Posts by 3rdgen

44

Miniimizing 'Punishment' - marrying a non-JW

by doasthouwilt in

i’d like to marry my best friend of 30+ years, turned ‘secret’ girlfriend of 1 ½ years who is a jehovah’s witness, born into it, baptized and an active ‘pioneer’.

our marriage would happen prior to letting any of her jw friends and cohorts know that we are together.

once married she may simply come forward and ‘admit’ or we may wait until it’s found out – one way or the other, the reason for this marriage is not customary – i am hoping that by doing so she can avoid being ‘marked’ or possibly ‘disfellowshipped’ once our relationship is no longer a secret and due to our already being married at that point, there can be no notion from society elders about her ending the relationship.

3rdgen

I have a few questions.

You say you are not engaged but you would elope. Have you actually asked her to marry you? Has she accepted?

Is she aware of your plan to elope and announce your marriage to the congregation afterward? (which would deny her a wedding)

Is she willing to be disfellowshipped for this marriage? (the most likely outcome)

My take on this is that indeed she may have been scared by 9/11 into returning to good standing with JWs in order to survive Armageddon which seemed imminent. But when did she start pioneering? Was it after you two became more than friends? If so, that would indicate that in her mind, she is trying to pay for her sins with you by doing extra work for Jehovah. (kind of like penance) The trouble with that is her religion and her God don't officially accept it. Therefore, she is wasting her time pioneering.

The world is a scary place to be right now. (especially for someone with a JW background) She needs to be reminded that 9/11 came and went without Armageddon and so will today's events. She needs to be reminded that since the late 1800's the Watchtower has preached that Armageddon is imminent, that we are now living in the generation that will witness the end of the world- either by surviving it or being destroyed. The fear of being destroyed has to be replaced or she will always be a mental slave. Can you live with that? Can she?

11530

It's been a long 9 years Lloyd Evans / John Cedars

by Newly Enlightened in

original reddit post (removed).

3rdgen

Not just you Ozzie.

27

Pimo's walking out

by Foolednomore in

jw
friends

is it possible that jw's would get so worn out by watchtower 's bullshit that they would stand up gather their stuff and walk out of a meeting or a convention.

i can see a small number doing it..

3rdgen

OTWO,

I agree that it's probably rare to literally get up and walk out in the middle of a meeting. In my case, there were many many things that I found troubling within the organization in the nearly 60 years I was in but I took them to be allowed by J as a test of loyalty. That's what is drummed into the flock by the GB.

Yet, over time these things continue to pile up higher and higher until just one more straw breaks the cart. It doesn't even have to be big- just one too many. If it just so happens to be said or done at a meeting..... well out you go.

11530

It's been a long 9 years Lloyd Evans / John Cedars

by Newly Enlightened in

original reddit post (removed).

3rdgen

So I am really REALLY late to this party but want to say "Hi" and hugs to Dagney and Audi and mention how great it is to have Kim Silvio and Katy Kitten giving their perspectives on this walking Debacle better known as Lloyd Evans.

I was new to this site when "John Cedars" made his appearance. At first, I thought it was great to have yet another ex Elder on the board to share his insights and "inside information". But as we all know, he was ALWAYS about self-promotion rather than helping others. He was and is childishly offended over the slightest criticism.

I tried watching a few of his videos but never finished any because he takes HOURS to say what someone concise could deliver in 15 minutes. When you leave Watchtower as old as I did you don't want to waste any more time than necessary on the subject. Besides, I personally respond better to humor than many of his imaginary scandals.

In stark contrast to "Floyd Nevins", no, no I mean Flawed Evans, there is the absolutely DELIGHTFUL Katy Kitten whose videos are as entertaining as they are informative. Thank you for those Katy! I would love to meet you in person.

27

Pimo's walking out

by Foolednomore in

jw
friends

is it possible that jw's would get so worn out by watchtower 's bullshit that they would stand up gather their stuff and walk out of a meeting or a convention.

i can see a small number doing it..

3rdgen

I want to add that when I returned home I told Hubby about walking out of the KH and why specifically I was so upset. This was not a case of "Persecution". Where were the ones who studied with her and in the congregation who knew this savage abuse was ongoing? Why didn't they intervene? Call the authorities? SOMETHING? ANYTHING????

Nada... Nothing... Just "trust in Jee Ho Va" who "makes a way out" Well, I made my way out of that toxic, abusive, organization. It was the best decision of my life! So happy to say we have become mostly EX EX JWs.

27

Pimo's walking out

by Foolednomore in

jw
friends

is it possible that jw's would get so worn out by watchtower 's bullshit that they would stand up gather their stuff and walk out of a meeting or a convention.

i can see a small number doing it..

3rdgen

11 years ago hubby was having serious doubts about Watchtower but I was still loyally trying to hang on to my faith. It was the Co's visit so I went to the meeting alone. This was his first visit so I didn't know what to expect but I was hoping to feel "upbuilt" and "encouraged"

Boy, was I wrong! This guy was a pompous a$$hole who was giving a long, drawn out experience about a little 13 yo girl in Africa whose parents and other villagers beat and tortured her because she was studying with JWs. His gory details literally made me sick.

