Escargot,
I'm sorry for what you must be feeling, To have someone in the org. to reach out is too far and few in-between. She must have been a wonderful person, (a true Christian) having unconditional love, another thing that is too far and few in the org.
I too will have to attend a funeral in the next few days and know that it will not be the man remembered but a message (how sad) Know that by your attendance that it will also be one of unconditional love, (knowing that you have learned what the org. is all about and going any ways) you are setting a fine example.
No matter how you are received you are going for the right reasons as a remembrance of the person.
I will be thinking of you and your wife and your loss.