notalone

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Posts by notalone

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  28

  Birthday Wishes Welcome!

  by LifesNotOver in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many of you don't know me or won't remember me.

  i left the jw's and my husband and my home last september - forging a new life in a new town.

  i haven't posted here for many months, but have been reading most days.

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  notalone

  may you have a happy 1st, 2nd, 3rd,4th,5th,6th, 7th.8th,9th,10,11th,12th,14th,15th,16th,17th,18th,19th,20th,21st,22nd,23rd,24th,25th,26th,27th,28th,29th,30th,31st,32nd,33rd,34th,35h,36,37th,38th,39th,40th,41st,42nd,43rd,44th,45th,46th,47th,48th,49th,50th,51st,52nd,53rd,54th,55th,56th,57th,58th,59th,60th,61st,62nd,63rd,64th,65th,66th,67th,68th,69th,70th,and 71th birthday and many, many more.
  
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  The handling of child abuse allegations

  by Landy in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  there's a lot of criticism surrounding the jw's handling of chiild abuse within their ranks with a lot of it being well deserved.

  but i'm interested to know how people on here think child abuse allegations should be handled.

  there's a few scenarios below, the first couple are easy then it gets a bit more complex.

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  notalone

  Interesting choice for scenarios, very odd choices. These seem a bit leading. All allegations that sexual abuse or unwanted sexual activities should go directly to the police, do not involve the elders. This is a crime and as we have been told they are not police.Then go to a professional that has been trained to help with the healing process for the attack. If after all these have been done and you feel that you personally are in need of solely spiritual help, and you believe that the elders are qualified to offer that help go to them with the understanding that they are only to deal with your spiritual well being. There are to be no discussions related to the perpetrator nor the crime you or anyone else were a victim of.
  
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  My families shunning has gone to a whole new level

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  8 months df'd.

  loving a life of freedom.

  however, my family are all shunning me.

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  notalone

  Dearest Pale Emperor, I am sorry to hear that your family has made it clear that their choice is, in their eyes, permanent.This can be very unsettling, but you can see this as the opportunity it is. Sometimes we see people for what we want them to be not what they are. Now that you are separate from them and with a little distance you can see the 'fruits' of those who were once part of your life. Read psychology and self-help books.Get counseling. They are out of your life, now get them out of your head.Recognize the unhealthy patterns that exist with these people, then honor yourself and your daughter. Promise yourself that from now on you will only build relationships with those that en spouse traits you value and encourage the best of humanity. Don't allow those who treat you as less than to be an integral part of your life. Teach this to your daughter by who you are. In this way you can break the chain of abuse and build a better life for you and your daughter.
  
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  40

  What finally helped you to peek behind the curtain

  by UnshackleTheChains in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm interested in finding out what it was that finally enabled you to open your eyes to the real truth of watchtower.

  what started me thinking, was the societys very own book...' 'revelation..it's grand climax at hand'.

  i found that book farcicle.

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  notalone

  Being told our "implied invitation" to attend the kingdom hall would be revoked if we moved froward with legal action with a molestor in the cong.
  
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  7

  to all a thank you

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to all on this site who from their hearts participate, thank you.

  you encourage thought, offer support and share laughs, thank you.

  you may never know what point has touched a heart or opened a mind.

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  notalone

  To all on this site who from their hearts participate, thank you. You encourage thought, offer support and share laughs, thank you. You may never know what point has touched a heart or opened a mind. You may never know who in deepest despair or facing an overwhelming challenge was inspired by what was shared here. So to all of you, thank you.
  
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  58

  baptised nearly 51 years

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  been reading this site for awhile now.

  i have had a long and often tragic life as a jw.

  my story is so long because i'm pretty old :) i feel sad i've been locked in fear and guilt for my entire life.

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  notalone

  Dearest Phoebe, I am about 50, a 4th gen born in. We have also had to deal with post traumatic abuse issues.My family left one year ago. There are going to be tough times ahead but believe it or not most are going to be internal struggles. What we found helpful is a nice email to all elders stating you are facing a medical problem and that you require all conversations to be in emails or writing.Make clear this is not negotiable. This will help to keep them at bay.If they push froward have a lawyer send them a letter to the same end. This is very beneficial. You can still associate with those you want but if a discussion comes up you are not comfortable with the way it is going, excuse yourself and send an email. Build associations with those outside. Take a creative class, go to a community center. Pray, pray and read a non New World translation bible. I found the God's Names bible helpful as it has God's more accurate name throughout. Keep researching and take advantage of this forum and wonderful support from like communities. We will all not only get through this together, but will find a happier more abundant life.
  
