Posts by exjwlemming

6

"Worldly" boyfriend has never met my JW family, and might never will.

by BL_Poet in

public service announcement: i am not going to write a whole backstory on myself, i just simply want to get to the point.. i have been disfellowshipped now for almost 3 years, for i had a baby out of wedlock, not by my current boyfriend, but by a guy i was dating at the time- don't judge me ;) lol- my current boyfriend and i have been dating for a year now.

i've met his family-only his parents, and his cousins family, of whom i knew before i met him, thus how i met him through a bbq- at the time, he knew i was a single mom, and didn't know too much of my backstory.

as you can imagine, i had to tell him about how my babies father and i didn't work out, due to his wandering eye, and how i had little to no support due to being disfellowshipped, or as the "world" knows it by- disassociated- from my religion.

exjwlemming

I'm sorry for your situation. When I was in the org, I told my JW kids that nothing would ever cause me to shun or abandon either of them. I felt that this was so cruel and wrong. It's a shame that you are in this situation. After I left the org, my kids and family started shunning me (before being DFed).

Like you, I moved on and went on with my life with or without them. I met a wonderful and kind woman (not a JW). Likewise, the whole family shunning issue was difficult for her and her parents to understand. We married and I was disfellowshipped. Her family had opened their arms to me and couldn't have been more loving and supportive. It took some time though. It was foreign to them and completely unnatural. Though I miss my kids and parents, I have a new family that is not contingent on towing the WTBTS line. They are good people and I'm sure that your boyfriend's family will be the same way if giving the time and some education on the "JW way." Your boyfriend sound like a great and supportive man with you and your child. The family that opened their arms to you is a good situation to be in. This situation will take some time to work itself out. Time is a good healer.

As far as getting the "side eye" from your Bf's dad, might I suggest one Youtube video. John Cedars (Lloyd Evans) produced a great segment on Youtube in regards to the sickening convention, "Remain Loyal." One of the sections is a rebuttal to the shunning episode. There is a similarity to your situation and they drama portrayed at the convention. Explaining to your Bf's family that shunning is indoctrinated into the JW culture and taught at large assemblies might ease their suspicions. Since this is from a 3rd party on the otherside of the world, I think that seeing this video would explain the real situation that you are in. They would learn that there is nothing wrong with you, but that you are a victim of a controlling cult that places the cleanliness of the org above everything else. Best wishes. The link is below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK7GPoGkWw4&t=176s

3

Chapter 47 New Boy 50 years a Watchtower slave

by new boy in

jw
friends

chapter 47. eleven out of one thousand.

even though i said i can’t do it anymore, it’s not like i had a plan of any kind.

i didn’t want out of the marriage just out of the religion.

exjwlemming

Thank you, new boy.

81

Secret sex in the Org

by pomo6780 in

2 pioneers of the opposite sex.

the brother is in his mid-20s, sister is in her late 20s.

both are alone in car as the only 2 out in field service.

exjwlemming

Elder, an influential pillar in the congregation, with 3 kids has an affair with a JW sister in another local congregation. The elder is confronted by his suspecting wife. They divorce. The sister divorces her JW husband and marries the former elder. The elder is Dfed and marries the mistress. His ex-wife marries the other brother that was cheated on. Basically, spouse swapping. The ex-elder is shunned, unsuccessfully tries to kill himself, and is severely disfigured. All 3 kids left the org and never looked back. Now, all of them are old, miserable JW zombies.

27

Why the move to Warwick?

by optimisticskeptic in

i've seen a lot of posts around and about warwick and the goings on there but was curious as to people's theories on why the move to warwick?

granted there's the obvious point about all of the money from the sale of properties in brooklyn but for as massive as warwick is, the purchase of an apartment complex there, multiple sites and buildings i would be surprised if they had much left from all of the profits.

so beyond a financial incentive why move?

exjwlemming

Simple, flipping the commercial property, stockpiling money to ride this out as long as they can, and hoping that it lasts until they they all die off.

