. Educate yourself on healing and always choose to have people in your life that like the real you and inspire you. If you ever need to talk just message my husband or I.
  
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  18

  Singing

  by skimthesurface in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  despite not wanting to be a jw anymore and not being at meetings for a few months, still have k. songs coming into my head- both from old and new song books - usually whilst working.

  anyone else?

  how does it make you feel?.

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  notalone

  I had a particular song that I had sung to my daughter as a lullaby. It was a song that made her feel safe. She did not want us to throw it away, that song that was so much a part of her life. So we changed the lyrics and now we have the memories and freedom.
  
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  6

  Help! I need documents about elderly giving

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we are facing an immediate need.the society is trying to set up a guardian over a wealthy.we need documents that show that they will try to influence him to get his money..

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  notalone

  thank you, thank you wifibandit. That is just what I needed.shirlyw and zeb this person is a family member that due to death threats on his part we have a restraining order against . The court is now trying to determine who should be temporary guardian. The ward preference is considered.He has put froward someone he has only known for a couple of years who was a long time bethalite. We have seen notes that suggest he may be planning to give the org a million dollars, so we expect a fight, but he is severely mentally ill and deemed so by the state. I will keep you updated. Thanks again for the quick replies.
  
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  6

  Help! I need documents about elderly giving

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we are facing an immediate need.the society is trying to set up a guardian over a wealthy.we need documents that show that they will try to influence him to get his money..

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  notalone

  We were at court today,when this person was presented. We need to make quick arguments to not allowing a Jw to have financial control.
  
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  6

  Help! I need documents about elderly giving

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we are facing an immediate need.the society is trying to set up a guardian over a wealthy.we need documents that show that they will try to influence him to get his money..

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  notalone

  I am looking for the estate planning documents they take to the elderly and if possible any letter to elders discussing how to handle these matters.
  
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  6

  Help! I need documents about elderly giving

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we are facing an immediate need.the society is trying to set up a guardian over a wealthy.we need documents that show that they will try to influence him to get his money..

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  notalone

  We are facing an immediate need.The society is trying to set up a guardian over a wealthy.We need documents that show that they will try to influence him to get his money.
  
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  18

  I want to understand violence

  by Chook in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  tell me your thoughts ?.

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  notalone

  Violence, I know it personally and up close. I know it from the eyes of my father as he would beat us mercilessly with a belt or if handy 2by 4. I knew it when I saw him kill a woman. I saw it in the eyes of others, child molesters, abusers of wives children and animals. There is a difference between a philosophical discussion and know it, living with it, surviving it. There is also a difference between societial and personal.Individuals in a society can learn, can change, but a person who crosses that line and moves into the realm of evil there is nothing left but to stand up to it and not also become evil.. It is seen in the eyes when they harm. There is a distance to their eyes and also pleasure,not happiness a kinds of satisfying of a hunger.Sometimes it is loud like rage, but the worst is quiet and slow and there are no reasons or reasoning. Violence is a tool for evil when it feels weak, when it wants to assert control. It is funny, ironic, that this topic is here now. Right now there is an evil person that is making plans to kill my family. He was just released from the mental hospital and subsequently jail and now he has stated I am next. I have protected my children and pets, blocked my windows and doors, not in fear but in a quiet decision to face what may come. I bought a gun and have made the decision that if I have to face evil I will not be it's victim. So that is violence. Violence is a choice. I hope not all have to face.