Before he finished this disgusting story. I stood up, slowly grabbed my things, and walked out the door. 2 elders followed me out and asked me what was wrong. I simply replied, "THAT was NOT encouraging!!"

That was the LAST time I set foot in a Kingdom Hall. We all have different "Last Straws" but mine was the glorifying of child abuse from a direct representative from the Headquarters of the Borg.

Clearly, I'm not the only one who was at a gathering of Jws and heard SOMETHING they couldn't stomach and walked out.

40

Will You Still Wear A Mask Even If You Don’t Have To?

by minimus in

jw
friends

it seems that some people just aren’t ready to put those masks aside even if they are fully vaccinated!

some can’t help but think their brains aren’t ready for “normal”..

3rdgen

My perspective as a woman is: I don't mind the masks too much because I can be anonymous while shopping etc. If I don't wear make-up or have a "bad hair day" nobody knows it's 3rdgen at least not for sure. I used to worry about what outfit I wore to town. Not anymore! It has been freeing in a way. Not to mention, I don't have to acknowledge JWs I run into because they aren't sure it's me. Big WIN!

However, with the hot weather, my M95 mask feels suffocating. So when I'm fully vaxed , I will lose it.

33

Would you leave the Watchtower if you woke up at age 80 plus, or just stay in for the rest of your life.

by pistolpete in

so yesterday while i was doing some work for a customer, i noticed the wt mags on the sofa.

and i asked the elderly man if he was a jehovah witness?.

he said that he and his wife and all his children were raised in the religion, but only he and his wife attend the meetings or zoom.

3rdgen

Hubby and I learned TTATT at about age 60. At about the same time both of our 2ndgen JW widowed mothers needed our care. (both of us are only children).

We kept what we learned from my mother who was in her mid-90s and suffered from dementia. Telling her anything contrary to her religion would be pointless. However, Hubby's mother was in her mid-80's and still sharp at the time so we s.l.o.w.l.y shared certain doubts, questions, and experiences with her. we were always calm- sort of matter-of-fact like it was no big deal.

We could tell it was having an effect. At the point where we had to move in together, we noticed that she quit contributing. Then she stopped asking to be taken to the KH for meetings. Next, she quit the phone tie-in. On meeting nights I made her favorite cocktail, fluffed the pillows of her easy chair, and watched her favorite TV show with her. She never said it out loud but she no longer was a believer. Shortly after she moved in she passed away peacefully. For her, learning TTATT freed her from any F.O.G. I only wish we had figured things out so much sooner!

12

What to say? Death of an adult child.

by jwundubbed in

my father married b when both her children and his children were grown adults.

b had two children, a son d and a daughter m. my sister db, my brother rh, and myself got along well with m but not at all with d, who was a very christian person but not a jw.

my siblings and i do not have much to do with our stepmother though we are civil and we don't have any hard feelings between us.

3rdgen

Yes, jhine, I feel very similar to you. It has been 16 years for me. I think of my son every day but usually with a smile. However, every year the dates of his birth and death are still full of sorrow and I'm a blubbering mess.

After 13 years of infertility, I miscarried twins. Horrible! Soon though, I gave birth to my healthy son, then a daughter. I can attest that the longer the child is with you the more there is to miss.

I do find a lot to be grateful for though

#1 Hubby and I learned TTATT and do not have any more FOG and are FINALLY (after 9 years) becoming ex exJW's. YEAH!

#2 After many difficult years I now have a great relationship with my daughter who is now happily married and they have a 2yo little boy. PRICELESS!

#3 13 years ago the ex passed away from drug abuse and is no longer causing us grief. KARMA?

12

What to say? Death of an adult child.

by jwundubbed in

my father married b when both her children and his children were grown adults.

b had two children, a son d and a daughter m. my sister db, my brother rh, and myself got along well with m but not at all with d, who was a very christian person but not a jw.

my siblings and i do not have much to do with our stepmother though we are civil and we don't have any hard feelings between us.

3rdgen

jhine, You have my deepest empathy. (((HUGS)))) How are you doing these days?

Hubby and I were active believing JWs at the time my son died. While I realized JWs are particularly ignorant about boundaries, still I was surprised at the stupidity of some of the comments and actions of "the friends".

The award for the most insensitive comment goes to:

Hubbys Aunt, who said in her card "You will need to get back into field service right away so that you make sure you will be there to see him again in paradise"

The award for most intrusive action EVER goes to:

My son's friend and his quasi JW father. Instead of leaving it up to ME to inform my son's DFed father THEY called him up and told him about the accident and implied we were keeping the death from him.

All hell broke loose and so that awful night I had to suffer the verbal abuse of my ex on top of my unbearable grief.

At least, this and much more helped hubby and me wake up.