2

The Big Sick - movie discussion

by traveb in

jw
friends

i watched this movie recently, which is about a pakistani immigrant living in chicago who falls in love with a white woman.

i was struck by the similarities to the jw culture when the main character experiences trials with his traditional muslim family.

essentially, he is shunned and his parents refuse to talk to him.

exjwlemming

One big exception though, all the other Muslims will not cut off the parents if they do have a relationship with their unbelieving and non practicing son. JWs are much worse.

52

Are Beards becoming more acceptable due to decline in membership?

by UnshackleTheChains in

i noticed a young brother with a beard being given more privelages within our hall.

when he first grew his beard, he lost his privelages.

but more and more recently he has been helping out a lot more.. the cobe is old school and a stickler for rules, but with the hall becoming more empty these days, and the need for young brothers, he seems to have relaxed on this particular watchtower/man made rule.

exjwlemming

Talk about "straining out the gnat and gulping down the camel." It's a shame that they don't spend more time lawfully taking care of the pedophiles in their midst instead of policing facial hair.

78

Work Christmas functions: Being a Bible Student (unbaptized)

by rulehayl in

jw
friends

hi all,i have been studying with the witnesses for more than 6 months and regularly attend both midweek & weekend meetings, and i am nearly at the end of the "bible teach" book.

my boss is adamant i attend team christmas functions.

she knows about my studying and potential baptism next year, and has suggested that i attend and just not participate in activities like kris kringle.

exjwlemming

A long time ago, I was in the same position that you are. Now, I realize that this is the first step in isolating you of everything outside of the JW org. It's baby steps. First, cut off any extracurricular outside the org at work...then friends outside the org...and finally family. Once you are isolated from any outside influence, you are in their grip, fear, obligation, and guilt. You will be investing in superficial friendships that are wholly conditional on obedience to a man made organization. Once fully invested without anything on the outside, it will be much harder to leave once your eyes are opened. They play by the same rules as scientology except without the huge financial investment due to the witness prohibition on higher education and secular advancement (reasons for their current downfall.) You can substitute L Ron Hubbard with Russell, Franz, or the governing body. I cut everybody and everything off and listened and "faithfully" followed their edicts and admonitions. At nearly 50, I am still recovering from a stunted lifestyle and a lack of true friendships and family relationships that support a happy lifestyle. I wasted years serving a self preserving organization that is only concerned about itself and it's outward appearance. As an example, see the exposed JW pedophilia legal issues and cover ups. Look at jwfacts.com. They are not "apostate lies." You will just be a cog in their machine and tossed aside once you are not useful to their needs. You need to research outside the org on the internet, something that wasn't available when I was indoctrinated.

10

Faithleaks-Did you guys see this?

by carla in

the story mentions they may come after jw's-.

http://www.sltrib.com/religion/local/2017/11/07/memo-to-all-religions-mormonleaks-may-be-coming-after-you-with-new-faithleaks-site/?hl=1&noredirect=1.

exjwlemming

I can see the spin from the GB now.....apostate lies! You can throw all the proof in front of the rank and file and all they need to hear is apostate lies....the "spiritual" equivalent to "fake news." Best wishes though. :)

10

November 3, 2017 TO ALL CONGREGATIONS IN THE US BRANCH Re: Update on Recent Natural Disasters

by wifibandit in

november 3, 2017 to all congregations in the united states branch territory re: update on recent natural disasters.

exjwlemming

6-12 months of volunteer service? I guess that they think that the brothers are independently wealthy and have no reason to work a regular 9-5 job to pay the bills? They have no clue on what it's like to support themselves and possibly a family. They all aren't fortunately able to suck the free tit at Warwick.

10

How many watchtowers do the witnesses receive each year?

by Truth and Justice in

jw
friends

my question is how many watchtower and awake magazines do the witnesses receive thru the year?

my mother and i stop going about 30 years ago, my sister does attend still, and she says that they will receive 3 watchtowers and 3 awakes a year.

is that true?

exjwlemming

I remember when they were shipped in the mail in a plan brown wrapper with your address typed with a dot matrix printer. It seemed as if we received either an Awake or Watchtower every week. My parents had a huge stack of them piled up in the laundry room.