Joel, I think it's a very natural thing to miss the good things of the past, even if they were part of something which, overall, may have been distasteful. But, if I may, let me share something with you.
I was disfellowshipped in 1978. Even though a year earlier I had already started to become disillusioned with the WBTS and resigned my eldership, that had nothing to do, directly, with my disfellowshipping. My disfellowshipping was for one of the classic reasons. However, after being disfellowshipped I began to feel a new kind of freedom. The freedom to think objectively. I no longer felt reluctant to question the ideas and teachings I had embraced all my life. I was able to recognize and declare out loud as error much of what I had once proclaimed as "the truth". Then, after about two years, I began to really miss being a JW, or at least miss the association with the only friends I had ever known. Then I began to rationalize. Maybe it was my thinking that was all screwed up. Maybe this was "Jehovah's organization". Maybe I should try to get reinstated. And I did. It took about nine months of going back to meetings and a few meetings with the committee and in 1981 I was reinstated.
Then a funny thing happened! Once I was "back in" and the stress of trying to get and keep my s#*t together was over, I started actually paying attention in meetings again and thinking about what was being written in the publications and being said from the platform. Then in hit me! What the hell was I doing? I didn't really believe this stuff! As much as I loved many of the individuals - and, for the record, still do - I no longer had the ability to sit there and swallow the bull-dookey without a chaser. I began to see that I had moved farther away from that part of my life than I had realized. So I gradually stopped attending meetings. I just kinda faded away. That was just about twenty years ago. Now, other than an occasional memorial service at the Kingdom Hall for one of my old friends who has passed on, I never have a single thought about going back.
The point of this little story is just to say, it's hard to go back home. If you do decide to give it a try, you will likely find it just doesn't feel like it used to. Follow your heart, but just to be on the safe side, check the roadmap of common sense ever now and then, too! I wish you the best, in whatever you decide to do.