how do you differentiate between someone [especially a young one] who made a mistake[s] and someone who is deceitful and rotten to the core? that you want to protect the congregation from?
it is called making a personal judgement call.
personally i hate it when you come face to face with someone disfellowshiped and you can't do a simple acknowledgement or greeting.
they are obviously making an effort to be there to be reinstated.
as i recall back in the 1970's they did allow this but what is always the case some took advantage of this provision and in engaged in full blown conversations.
how do you differentiate between someone [especially a young one] who made a mistake[s] and someone who is deceitful and rotten to the core? that you want to protect the congregation from?
it is called making a personal judgement call.
well i think the borg crossed the line with many of the r&f.
met a young woman at a class i take come to find out she and her husband are recent ex-jws.
they were both born-ins and they felt the printing company is taking too many liberties and that many in the khs are not talking about it... just leaving.
raymond,
Do you think this is what happened? They tell the MS and elders in a seperate meeting?
well i think the borg crossed the line with many of the r&f.
met a young woman at a class i take come to find out she and her husband are recent ex-jws.
they were both born-ins and they felt the printing company is taking too many liberties and that many in the khs are not talking about it... just leaving.
Well, her husband was an elder and they have teenage children. I guess there was a big hoopla about if they were going to hold the hard line on education or not. Apparently the rules were relaxed for the R&F but if an elder entertained ideas of sending his own children to college that was a huge NO No. How can they have a double standard like that? Also the term "mentally diseased" when discribing those that have left is not going down with the koolaid so well. Anyone hear of this double standard for elders?
well i think the borg crossed the line with many of the r&f.
met a young woman at a class i take come to find out she and her husband are recent ex-jws.
they were both born-ins and they felt the printing company is taking too many liberties and that many in the khs are not talking about it... just leaving.
Well I think the Borg crossed the line with many of the R&F. Met a young woman at a class I take come to find out she and her husband are recent ex-JWs. They were both born-ins and they felt the Printing company is taking too many liberties and that many in the KHs are not talking about it... just leaving. It makes sense that they would just leave and not discuess it as everyone is afraid of everyone else.
because of "religious" differences, she now wants me to move out and "separate"...i said what biblical grounds does she have for her request?.
she couldnt respond...she said she'd rather be beaten up by me than have an "apostate" in the house.... this org definitely encourages conditional love.... i don't know what to do...by the way, we dont have children.
.
Make sure from now on that you do not have any children until you and your wife settle this or seperate. Children deserve BOTH a father a mother.
my youngest who i haven't seen for 6 months came to collect the rest of her stuff from the flat today.. she was cold and indifferent towards me until the dog went for her because she no longer knows her and then she blamed me for everything that has happened.. having trouble keeping it together now..
This is probably not the best thread to say this, but it underscores how I feel.We all know the Borg, Printing Company has rules and regulations that spilt people, families up, and I can't think of a worst situation than a mother being rejected by her own children. However if we look at this horriable situation from all angles we may find other options rather than waiting the the Printing company to tell our family it is OK to treat us like family, which we know they Never will.
What I am proposing is just like with a drug addict or alcoholic who have not reached bottom, you CAN bring the bottom up by allowing their behavior (JUst like an alcololic) to fall into the pit of their natural consequences instead of fighting and stuggling to save any part of the relationship. Take the Printing company out of the equation. Look ONLY at the behavior of the person; in this case, your daughters. Just like you can not blame the alcohol or drugs, you can not blame the Printing Company.
Amelia, I truly feel for you; these are your children and grandchildren, but instead of waiting for scraps of affection to fall from their table, give them what they say they want. (Give them enough alcohol to get really sick). It will take time, but far less time than waiting for the Printing company to change their rules again.
Don't announce anything. This time you cut yourself off from your daughters. Give them what they "thinK" they want. Stop making contact, no phone calls to them, not even to your grandchildren. No cards, letters or emails. No babysitting for your daughters. But don't you stay idle either. Volenteer somewhere, Meals on Wheels, reading to school children, taking craft classes, do something to ease your pain while you wait.
Take my word for it, the natural pull a child has for it's parent cannot be broken for long, not even by the Printing company, but YOU MUST BE STRONG.
I have seen this work even with my own family.
Warm regards
i assume most of us here participate in other discussion forums of various genres.
on those forums, where there may be jw participants, what would be some thread topic ideas for baiting them into a conversation, for the purpose of asking them questions that might help wake them up?.
i realize that's a pretty broad question.
The very thought/act of any JW even coming to JWN or seeking any other apostate site/book/video is preceded by doubts. I bet for every post on here is there 10 lurkers. Just look at how many view posts and do not comment. It is more 100 to 1 if you go by those numbers. You don't need to bait anyone. Actually you do them a great favor by bringing up topics directly. I mean, we don't feel guilty about bringing up topics, but they SURE DO. I know this sounds down right ass backwards, but think about it. If you are strong enough to be blamed for talking about a topic, then you have them feeling more comfortable in talking period as you have taking the blame for bringing it up. No sh@# off your nose, but a great weight is taken off their shoulders.
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Nicely written. I truly identify with your discription of 3 grade mentality. I remember sitting at the hall a a pre-teen rolling my eyes at the infantile stuff they talked about. I think the funniest service meetings were the one directly before a assembly... you know... the hygine talk... make sure your car is clean and looks respectable. LOL
although we all know that there are many disadvantages of being brought up ( vomit sound) in the truth.
but would you say that leaving has maybe caused you to do some things that you would not have normally have done in life ?
for me personally now i have lots of free time ( mine all mine, evil laugh) i have almost finished my first novel.
Whoa let me count....
raised my sons differently, I finished my GED and went to the university got my masters in social work, held a job for 10 years that fit my qualifications (and it wasn't cleaning houses), I learned to trust my myself and others, found interest in everyday life, not sometime in the future....I could spend all day listing
there are so many recent joiners to this forum and many have the same questions about helping their loved one leave jehovah's witnesses.. we can try to cushion our statements.
we can approach the subject with thinking questions that seem to be disconnected to jw issues, but really are not disconnected.
we can state so-called "apostate" positions from a "doubter" view instead of one that is convinced of the lies.. we can learn all there is to learn about cognitive dissonance and dangerous mind-control cults.. we can read all kinds of things about jw history and doctrine and secret practises of the organization.. we can and should do what we can from the above to help someone we care about to free themself from the jehovah's witnesses.. but many of you newbies (and still a bunch of us oldbies here) want to know how to politely say .
Great thread OTWO,
Simon, this thread should be put permenantly where newbes can see it. And hopefully for all of us to review it occasionally.