Posts by OutsiderLookingIn

36

There seems to be many jw's marrying outside of org recently.

by atomant in

l was wondering if others have noticed this or is just my imagination?my sister whom has always been a fine example of a dub just got married to an outsider was a shock to everyone as no one knew she was dating an outsider.she seems happy.the elders are to shit scared of her to approach her about the matter.

OutsiderLookingIn

I am serious. I said unsuspecting. I think there's a very large segment of the population who know next to nothing about JWs. I certainly didn't beyond not celebrating birthdays. Even the door-to-door work was more of a running joke than something I saw firsthand. The few JWs I knew were polite and pleasant enough. If you don't know anything substantive, it seems like something you can just smooth out or that's not that big a deal.Then add that some (many?) JWs don't broadcast or even bother to mention that they're dubs. They just get you hooked and drop the news. Of course, everyone makes silly decisions in love, but the situation is complicated by a belief system that considers you evil just because you don't ascribe to it. That's a lot to fight against especially if you don't know all these factors are working against you.

I really do hope for true love and compatibility. I love love, but the JW factor makes it hard. If the JW really doesn't want their partner to become a witness, that's a plus. But how does that work on a daily basis? Can the JW life coexist with "normal" events in the life of a non-JW? That's not rhetorical; I really want to know.

Getmeout, sounds like you pass with flying colors :) Just remember, non-JWs aren't all the same. There are nice people and there are creeps too. But give people a chance...at least more than you ever did as a JW. We're all just trying to make it through this thing called life.

36

There seems to be many jw's marrying outside of org recently.

by atomant in

l was wondering if others have noticed this or is just my imagination?my sister whom has always been a fine example of a dub just got married to an outsider was a shock to everyone as no one knew she was dating an outsider.she seems happy.the elders are to shit scared of her to approach her about the matter.

OutsiderLookingIn

I have to say something here. Reposting something I posted a few months ago: I often see this question (or some statement that JWs should date outside their small pool) and it strikes me as selfish and patently unfair to the unsuspecting non-JW on the other end. We don't know about all your rules and those that do wish we didn't.

I'm all for compatibility and finding your true love but quite honestly, there should be some qualifying test for JWs before they can date or marry non-JWs:

1. Do you still believe JWs have "the truth"?

2. Do you secretly look down on or feel sorry for the person because he or she is not a JW?

3. Are you dating this person out of rebellion or youthful indiscretion and will kick him/her to the curb once you "grow out of it"?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, please step away from the "worldly" person and let us be. Let us live out our sad, unfulfilled lives until we get killed at Armageddon

Newsflash: we're people too. We have feelings. We're looking for love and happiness, sometimes in the wrong places. We're well aware that there are bad apples out there but many of us learn discernment because we have to. We don't assume everyone is depraved, awful or immoral just because they're not a JW. We judge people as individuals.

I'm not encouraged by this "development" if it means some unsuspecting "worldly" has to deal with the secret world of JWs. Especially since we already know JWs feel very comfortable leaving out very important details...theocratic warfare and all If it makes for future ex-JWs, though, it's definitely something to consider.

34

My boyfriend is thinking of becoming reinstated

by gypsyvine in

i'm not really sure where to post this.. i've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and i've really never been happier.

i was brought up in the church of christ with an elder father and i really believe in my religion, although i will admit to being a lousy christian at times due to sheer laziness (not wanting to get out of bed on sunday).

my boyfriend essentially lives with me.

OutsiderLookingIn

Giordano, it was my advice--my advice having never been a JW. I'm not that old (early 30s) and a single woman so I know the game. The situation being what it is, it was very sound advice: she met him when he was temporarily DF'd (only several months); they date for four months and he's trying to get reinstated. Not to mention, he says he wants to marry her but would only do so in secret. All of this says to me it's very likely he's still indoctrinated.

So they know they're sexually compatible; that's great. But sex can also make you think it's love when it's really just hormones. Been there, done that, have the T-shirt. Because none of us knows the future and because as a non-JW, she is very unfamiliar with the wacky world of JWs, it's best to exercise some caution until she has more information that isn't emotionally charged. If he really cares for her, waiting on the sex while she figures things out won't be a deal breaker. But he may just want to have his cake and eat it too (sex/relationship with a "worldly" girl while getting reinstated into a belief system he believes in). And if he still believes it's the "truth", he might be expecting her to convert or at a minimum live in accordance with it--no holidays or birthday celebrations. No, he may never verbalize it, but it's probably a "given" in his mind. Of course, he'll want his children to live the best way of life.

I obviously don't know the details of every case and I'm glad for every relationship that survives the WT curtain. But I have read some stories here about UBMs who didn't really know what JWs were all about or didn't intervene in a baptism because they thought it was harmless. My first suggestion was to get informed. It wasn't judgment or ill will. If they can live happily ever after with him reinstated and thumbing his nose at WT rules, then that's fantastic. But with the situation as it was presented, that was my advice and I stand by it.

5

help me understand: i can't find where in the new testament it states the partakes go to heaven

by goingthruthemotions in

so i am trying to gather some data so i could present to my wife.

i keep showing her john 6 where it states you need to partake of the bread and wine to be resurrected and in union with jesus and have everlasting life.. but, where in the bible does it say if you partake your going to heaven?

is this a wtbs twisting of scripture to fit there doctrine?.