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  22

  For those that read the bible, does the true message of scripture still come through in NWT?

  by NikL in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my active and in jw wife is up for reading bible together.

  thing is she wants to use nwt.. i have problems with that translation as you my imagine.. just wondering if you thought the true message of the bible will shine through the deliberate tampering of the nwt?.

  i know many people here don't like or want to read the bible and think it's rubbish anyway, so if that's you, you can save your comments :-).

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  notalone

  Dear NicL,Yes, you can find 'the message' or truths from the NWT. When we started our path we strictly used only the NWT, but not the new grey version. A CO told me directly that the grey one one easier to understand but the older translation was more accurate. So I never went to the grey one for study. Recently, the org has distanced itself from even their own bible and long held understandings that it becomes clear something is wrong. We next went to the interlinear and Strong's concordance. For those in the org a long time we recognize these were referenced alot in the past. This took us to Bible Hub where we found versions we felt were accurate and easier to understand. I think the gradual transition is the best way to wean yourself off the NWT>
  
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  13

  GRACE? GRACE? What the F*** is GRACE? Jehovah's Witnesses have no idea!

  by TerryWalstrom in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i think all of us ex-j-dubs have had the --i'll call it a privilege--to exchange views with others who think differently than we do.

  we encounter "christians" from mainstream churches.our dialogue is sort of...like speaking to martians.sooner or later, an ex-dub smacks into a wall.

  that wall is a subject which is never spoken about or taught by the gb or watchtower with any candor.

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  notalone

  They take the word 'grace' with all its beauty and turned it into ' you are undeserving of kindness'. Each sunset, each fluffy puppy, each crispy bite of delicious food tells me I deserve kindness. Not only do I deserve kindness but all do. it is all around us. It connects us. It shows us a path to a higher version of what we can be. So if by no other standard than this it is clear that the NWT could not be from a God that values us, cares for us and about us. So if it is that you have a personal belief in God may His grace be with you.
  
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  33

  Which bible translation do you think is best and most acurate?

  by NikL in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those that still care to read the bible of course.

  those that don't, please keep the snarky comments to yourselves :-).

  i am assuming nwt is not very popular?.

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  notalone

  My family have managed to leave whilst maintaining faith in God, not religion. If you have been in the org a long time or are a born-in going to a Bible that does not include a Divine name can feel uncomfortable so we chose the Names of God Bible. We also used Biblehub and found we liked the Living Bible for everyday reading. I enjoy my interlinear and also have the Septuagint for more in depth reading. I also have a Quran which is interesting. Recently, I became more open to the Buddhist outlook. I have come to the place that in every nation at every time those who seek to know God will find him, the trick is to do it yourself. We can be inspired by another's search but our path is ours alone.
  
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  16

  "Intelligent" Witnesses

  by megaboy in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  after reading some experiences, i have found that this organization has had quite a big change in its operations within the last decade.

  back when i was talking to the ocassional witnesses at a local hotspot i remember some of them having respectable intelligence.

  what i want to know though is those who have been aquainted with who they felt were more educated and independent in thinking, how they handled the rapid changes.

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  notalone

  Three years ago I was totally in. I read everything- watchtower, science, history, philosophy,health. I am insatiable when it comes to learning and I loved a good debate. My sibling is a nuclear physicist who had been raised in the org but never became baptized. We had deep conversations using both the Bible and secular knowledge- not the org's literature.I recognized that most of those I knew within the org did not have this same love of learning. I always credited it to living in small towns in the deep south. I always tried to broaden their horizons by adding references outside the given articles. I was always outspoken on issues I felt were not accurate. Well, it was around this time, three years ago, I found myself screaming at articles and blackening out what was not accurate or was misleading. I would add notes next to these areas that counteracted the thought. After about three articles that had sizable redactions, I put them to the side- something was wrong. They were wanting complete obedience without questioning, something I would never give. This coincided with a profound personal situation that made it clear that the moral standards I believed in did not exist within this org. So I did what I do, but now we have the internet and access to more information then I had ever had before. I woke up and my whole family came with me. There were a few others like me , they also have left. I don't know, but it seems that those who really think have left, are leaving or are being pushed out.