I decided to put an end to my affiliation with the JWs for good. This decision is not the result of an irrational impulse. It is quite the contrary. I could have (and should have) left earlier, but didn't because I was still observing. Now that I have enough data to draw a solid conclusion, I can leave with no guilt.
Update on the past weeks:
I had found a way to be at peace despite my bullies many attacks. I shunned completely (no interactions, not even a glance) the people who were showing hostility towards me in one way or another. This includes the Presiding elder's family and two bitter middle aged single sisters (very good friends with the Presiding elder's wife). At that point everything was doing fine. I even starting to fit in (even though this was not what I was aiming). But then It had been brought to my attention that my attitude towards the sisters mentioned above needed to be corrected. I simply disregarded the conceal and continued to shun the authors of the complaint . So I continued to greet the people who were nice to me and snubbed the ones who marked me.
The last attack:
One last bullet had been trown at my face. It was my shunners final attack, and it was directed by the presiding elderette. She managed to put (not all, but most of) the sisters against me. The sisters who had nothing against me initially suddenly became very distance with me. Don't ask me what she told them. I don't have a clue. Dispite my disappointment, I went with the flow and respected the sisters wish to minimize interaction with me. It didn't bothered me too much because I had one friend left (let's call her Maria). Beside she was only three years yonger than me. I felt like MAria was the only one I could relate to in my congregation because she was young and unbaptized. I went along very well with her, and her parents ,who are rather liberal, seemed to appreciate me very well. At the end of each meeting, Maria and I would spent at least 30 min cheat-chatting. The fact that I had a friend with Who I could hang-out with must had bothered the presiding elderette very much because she had found a way to put an end to my friendship with Maria. One particular day I caught her staring at me while I was laughing at Maria's joke. I didn't know for how long she had be staring. All I could see was the anger in her eyes!! If a glare could kill, I would not be able to tell my story today. At that very moment I knew something was going to happen. The next meeting Maria didn't hangout with me at the biggening/end of the meeting. She stopped doing so ever since. I don't resent her for that though. Somebody must had told her mother something about me. Maria's parents would still be nice with me, they just wouldn't let their daughter hanging out with me. That final attack hurt, but I decided to keep searching for something godly in this congregation. I attended a few more meetings, and then decided to leave. In the middle of the song, I went to the restroom, tough to myself that this environment was unhealthy, went back to the hall, packed my stuff, told my study conductor that I had an emergency, and left for Good.
I'm done with this! For the bible studies who read this post, your experience with the jws, unlike mine, can be a good one if you are friends with the good people. I wish you good luck on your journey. XoX.