OutsiderLookingIn

The Bible doesn't say that anywhere, just like 144,000 is never mentioned outside the book of Revelation. I think they point to Luke 22:28-30, what Jesus said to His disciples after the Lord's Supper. He told them they would have a kingdom and sit on thrones to judge the 12 tribes of Israel. So it only makes sense if you've already accepted the 144,000 doctrine, which itself makes no sense. First, if Jesus was telling them they'd judge the 12 tribes (which are the 144,000), how can the disciples correspond to the 144,000/anointed? Second, it completely ignores the fact that John 6 (which you've discussed with your wife) was spoken to a larger and still not-anointed group than just the apostles who shared the bread and cup with Jesus.

On a happier note, it seems like you're making some progress even if it is slow. That's great! Don't give up!

25

Happy Resurrection Sunday

by Perry in

jw
friends

.

wishing everyone a happy resurrection sunday.... from my family to yours!.

OutsiderLookingIn

Perry, I know what you mean about letting Christ do the work. I grew up in church, was a good kid, had a strong sense of justice and generally wanted to do the right thing. But it was the day I realized that we can't "be good" in our own strength and God never expected us to-- that it all clicked for me and my faith became real. Jesus died for me! And more than that, He is risen indeed :) I hope you had a wonderful Resurrection Sunday with the family.

25

Hello, I'm new to this site

by ScrewedandConfused in

hello, i thought i should introduce myself.

first, i apologize if my writing is not too good because english is not my first language.

my name is art and i am 25 years of age.

OutsiderLookingIn

One word: RUN. Two words: RUN FAST.

I know it sounds harsh. I can tell you care about her very much and you seem like a considerate and thoughtful person. But what you've said tells me that she cares more about the comfort of familiar relationships than the truth. And if she chooses the cult with the information she's seen, you're setting yourself up for failure. Right now, It's just you and her. Do you think it will be harder or easier to sort things out when you're married and have a child or two?

I'm not that old but oh to be 25 again. You have so much life ahead of you. Don't make decisions based on feelings that may be over sooner than you think. I know it's hard but believe it or not, you survive! Make a clean break while the stakes are low.

Oh, and welcome :)

15

My jw friend keeps preaching to me in e-mails

by Queenme in

jw
friends

dear friends this is my first time posting.

i am not a jw and have never been one but i have a friend who married a jw and converted.

in spite of the bunk barometer going off in my brain over the years and never responding to her efforts to convert me, she just cannot stop preaching.

OutsiderLookingIn

Queenme, I was just like you. I just thought the JWs were another garden-variety Christian group, didn't really know what cult meant besides legalistic. I have been thoroughly disabused of that notion. The things I have learned...

I don't know how much you want to save the friendship. You're in different countries and if these are your only interactions, there's not much there besides childhood nostalgia. People grow apart; you don't have to stay friends with someone who clearly doesn't respect your previous requests to stop the preaching. If you're ambivalent about the friendship or if you still care about her but don't care if she talks to you anymore, ask her a few questions she can't answer or will have very embarrassing answers. Hadriel gave some good ideas. Or tell her you know she's counting time and share some of the "bad news" about the JWs. There's much to choose from--child abuse, false prophecy, hypocrisy; out and out lying; unscriptural doctrines, etc. With conversations like this, making a placement won't be worth it to her. Be firm but gentle and genuine; she might need you later as a true friend.

26

Hashtag "BESTLIFEEVER!!"

by Lostwun in

is it just me or does it grind your gears when you see #bestlifeever hashtag after every damn jw post on fb and instagram?.

i rarely get on instagram anymore because i dont want to deal with the jw propaganda but i swear sometimes i just want to comment on one of those pics 'jw life is the worst life ever wake up already'.

does anyone else know what i'm talking about?

OutsiderLookingIn

I don't think I've ever seen this hashtag. Then again, I'm a mere worldly. But I can say for sure that I would not be impressed or even intrigued. I'd just be annoyed. Those are the people I take off of my FB newsfeed. There's a difference between posting pictures of major life events or exciting trips and humble-bragging (or actual bragging) about nothing. I mean, if I saw a picture of someone standing next to a cart outside the mall with this hashtag, it comes across as insecure and seeking validation for their life choices. It won't get a like or a second look from me.

47

How My Husband Helped Me See TTATT

by corruptgirl in

jw
friends

i wanted to write my experience on how my husband helped me see the ttatt (the truth about the truth).

first, let me mention that he wrote his own experience a couple months ago under the name sanchy.

for his story please click here….. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5148261828526080/walking-thin-line-resigning-elder

OutsiderLookingIn

Welcome, corruptgirl! I'm so glad to hear this! I remember reading Sanchy's story a few months ago and I'm glad it had a happy ending--and so quickly! Your tips are very helpful. I've never been a JW, but I'm challenging a JW I know using only the Bible. I don't know always if it's having an effect but I can definitely tell that his attachment is mostly emotional.

If I recall correctly, Sanchy was being consider for an elder position. I hope you can move away from the WT smoothly and get on with your life raising your children outside the high-control environment.

35

After Being Out for 17 Years He is Back In again!!!

by new boy in

jw
friends

i called a guy i haven talked with for over two years yesterday.

i met him at bethel back in the 1970's.

david b was known as the g job king back then.

OutsiderLookingIn

This is the saddest type of story to me. There was another woman away for 20+ years and went back. Crazy town! They never got rid of the idea that all worldly people are evil so it's confirmed when bad things happen or when they met a few bad eggs. I've been worldly my whole life and can honestly say that's just a part of life. Only a newborn baby has never been through anything and I'm not even sure about that; apparently, being born is something of a trauma.

Comfort over integrity is a choice like any other, I suppose. Sad :(