notalone

Joined

• started 13 topics
• posted 97 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by notalone

• 
  32

  DA myself to relieve great pressure?

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my lifelong mental illnesses, fuelled significantly by the borg, are very bad at the moment and result in me missing lots of midweek meetings, but i haven't missed a sunday in years except the occasional vacation.. the nature of my mental and emotional illnesses mean that i, as a physically in and mentally out pimo, take to heart very painfully admonishment from the platform to never miss meetings, preach all i can, and so on.. okay, i report 3 hours each month on average and no elder has ever said anything, but when they make comments on the platform, i feel such great guilt and shame, but also anger, as they do not understand my illnesses and when i do mention my situation to elders, they kind of minimise and joke about it.. some other sisters in my congregation started "officially" not attending midweek meetings a few year's ago because of their own health circumstances, but i know for a fact that some elders look down on them for this reason, not showing real understanding deep down even if they do on the surface.. i have reached the point where i want to hand in a da letter as a cry for help, or more like a clear indicator to them that when i say i'm not well enough to attend midweek, i really mean it and it's not just an excuse.

  sure, i'm only 42, but i can still be too fragile to go out at night with a 30 minute drive both ways..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  I have been reading your post for a couple of days. I have been really thinking about the situation you are facing. You have been raised in a cult that controls not just what you do but the way you see yourself and handle decisions. I remember last years video where the 'elder' counseled himself for his thought pattern. 'Bad boy, you know you should never have a negative thought about someone else in the org, unless they don't come to meetings, go out in service, sell their home, pioneer, have negative thoughts or know the secret knock.'

  What other society other than a cult has 50 and 60 year old adults running for permission for their life decisions to a 30 something 'elder'? You are 42. You are an adult. If you want your father, or anyone else to treat you like an adult you are going to have to accept nothing less. DON'T ASK FOR PERMISSION from anyone even us.

  You are afraid, maybe even terrified. I know. We knew for a fact so many things. We knew why things are the way are. We knew where things were headed. We knew what was right and wrong. Now there is uncertainty. You know where you are now. You know what decisions you want to make. That is why you are here. Where you hesitate is fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of the known. Deep down you know how your family and other jw's will react. You want to find a way to make it different, to make them different. This is your choice how they act is their choice.

  Now, the the unknown . Unknown is not bad, it is unknown. You want someone to say everything is going to be okay. If anyone tells you that, they are selling something. There are going to be good days. There are going to be bad days. There are going to be days that go in all directions.In the end we want to look back at our decisions and say we always made the best decision we could at that moment in our life. In 15 years what do you want to look back and see? Do that.
  
• 
  20

  Who has ever succeeded in getting an elder fired ( demoted )?

  by Chook in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  it's nearly a job for life if you don't literally fu.. up..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  An Elder with alot of connections was going after a new sister that his wife had studied with. He was using scripture (Leah and Rachel) to confuse her. I went to the elders- nothing. At the next circuit assembly I went to the CO. He called at meeting right there at the assembly. The elder was removed.
  
• 
  6

  I don't want to go to the meeting and I feel good saying that

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so last night i got an emotional call from a friend, the same friend that recently said "we sound like a cult.

  " in last night's conversation she said she was tired of the truth.

  tired of jehovah.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  I was extremely careful. I always use scripture and phrases used by jw's. Often it is the very teachings put forward over the years that show their hypocrisy.When my family first started waking up it was the old articles from when I was young that showed me something was going on, something was very wrong, then piece by piece things became clearer.I believe that if someone had said something to me too early I would just have panicked and began reciting all the jw mind mantras. I talked with her today and she has already talked to someone from the other congregation and is following through with the move. I suspect it won't be long before she gets fed up with them. I have time and I am going to hang in there.
  
• 
  42

  “Tree of good and bad” means what?

  by venus in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  if “tree of good and bad” were literal, it would mean adam and eve would know what is “good and bad” only after eating of that tree.

  however, even before eating of it, they would think “it is good for us to eat of this tree” which means they are already endowed knowledge of “good and bad.” that means “tree of good and bad” is symbolic of something.. since religious organizations interpret this differently, each reader has to adopt his own conclusion.

  for me it looks like this: one thinks of good and bad in relation to himself—if something is beneficial for him he would say it is good for him, and bad for him if it is not beneficial.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  It is so funny you brought up this topic. I have been discussing this with my husband recently. I made the decision to read the different holy texts and to see what they actually say and not add outside interpretation. So this is what I am thinking about at this point. It says there was a tree of knowledge of 'good and bad'. The term 'of good and bad' could also mean 'everything'. There was also a tree of life.

  The bible does not say it was there as a test for mankind just that they were there. What we know is that it is stated that after eating from the tree they did understand things they didn't understand before. The human brain has a physical learning process. It is able to progress in learning when the synapses myelinate and cannot progress until that happens.

  What if it was always the intention of God to have Adam and Eve eat from the tree when they had matured enough. We know that God said that man was good not perfect( or complete) when he was created. It may have been (my own idea) that the eating of the tree caused an premature myelinating that they were not ready for and that this would cause problems. Like a three year old cooking on a stove or a five year old driving. If this were the case there would be a reason for the tree and it would explain the physical reaction to eating from it. It could also fit with the description God gave of the results of this premature knowledge. Also it was stated that if Adam and Eve ate from the tree of life they would continue to live. God may have known that they the way had physically altered themselves would become genetic and would only lead to problems that would need to be addressed.
  
• 
  6

  I don't want to go to the meeting and I feel good saying that

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so last night i got an emotional call from a friend, the same friend that recently said "we sound like a cult.

  " in last night's conversation she said she was tired of the truth.

  tired of jehovah.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  So last night I got an emotional call from a friend, the same friend that recently said "we sound like a cult." In last night's conversation she said she was tired of the truth. Tired of Jehovah. Tired of the brothers and does not want to do it anymore. She said that when she finally said it she felt really good. She immediately started to recite borg mind control, but she did not go to the meeting and confessed she has been making excuses to not go for a while. She just can't stand the hypocrisy and cliques. She ended the night by stating she will go back to her old cong that she left for the same reasons. She also has made the decision to go and tell the elders all the wrong things that are being done. I assured her that she had sound reasons for her feelings and warned her about confronting the elders.She said she didn't care if they disfellowship her. I don't think she is fully awake, in fact I think she is fighting it but I feel really hopeful. I want her to come to this decision on her own, but be there to support her. I am sharing this because sometimes we think that those still in will never break free, that this is where they want to be, and for some this is true, but the honest hearted are still waking up. The more you tighten your grip the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
  
• 
  27

  Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my freedom came with a heavy cost.

  i couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip i told my parents that i no longer wanted to be a jw.

  when my sister got back and i told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift i ever gave her in front of my door.. my entire family has turned against me.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  May your new home be filled with peace and adventure.
  
• 
  33

  Wanting Less Involvement (long newbie story)

  by DepthsResounding in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was raised a jw and am currently pioneer in a foreign language congregation.

  i have been unhappy on and off with my involvement in this religion and am ready to step back again.

  growing up i was always active but extremely reserved and a low hour publisher.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  Dear Depths, you sound very thoughtful and you seem to understand not just yourself but also your family and what is important to you, but I would like to add- right now. You are in a place of flux. Don't add any more life altering decisions. Leaving a cult is enough. One thing I have learned is that the org really undermines a woman's self-worth. It makes you feel responsible for the behavior of those around you, especially a husband. Jehovah's witness husbands who have bought into the whole 'men are the head' thing will under stress revert to JW behavior, and JW women raised in the religion are conditioned to certain responses. This man you are talking to is not forthcoming now. Red Flag. He is showing you who he is. You are a strong woman. You went to college while a witness.You speak more than one language. You have held beliefs that are your own in a cult. You are on this site. Don't sell yourself short with a mate.
  
• 
  14

  We do sound like a cult

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "we do sound like a cult..." so in the last few conversations i have had with my still deeply in friend she has mentioned this a couple times when lamenting things that don't seem right.

  she has a relative that left and is telling everyone jw's are a cult.

  she is very defensive and deeply disturbed by this accusation.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  Thank you everyone. I know many of us have alot of those we love dearly stuck in this cult. We hope they will realize what is happening, but we also realize the challenge ahead of them and wonder if they are up to it. I am starting to think that maybe things are unraveling.That toto has pulled back the curtain and to many have seen just a little too much. They are being told to disregard what they are seeing and their fear is telling them to listen but- If this sister is having some cracks in the jw armor maybe there are alot more that are about to see a very uncomfortable truth- the old wizards are just a bunch of carnival tricksters with alot of smoke, mirrors and fear telling people they will take care of the wicked witches of life if we just do them a few little favors. Maybe they and maybe we will all realize we always had the power all along.
  
• 
  14

  We do sound like a cult

  by notalone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "we do sound like a cult..." so in the last few conversations i have had with my still deeply in friend she has mentioned this a couple times when lamenting things that don't seem right.

  she has a relative that left and is telling everyone jw's are a cult.

  she is very defensive and deeply disturbed by this accusation.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  "We do sound like a cult..." So in the last few conversations I have had with my still deeply in friend she has mentioned this a couple times when lamenting things that don't seem right. She has a relative that left and is telling everyone JW's are a cult. She is very defensive and deeply disturbed by this accusation. My friend has seen alot of things within the org that are very different than we were told it should be. I don't even think she realizes it but she is putting pieces together. She misses meetings just because she is tired.She says that some things are not right and she is not going to keep quiet. She openly wonders if anyone is who they seem to be. Today, she again said, " we do sound like a cult..." I'm playing the long game.I don't want her to revert to defense mode. But I'm wondering how many out there are subconsciously waking up. How many are out there and just one or two steps away from totally awake and don't even realize it.
  
• 
  27

  Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my freedom came with a heavy cost.

  i couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip i told my parents that i no longer wanted to be a jw.

  when my sister got back and i told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift i ever gave her in front of my door.. my entire family has turned against me.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notalone

  Dear Saethydd, my heart goes out to you. I do believe this- that in truth there is strength. Today and for some days to come it will be hard. There will be many times when you will feel you just can't take it anymore and that due to the intensity of these emotions they will never go away. Truth brings strength. It also brings peace. You have lived and grown in a place of untruth. It is the place where your family still is. It feels weak and scary. There is fear not peace. Stand in truth. Stay in truth. You will find strength . You will find peace.You will find compassion. Maybe they will see it . Maybe they won't. The fear is deep and well cultivated, but it has a weakness. It is not truth. Here on this site you have found many that will continue to support you through this. We will help you to see truth, to stand in truth and be made strong by truth. My heart goes out to you for what you are facing now, but my heart rejoices that you have had the strength of character to stand with truth despite this challenge. Find the quiet, stand in truth and you will always find strength. Our deepest love